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Wedding Reviews Alison, it was a honour and privilege to have you sing on our special day. I couldn't have imagined anyone else to share our day with us. Alison is amazing and you definitely won't be disappointed. -Jess, happy Bride Alison sang at our wedding and was it absolutely beautiful. She is very professional, organised and went above and beyond for our special day. We try and catch her when she is singing around town as it always guarantees to be a great day - Tennille, happy Bride I first heard Alison sing on the night my now husband proposed to me. She was singing for a function at the Lakes Resort Restaurant, Mt Gambier. My husband and I loved the tunes and the atmosphere and I knew this was what I wanted my guest to experience on my own wedding day. Alison has such a marvellous voice I can still hear her singing “my song” A thousand years by Christina Perri to this day. My guests were blown away with her beautiful voice and I commend her for creating a magical ceremony.I would whole heartedly recommend Alison for any function or wedding as she is the “finishing touch.” Claire & James Buckley Alison recently sang at our wedding and it was absolutely beautiful to listen to her. She is incredibly talented and so friendly and easy going. Thank you again Alison for being part of our special day - Siobhan, happy Bride Alison is a professional, fun and flexible performer, with significant experience in helping couples set the soundtrack to their special day. I've loved working with Alison and highly recommend her calm and adaptable approach to delivering a professional and entertaining service at any venue. Tim Gerritsen—Pianist/Organist Alison performed at our wedding in 2009. The addition of live music meant that our songs were arranged by Alison in styles that we loved. Alison's professionalism saw this part of the day run smoothly, and we didn't need to worry about any part of this, including the volume or the quality of the sound. We would highly recommend Alison's singing to add a personalised and special touch to your wedding day, or any event. Emma and John Anderson

Jillian Lauren US best selling author + journalist S2 Ep70 Listen and subscribe on Spotify and itunes/Apple podcasts I am thrilled to welcome Jillian Lauren to the podcast this week, a writer, investigative journalist, adoption advocate, rock + roll wife + mother of 2 based in Los Angeles, United States Jillian grew up in Livingston, New Jersey and graduated from Newark Academy in 1991. She then moved to New York City as a 16 year old, where she studied acting at New York University. Soon after, she started exotic dancing in New York at the Kit Kat Club + became an escort. This led to Jillian being selected to join the harem of the Prince of Brunei for 18 months. When Jillian returned from this incredible adventure, she attended Antioch University and graduated with an Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing. This saw the beginning of her writing career, with Jillian's work since appearing in The New York Times, Vanity Fair and Los Angeles Magazine. Jillian is a New York Times Best Selling author of 2 memoirs Some Girls: My Life in a Harem , about her experience as The Harem Girl, and Everything You Ever Wanted about her journey of adopting her son Tariku from Ethiopia in 2009. Tariku came to the family as an 18 month old, and brought with him intense trauma responses and during the next few years Jillian learned so much about advocating for her child and trusting her instincts. Jillian and her husband Scott Shriner (bassist from Weezer) added to their family in 2015 when they adopted through the US foster system their second son Jovi, who has a history of trauma and abuse, and has an autism diagnosis. She has also written a fiction novel entitled Pretty and has an upcoming novel based on her personal account of confronting serial killer Samuel Little called Behold the Monster coming out in 2023 . Several of Jillian’s manuscripts are being developed into TV + Film projects the most recent being Confronting a Serial Killer released on STARZ. The five-episode series tells the story of the relationship between Jillian Lauren + the most prolific serial killer in American history Sam Little, and her work to bring out the truth and the identities of the 93 women he murdered, before he passes away. **This episode contains discussions around infertility, pregnancy loss + miscarriage, childhood trauma, a serial killer and does contain a bit of swearing** Visit Jillian's website Podcast website / instagram Music used with permission from Alemjo , Australian new age + ambient music trio. When chatting to my guests I greatly appreciate their openness and honestly in sharing their stories. If at any stage their information is found to be incorrect, the podcast bears no responsibility for guests' inaccuracies. Podcast transcript at the bottom of the page Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of The Art of Being A Mum Podcast. I'm beyond honoured that you're here and would be grateful if you could take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star review in iTunes or wherever you are listening. It really helps! This way together we can inspire, connect and bring in to the light even more stories from creative mums. Want to connect? Take a screenshot of this episode and share it on Instagram tagging me in with @art_of_being_a_mum_podcast I can't wait to connect. And remember if you or somebody you know would like to be a guest on the podcast, get in touch ! I love meeting and chatting to mammas from all creative backgrounds, from all around the world! Thank you! Alison acknowledges this Land of the Berrin (Mount Gambier) Region as the Traditional Lands of the Bungandidj People and acknowledge these First Nations people as the custodians of the Region. Ch eck out more episodes ..... Welcome to the Art of Being a mum, the podcast. It's a platform for mothers who are artists and creatives to share the joys and issues they've encountered, while continuing to make art. Regular themes we explore include the day to day juggle, how mother's work is influenced by the children, mum guilt, how mums give themselves time to create within the role of mothering, and the value that mothers and others place on their artistic selves. My name's Alison Newman. I'm a singer, songwriter, and a mom of two boys from regional South Australia. You can find links to my guests and topics we discussed in the show notes. Together with music played, how to get in touch, and a link to join our lively and supportive community on Instagram. The art of being a mum acknowledges the Bondic people as the traditional owners of the land, which his podcast is recorded on. Thank you so much for joining me today. I'm thrilled to welcome to the podcast Jillian Lauren. Julian is a writer, investigative journalist, adoption advocate, rock and roll wife and mother of two based in Los Angeles in the United States. Jillian grew up in Livingston, New Jersey, and graduated from New York Academy in 1991. She then moved to New York City as a 16 year old, where she studied acting at New York University and soon after started exotic dancing at the KitKat club and became an escort. This led to Jillian being selected to join the harem of the prince of Brunei, where she stayed for 18 months. When Julian returned from this incredible adventure, she attended Antioch University and graduated with a Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing. This saw the beginning of her writing career with Julian's work now appearing in The New York Times, Vanity Fair and Los Angeles magazine. Julian is a New York Times best selling author of two memoirs, some girls my life in a harem about her experience as the harem girl and everything you ever wanted about her journey of adopting her son tariku from Ethiopia in 2009. Tarik, who came to the family as an 18 month old and brought with him intense trauma responses, and during the next few years, Julian learned so much about advocating for her child and trusting her own instincts. Jillian and her husband, Scott Shriner, the bass player from Weezer, added to their family in 2015. When they adopted through the US foster system, their second son Jovi, who has a history of trauma and abuse, and an autism diagnosis. She's also written a fictional novel entitled prissy, and has an upcoming novel. Based on her personal account of confronting serial killer Samuel little called Behold The Monster coming out in 2023 Several of Julian's manuscripts are being developed into TV and film projects, the most recent being confronting a serial killer released on stars. The five episode series tells the story of the relationship between Julian and the most prolific serial killer in American history, Sam little and Julian's work to bring out the truth and the identities of the 93 women he murdered before he passes away. This episode contains discussions around infertility, pregnancy loss and miscarriage, childhood trauma, a serial killer, and it does contain a bit of swearing. If you're triggered by anything we discussed today, please reach out for help, either to those around you, or by seeking assistance online. I've compiled a great collection of international resources. If you're looking for a place to start, you can head to the podcast landing page, Alison newman.net/podcast. The music you'll hear on today's podcast is from my ambient new age music trio, LM J, which is comprised of myself, my sister, Emma Anderson and her husband, John. I really hope you enjoyed today's episode. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Julian. It's a real pleasure to meet you. It is so nice to be here. Yeah. And it's funny. I feel like I kind of know I don't know you but I know so much about you through the memoirs that you've written. How did you first sort of get into writing? Well, I have kept a journal since I was eight. So I always wrote always, like I had that, you know, muscle in place. But you know, I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to be director I want to be anything but a writer and it really took you know, a journey through some unusual places until I landed where I belong, you know, until I I said to myself, like, what is it that has been consistent in my life for all these years? What do you think? What do you think you were sort of pushing back against the writing that you didn't sort of validate it really hard? Really hard. It's, it's, it's hard to finish. It's hard to start. It's just hard. Like, if you can possibly choose anything else choose anything else? Well, that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. And, and being a memoirist, it's, you're very, you're being very vulnerable, which I want to commend you for too, because the things that you're sharing, you know, people can relate to, and it opens these opportunities for conversations, which are really important. Did you find was that the first sort of style of writing that you went to? Like, I guess, because if you're journaling in your diary, no, because I couldn't sell my first novel. Yeah. That's the memoir. To tell you the truth. I wanted nothing more than to never write that memoir. Yeah. Why to never write some girls, because I knew I knew was sensational. Like that it would get bought, very likely, you know, because I'm not the only woman who was over there. But, you know, I'm also a real writer. Yes. There are so many book clubs I go to where they're like, do you write your own book? I'm like, I'm the writer. Yeah. I'm not like a celebrity with a ghostwriter. Um, yeah, that's it. But it was really scary. And I knew what I was doing. And I tried very hard to eat much more New York curry. And that's always you know, how I saw myself, you know, at the Algonquin club or something, and I'm like, okay, given the times. And, you know, and they were like, nah, nah. And I had just gotten out of graduate school, and I started librarian school, I started to get my master's in library science, because I was starting to think like, you know, I need a plan B. And my husband was like, you know, when I said, I would support you through graduate school. That wasn't like, forever of graduate school. So, like, can you tell me what the plan is here? And, and I was like, you know, what gave me three months. Give me just give me three months, I have this one card left to play. And I talked to my agent. And you know, she's like, I can't sell this. I'm sorry. I love it. I can't sell it. And I was like, Well, you know, I've been thinking writing a memoir, this really interesting thing happened to me, I was the Mistress of the principle and I when I was a teenager, and she was like, what? Job was on the table, you know, like, how have you not told me this before? And I was like, I didn't want to write about it. That's why and, you know, and she was like, Well, do you genuinely feel like you're ready to write about it now? Like, consider all the consequences? Consider, you know, what it means to become memoirist. Consider you're going to be the heroine girl for the rest of her life. When she did you get to a certain point where you're like, okay, not so bad. Not so bad harem girl but I that was actually a quote from one of the other women who was who was in printer, who I still keep in touch with and yeah, you know, she said, like, I mean, thank God, I just something crazy. That's something like that. Not many people could say that. They've had an exciting experience like that. And it's such an exciting life. There is definitely an element of, of edge pushing to my life. You know, I'm an adrenaline junkie. I'm super curious. I always want to see the things that people aren't looking at, you know, I want I want to see the man behind the curtain. Ilana, like, you know, just like I just have the urge to have that kind of bite out of life and it doesn't was winding up in the best places, you know. But it has given me some very interesting stories the next memoir that I've read that you wrote was everything you ever wanted. Can you share with the viewers the sorry, not the viewers, the listeners, what that books about? Everything You Ever Wanted is about the process of adopting my older son. He's 14 Now, his name is tariku. We call them T. And he was adopted from Ethiopia. And before that, we had an extensive history with infertility and that and miscarriages. A lot of miscarriages. We were just sort of reflecting on it the other day. Now that's so far in the past, and like, there was a minute, my period was late. And I was just like, oh, wow, like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, gosh, yeah, I do not have enough notice for this right now. And we were just laughing and you know, of course, you know, we would have just accepted it as a blessing it was but yeah, and you know, whether it was miscarriage, just like period or whatever, like it hadn't happened in years. So we were reflecting on how painful that journey was. And, you know, now we have teenage boys, and it's not painful to me anymore, but I can remember. Yeah, yeah, it felt like and also like, your concerns get so different. Yeah, yeah. You know, try like listening with a glass trying to figure out who's a girlfriend? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Any wants to go to Annapolis? He must be like a navy combat pilot. Yeah, right. Yeah. No, and like, he's a whole person. But, you know, I wrote this book every day, I sat down and people criticize, I'm sure as you know, you know, people, women who talk about parenting, right about parenting, or podcasts about parenting mate material about parenting, like, we're exploiting our children. And I'm like, you know, parenting is as valid and experience you know, motherhood is as valid and experience as climbing Mount Everest, or anything else, or bagging groceries, or, you know, might be kowski worked at the post office. So what I was going through was early motherhood. And, you know, and adoption, which was, you know, really exciting, an interesting process, and I was dying to write about that. And, and our beautiful like, we consider our family that we met during that trip who really changed our life. We were there were nine families all together. And we really went through something together and not to like give any spoilers but for instance, they did our paperwork wrong. So we went through the whole week there and Addis transitioning him out of the orphanage you know how painful and difficult that was and of course I have 1000 funny stories about like, you know, like he's not pooping die people other people in the house that were already parents so they were Yeah, lets us but um you know, I mean, we all still keep in touch. Yeah, that's from and when our they had written your, we were like, supposed to adopt a child up to four years old. Like that. You You know, except they wrote four months old. Yeah. This the paperwork. So we're standing there like at the embassy, I am like, I have like the baby, and ergo, we're like ready to get on a plane the next day. There's nowhere to sit. It's just like, there's nowhere to go. Everyone else got their stuff. And they just kind of like walked away from us. And we were like I mean, I was running around, like, it was, you know, like, like, there was like, an alarm that nuclear missiles were coming. Like, I was like, shaking people. They're like, where did that man go? That man who was right there? Where did that man go? Anyway, so the whole group had a chance to go home, you know, we would have had just stayed there. And they come back for us, obviously, we're going to stay there for a long time. And they all stayed with us. Yeah, could pay for. I mean, it was like, it was most unlikely group of friends. And we all still, you know, love each other kids still know each other's incredible process. So, you know, I wanted to write about that those friendships. And then, you know, realizing that T was, you know, had special needs. And there's been diagnosed and re diagnosed column what? calm a lot of things. You know, diagnoses aren't magic. They can just maybe help you communicate with people. Right? About what might help. You know, I mean, basically, everything. We're like, Alright, so for $5,000, you just told us exactly what we already know. Thank you so much. I'm just, you know, the screening, screening and just learning for me to settle into this, you know, acceptance, which we all do as mothers, but I'm like it, I am a very imaginative and a kind way to myself, but, you know, also sort of a controlling person, I would like to, I would like to, like, set the diorama stage and, you know, bring my baby home and have I done all the reading all the, you know, I had to like mill to do the organic baby food and shit. I was canning, I don't know what happened. I really doubt. But, you know, what, he didn't give a shit about organically milled anything. And anything, or, you know, and I was like, we're gonna make homemade bread. Um, and, you know, that wasn't what you wanted or needed. It was, you know, that was my idea. Yeah. Do you want a given what her need? Do you think that some of that is sort of brought on by what, like society expects us mothers to be and the standard that they expect us to hold ourselves to? Yeah, I mean, really, I mean, not all of it, because I'm a little hyperactive myself. So, you know, it's like, you know, Scott will say, like, you know, I'll, I'm writing an article about Tango. So I, all of a sudden, like, all do is Tango for two solid months, like, I'm out every night till two in the morning, smelling like Argentine gangsters when I come home, you know? And, and then article came out and like, I haven't dance. And so, you know, it's like, I picked up on every, every parenting trend, every one of them, you know. And in Los Angeles, it's like, I mean, I imagine like in most major cities, you find you're sort of, you know, you have to find your sort of niche. If you want community to support us. So, you know, we had friends that were into Waldorf, we had friends that were into something called dry. I don't know if you know what that is. It's basically like, put your babies in an octagon and just like, let them work it out. Let the curiosity out. Okay. It's a new one for me. I went to this Oh, I mean, and the baby yoga and ever, and all these kids are like, you now and my kid just gets in there and just wants that toy. And Bob said, Can the head and takes it. And you're supposed to sit there and watch, right? That's like the whole idea of a thing. Like you don't interfere with their their growth or their interaction during the group. And at some point, I was just looking at, I was like, Do you guys want me to get my kid because he's gonna hurt your kids. Like, this is not a principle that works for everyone. You know, but everyone thinks the thing that not everyone, there plenty of people have had multiple experiences, you know, the thing that they find that whatever methodology of parenting or schooling, works for them is the only way and it's hard for me to explain to them, like, my kid would have been kicked out of a Waldorf school and a week, you know, and, like, the French school. Like, wouldn't just already knew that we're going to kick them out. But we are going to kick them out. Yeah, you know. So it was about that journey for me. And, you know, as all my books are, and people find it hard to be written about not t he loves that book. Yeah. But he, you know, he knows, he knows what happened, you know, and he knows sort of my version of it. And he has his version of it. And he's really proud of the book. And so my No, and that was my goal. When I wrote it. I was like, This is a gift to my son. Yeah, you know, I'm talking about all this stuff, warts and all. But this is a gift to my son, ultimately, that, you know, the first, like, almost three years of his life are really pretty. You know, like, the major points are pretty well documented in that book. And I would hope that you know, that that that'll be special to him someday. Jovi's book coming, I'm like, No, I'm so done. Do you might get an essay, like second child syndrome Yeah. You just mentioned JB, how old? Is he idea? Yeah. So he, he came to you in a slightly different way was through. Right. So we adopted tea from Ethiopia when he was 11 months old. We thought, you know, Ethiopia would be a great choice again, because there's so much you know, it's a rich culturally, and he's really into it. And, you know, there were no more adoptions happening in Ethiopia at the time. I was just going over there and doing kind of grassroots work in communities and, and, and orphanages and stuff. So, I mean, that was best I could do like to be close to his culture, but we'd have to Jovie out of the foster care system here. DCFS. And we had really, we knew that the likelihood of black boys being adopted after the age of two, I mean, the likelihood of Blackboard is being adopted at all. But after the age of two, like it's almost nothing. Percentages are so low. And we had been through so much with T. And he was really kind of out the other side of it by then. I mean, he's still like struggling attention and stuff. But you know, he wasn't. I mean, now, like I said, you you would never guess. Yeah, yep. No, it was just like, I'm like, here's the perfect. Here's the perfect example. She the minute I open Christmas ornaments for the first time. And he looked at them, he just picked one. Just a ball looks like a ball rather than the wall. Oh, yeah. goes in like tiny shards, a really thin glass all over the living room. Yeah. Joe V, we adopted to DCFS because, like, we felt really moved by that. And also, we thought like, if not us, then who? I mean, really, we've been through so much. We have these resources. You know, like, we have resources for another child. And we have resources for, you know, therapy with like, no, the best therapists we have done all this training. And, um, and it was still so scary. Yeah. You really, really scary, like Skarner those, you know, we both have, we're both prayerful people. We don't often pray together. There have been only like a handful of times in our life. And we come from different traditions. So like, pray differently. But like after the first time, we met Jovi, and we realized he couldn't really talk. You know, like, half his mouth was all rotted out. I changed his diaper stone diapers. I mean, he was wearing a size two, us three and a half. Like, there was no hand soap in the house. He was getting the shit beat out of him by older kids. And it was really scary. You know, and we pulled the car over and just like, held hands and just prayed for guidance and and, you know, and sad sat there for a minute together. And he turned and looked to me and he said, you know, someone's gotta believe in someone's on time. Live Let's believe in this kid. It's making that's yeah. Oh, yeah. Such an asshole. Sometimes she really nails it like the times that he nails it, he nails it. One of them someone's gonna believe in someone sometime. And you know, and the first months with Jovi for us were like, we would just hold him while he screamed and scream and like, sweat was covering his body. Like he was so slick. Like, we were like, human hold on to him. And you know, who's screaming cry, he would lie under the bed. Like, I would just go and kind of lie next to the bed. Like, I'm just here. You know, we're gonna talk. Like you didn't even have any words. You didn't know a cow said Moo. Yeah, and 123 or ABC, you know? So not only is he in this totally unfamiliar environment doesn't understand why. Um, he only now barely understands why. Yeah, wrap his head around what happened? You know, the events life that led us here. And he's only just starting to ask. But yeah, it was like, I mean, he was always so funny. Yeah. So funny. And so adorable. I mean, all these are survival skills, you know, the same way like a big shining bright star. Um, and you know, in, in traumatic situations for children, they'll often get really big and now there'll be the one that gets the attention. Or the one that gets more food maybe or the one that you know. Yeah, yeah, so Jovi. I'm thinking it really started to turn around for us. Like three years ago, you know, we took him to, he got an autism diagnosis, we took him to a really specialized preschool that was almost like one on one. Yeah. And there were like, only five kids in the class. And you know, it was specifically for kids with autism. For the most part, you know, or symptoms presenting that way. And we had to attend with him for like, the first six months. I know. I know. Like, you are fucking with me right now. Like, I can't even drop this kid off at autism preschool. Like, what do you do here? Please, God, someone helped me. But it was amazing. It totally changed things. He did, you know, he matriculated in kinder, and we had a really supportive school, really supportive Public Charter School, who love the kids and aren't scared. They, they're not scared of a diagnosis. They're, they do IEPs, which are individualized education programs, if your kid needs, you know, because every kid is supposed to get the education they need. And so they do their own IPs. They have great people who work with Jovi and he plays a violin and he dances and he knows how to take breaks. And I mean, he is he's brilliant. He's working at and above grade level. Yeah, like you told me the other day like I don't want to be in this baby math class anymore. failing math class. School is not necessarily separated by grade all the time. Like they'll have like a b and c mat and and like they might have kids from different grades in like who are just at that level of math right. So I you know, I called the school I was like me, can we have a meeting because Joby feels like he's in the baby math class? And they're like, Joby, you are the youngest person in your class. You're not in the baby math class, and you're not ready for the next one. But what a what a miracle. Oh, yeah. It's, it's wonderful, isn't it? Yeah, I love soccer. He loves our animals. Yeah. And the trauma stuff, it's all there. No, and for both of them, it comes out. At different times, there are different triggers, like the job aids, a lot of medical stuff, hospitals, things like that. Like we had to take them to the hospital, he had a really high fever and hell get bronchial stuff. It changed the hospital recently, and that check blood and he for two days was like, a one year old. You know, if you progress you know, and so different things would trigger it. And it'll come popping up but I mean, I don't think about it every minute of every day anymore. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty cool. So it's I mean, you you've been through so much. And you know, I think it's like it's a credit to yourself and to Scott that, you know, you've got so much love to give your children and you know, like you said you've done certain training like you've learned how to assist them when they need it and it's just it's a joy like you're experiencing now. You know, the other side of it. It's wonderful Jovi when his soccer game, even though I had to pay I have six. You know, I'm just like, you're supposed to like it just being an all star team is just parent torture. Like I made all stars. Yay. Yeah, we have to do I have to like drive an hour 630 On a Sunday. But um, how old are your kids? So Alex, he's 14 and Digby seven. So if we ever get, but I can relate to the likes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. But yeah, degrees just started playing tennis and it's the first time we've had any either child play a Saturday morning sport. So we're like, geez, we did want to get out of it for this. Now. Now I do. Yeah. Got like, I pulled the curtains at six this morning. You know what Soccer League? is what I think about you cycling Yeah. Nik, I know you've you said before we started recording, you've been talking a lot about your serial killers and things. But I sort of without talking specifically too much about that. But I want to talk about how it's affected you as a mother. It's pretty full on. It has been, it has been really hard. And I can't say I feel like I have an answer for you. That worked. Yeah, no, I was totally successful. Because everyone in my family was affected by me working on that story. You know, and it happened like that, like at the very end of it. When everyone was like, like, this is like enough of this poison in our lives, even though the work I was doing was so amazing and wonderful and gratifying in terms of the victims. Like, I was talking on speakerphone to a serial killer every single day. And then COVID hit, and everyone's in the house all the time. Yeah. And so like, it's not that big of a house. I can know and it echoes and stuff and like, and they know who they know what I do. And they know who I'm talking to it. Like, I mean team more than Jovi, you know, but T asks and I answer and I say you know, this is like, disturbing. disturbs me. And I love that you're curious because like Alaska, how they solve the case or something. Like I love that you're curious. I love talking about this stuff. But like also do you want to talk about how it makes you feel? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mama dog bite out makes me feel that, you know, he's like, he's like junior detective. So like, he'll get into the, you know, is a really good linear critical thinker. So like, he'll get into the, like, the stories leads and stuff with me, but I'm really, you know, it, it affected the most, because I wasn't around the piece that involves a lot of traveling. And it was just also present involved like me working 12 to 14 hours a day. So I wasn't around. And I was like an on hyper vigilance. Getting these calls from a serial killer every day. Yeah. Um, and you know, which was both for audio content for the documentary and stuff, but it was mostly, you know, to have a record of the kind of details I was getting from him to give to law enforcement. Because like I work very closely with law enforcement during the scene. Um, little case, because like I had his year, you know? Or he had my year end in a case. Yeah. Um, so I wasn't around a lot. I was when I look back, I can see it more than I saw then that like, my anger was coming out. Yeah. You know, because it's like they can deal with sadness. And just like if if you're crying, they don't mommy cries like that. It's like a joke. Mommy cries, right. Like, like, if there's ever a scene in a movie that's sad. Like, like, I mean, don't even talk to me about Mallanna. Okay. Ana has like four huge crime moments like to and you get over him fast, but Mallanna. So they'll be like, are you crying and crying? But I think I was. I was angry. No. And that was coming out in a way that I am from New York, I'm sarcastic. i If you have dinner with my family, you are going to have to, like raise your decibel level to get heard. Um, you know, and like, we razz each other all the time. And it just, it's an East Coast thing. It's just it's just how my family is. Oh, do I know my biggest parenting tip? Yeah. You want to know how to get your kids to not swear? Swear all the time? Really? I mean it. Yeah. And brown who's also whose parenting counselor says the same thing. She has a really filthy mouth. You know, like, Fuck was every other word. My house. So you know, I'm like, sorry, Mommy's not gonna go changing and this is parents don't talk like that do they don't? You're listening to the art of being a mom was my mom, Alison Newman. Yeah, that's the thing is that like you? You talked about that anger. And I guess that's thing you're processing all your emotions that you're going through, and you're speaking to this man and finding out all these things and, and dealing with the families of, of people that he's harmed. And then you're trying to process that volume of it. Overwhelming. I mean, there were 93 confessions. Like it's hard enough to deal with one. That's just you can't fathom, like sort through this. I mean, I had 40 notebooks, it was glitzy making. And I think that, you know, what I didn't have was that tiny bit of extra space. Like, that was there for a really long time. That could always like make a beautiful dinner, you know, and just like reconnect, or sit and watch movie with Jovi or play cards or something. And like, you know, I wound up just like, shoveling soup into my mouth in front of the computer for you know, I mean, years. So we're just sort of trying to get a routine back here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I do want to sort of shine a light on the work that you've done. It didn't commend you for that. And thank you for that. Because it's such important work and obviously the families of the women would be incredibly grateful for the work that you've done. I mean, I I know that you know, I know them I mean, not, you know, there were a few victims into which I did a really deep dive, and then a few victims that I helped solve the cases. And when I saw it from top to bottom, I figured out it was in a different jurisdiction. Yeah. And, and with that, I was able to find some articles that look like they matched, and that I went to the place. And it was exactly what Sam described. And you know, and I was, and that was Alice. And I'm really close with Alice's family. They came to town, her sister came to town with her two nieces. You know, they, they took me out to lunch. And, you know, like, they said that until they realized, like, until I called them and told them, you know, and I do it very, very slowly, like, the Navier sisters come up in some of my research. You know, and would you like to know anything about it? And then I'll, you know, I'll give him a chance to say no, I don't want to hear that. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. It's not like you just bled all. Even with Debbie with Alice's sister. You know, she asked for a couple of days. And, and as a journalist, you're like, you know, you want to like you just have this instinct and this training to like, never walk away you walk away and give someone a couple days, then they're gonna decide not to talk to you. Yeah, that's right. Then if you let anyone think about it, they're gonna do it. She actually called me back and was like, okay, like I'm ready to talk about this I talked about with my kids talked about it with my husband. Like I'd like to hear everything you have I'm a member of the military and I'm have a very strong backbone and you know Tamera thing and and she's just remarkable and then Denise brothers, I went to Odessa, Texas just like drove there on my own and you know, and her family like welcomed me into their kitchen and showed me their pictures and love letters and you know Audrey Nelson's daughter and I do think that my kids understand that I mean, regardless of you know Sam little not being the last project of my life you know, we're gonna move on I will stay in this field continuing to find missing persons and you know just get it out there as much as I can and restore names to women who have been lost Yeah, good on you system etc. Yeah, I'm with you know, they're gonna they're gonna have to get behind. On that is it do you find that it's important that your children see you as more than a library air quotes is just mom because we're never just mom but that you're also contributing so much with your work that you're doing and your writing and your investigation. I imagine that their feelings about it are going to change over time. You know, Jovi will say things like you're always working mad like made me feel horrible. I don't know what they'll think and I don't think It's I think it's important that your kids see that you're leading a meaningful and engaged life. You know, there's no such thing as just mom. You know, if you're meaningful and engaged, and your primary you know, your primary activity is taking care of your children, you know, then I think that that would be wonderful and nurturing. And at the same time, that's not me. I was never gonna give up my career. You know? And, like, T asked me a few days ago, because I was like, Oh, over there baby pictures. I don't know why there was some out. Yeah. And there's, but we're both the cutest thing in the world. And, and, you know, of course, like all kids always want to hear about how cute they were when they're babies. And when the funny things they said, and they love their own mythologies. And he said, Well, you know, did you like it better? Or we got a new puppy. And he said, did you like better? Having a baby or having a teenager? And I said, How many teenager? Yeah, you know, and he was like, what? Like, how would you say like, I guess I was supposed to say, you know, I love him all like all those years. But I didn't. Like, I liked them. I mean, it's not like I liked them more. Now. I just liked my life more now. If they consider a restaurant, or I like our life as a family more now we went to a friend of mines been named spa the other day, and they were able to sit through the whole ceremony and I almost you could have knocked me over with a feather. Yeah. And and they're both like, into their things. And they're super interesting. And like, I don't have to, you know, be the party clown all day. My mother never understood, like, this parenting generation at all. She was like, What are you doing? What are you talking about? Because I was like, No, I gotta go this group and that group in this group in that group. She's like, can you just give them a choo choo? And like, put them in a play pen? What? Go home at Virginia slam and have a bottle of red wine which is just like your own nuts. You don't? Then but then again, you know, I did go and walk the route that I used to walk to school. Last time I was home and I was like, trying to get me killed. Seriously, that is a lonely path through a dark wood. Oh, no joke. It's got to be something in between, you know, but yeah, that battle, you know, now now that they're into their own things. I mean, of course, you know, I love babies and love baby smell. I love other people's babies. I love my grandbabies. Hopefully one day. But that's nice. I tell them the truth. And it was like, Oh, you're so horrible. I could do say that. Like, personnel and I really like you. Yeah. And see, that's the thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with being honest with your children. Like, you know, we don't have to sugarcoat everything and make, you know, pleat. People please another night just can be honest with them and life's great now, you know, like, you'd be happy about that. I think that, you know, at the same time, I like to try and be conscious of, you know, I mean, maybe like the totally honest me is, is not to me, my kids need Yeah, like Vanita mitigated me, like so does everybody know I'm on to me, like full force. But, you know, they definitely bring like a consciousness to how I talk, you know, and, like, I know, I know that when I do it right. And don't like, you know, shames Graeme, all that stuff. When I do it right, and like, you know, have a conversation. I mean, there have been times like it actually worked recently. Yeah. Like, you're gonna have to learn to put your clothes away. Like, I'm not like I will, they will sit here in a pile until you do like you want to go to the Navy. By the way, get up and do some push up. Yeah. Oh, close away. So yeah, that sounds very similar to my son, he's wants to be in the army but never makes his bed fixed. Like, hang on a sec, that's not gonna cut it. You know, I, I think that he's been starting to be able to hear it. Like thinking about his future a little bit. That's been the biggest difference this year. He's 14, you know? And I've been like, Listen, I need you to hear me because you're like college, this in college, that when I'm in college, and I was like, colleges doesn't happen magically. Um, and we can't pay for a private college for two children for four years. Like, who can't who can't write. So I was like, we're gonna have to think creatively. You know, I don't want you in debt for the rest of your life, either. You know, so let's start to really think about this, you know, what scores do you need to get into what schools and and then you know, and all he wants airplanes, airplanes, air. And just like one day, I was like, What about the Air Force Academy? And he was just like, Huh. Like I was doing for ROTC program, which is like, where they start doing, like some military training when they're still in high school. Like, Yeah, boy scouts, but soldiers. Yeah, right. Yeah. And he was like, Huh. So then he got on to that. And then, you know, I started finding out about the Navy pilots, Annapolis, and then, you know, we worked up going to and we called my friend who was a pilot. And, and he said, you know, is there such a thing? Is there really such a thing as Top Gun? And my friend was like, There absolutely is. It's not called that. It's called, like, the flight defense superveloce Law, some stupid thing, like somebody in Hollywood camp, a Top Gun. But it isn't an absolutely real thing. And he said, but you're not going to get into it. It's like, the top 1% of fliers in the country. And, you know, it's like getting into Harvard, or like, you know, becoming president or something. Like, it's not quite that hard, but, you know, is, but it's like getting into Harvard. It's like, yeah, and, you know, the, the likelihood is, you won't get it. And you said, okay, you know, and they talked more and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, we were just talking I was like, so how does that make you feel? You know, when he says it's impossible? And he was like, um, I don't know. I was like, because when someone tells me something's impossible, it kind of makes me feel like proving them wrong. And I just watched his eyes light up. And oh, no, this one my friends. It's like pitching for the Dodgers. Right? Or like joining the NBA. Ya know, and I was like, you know, what, you you're 14. We know you're not pitching for the Dodgers. Sorry. You're not You're very good pitcher. But you're not pitching for the Dodgers. You know, and you're not in MBA either. That's not going to happen. I was like, but we don't know. What if you're, if you are going to be in the NBA of fliers. Pilots like you very well could be like the the amount of time he puts in on the flight simulator. And I was like, so. I mean, we could have a lot of different plans. But if that's what you want to do, let's go for it. You know, Oh yeah, that's awesome. It's so fun, you know, and then to have them be like, Yeah, I'm gonna be the Dodger pitchers of combat pilot. Good on him. So, it's really thrilling. It's really fun. I try not to get like, too excited though or like, show it about anything they're into. You know, because moms are not cool by their nature. Don't embarrass them. You tell me what you think, like this generation of kids are really different from me, like when my parents were 35 they were old people. Like they were total grownups. You know, who like stockbroker housewife, dinner parties, grownups and kids were like, you know, listen through from the upstairs. Um, and, like, and, and there was this combativeness between, you know, like, you make yourself like Adley and punk rock clothes are listening to punk rock music, or my parents really a hidden problem with that, like, why? Yeah, it seems like such such a tiny thing to sacrifice a relationship with your child for, um, but they were just raised by different people. But like, our friends, our group of friends and our kids, like, all hang out together. Yeah, it's definitely different. Like, I remember the same thing like Mum and Dad would have, they had, we had a passage door that sort of divided the living area and the bedrooms. And that whenever we went to bed that would always be shut, and we'd hear the, they'd be out there with their friends. And we could We'd sneak to the door and listen, you know, it's just, I feel like, like, us, our, our parenting styles have changed so much that we include our children in so much more now. And I think that also allows us to, I don't know, I don't wanna say not grow up, because we, you know, we physically grow up, but we were still ourselves. We don't have to take on this role of the big serious parents that you know, blah, blah, blah. You know, and that's also not me. You know, like, I mean, you know, entail I was doing some really serious journalism and traveling, like, the Deep South and stuff, and I took my hair back now, I had blue hair till just a few years ago. And man T would like be on the road and get our hair done together and matching blue hair. And it was just like, you know, how fun and also like, we don't listen to all that much different music than they do. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we're into superhero movies. I love Star Wars. So was his number one. Yeah. And that's driven by me. We are Marvel Universe here. Yeah. Yeah. All about Marvel. Yeah. We are like we already have tickets for Black Panther opening. Yeah, it's like, we're not that. I mean, now you know, T likes to just talk to his friends on the phone. Actually, one of his friends is going to show up any minute. But um, nice talk to his friends, you know, and just on his iPads I mean, he could do it all day long. So it's not like he wants to hang around us all the time. But like, we had a couple of nerf wars lately. Yeah. And you're my husband is veteran and a lot of our friends are also veterans. So they are extraordinarily serious about like, organizing the teams and you had to like each have a little, you know, space and you gotta go get the flag and get back and if you get hit twice, whatever. Yeah, um, you know, but like, they wanted the parents to play. Yeah. Last the last birthday party. We went to parents played kids in kickball. Yep. And great. Yeah. It's like, you know, like, parents versus kids. Like, I don't think. I mean, when I was 14, are you kidding? Like, yeah, it'd be just no way. Hey, we hated them. And we they wouldn't play kickball. Are you kidding? We're like busy smoking at the mall. Yeah, it's good. It's great. I'm so pleased. Like, I feel like I've got a really good relationship with my 14 year old like he, you know, we're very close. And it's really good. And I hope it stays that way. As he gets out of me, it goes up and down. You know, my 14 year old and I've always, we're both stubborn. And we've come to blows for sure. I'm not actual blows. But yeah. You know, we like to say lock horns. Yeah. And so, you know, it's been kind of up and down. But right now, I'm just enjoying them a lot. Yeah. So it's kind of them and they're trying, you know, we've been just sort of talking about how, you know, we all need help. And they're old enough now. To like, participate, you know, their babies, like, they don't need to be taken care of every single second of every day. And, you know, and that we're all participating in this house in this life. And we have to, like, act politely toward each other. And you know, not have to be asked seven times to put on your shoes or to go to bed or to like, it's just it's time for that all to stop now. Yeah. I can relate to that so much. Yeah. And put in the laundry away. And, you know, it's just yeah. And like we took Jovi to soccer game this morning and left to home alone. Yep. And I was just like, one. And Scott was like, He's 14. He's fine. He'll wake up, make his breakfast. He knows where we're going. You know, back in two hours. Yeah. And I was like, oh my god, I guess I was babysitting when I was 12. Yeah, right. Yeah. You know, so I think they're like, the kids are kind of younger now too. Yeah. I mean, little group and this little school. Very thankful for. Yeah. I told you that I I left home and went to college when I was 16. I did. And, and he's like, that doesn't sound like a very good idea. Oh, man, I was like, You know what, you are exactly correct. That was not a very good. I know, he said, Where was it? And I was like, it's it was in New York. It was in in Greenwich Village in New York. And he was like, you were living in New York when you were 16 That doesn't sound like a very good idea. Oh. And I was like, Yeah, you know why? Because then I told him I sneak out of the house and take the bus into New York. I was like, you don't have to do that you like you're like I'm gonna go to a concert dad gets on the phone with his manager. You know, obviously if you guys have a box you know, I You really don't have any reason to get out of the house. Yeah. on that, but I can't let you go without mentioning. You've mentioned Scott a few times and his connection to music, that he's the bass player for Weezer, and full disclosure, I'm a massive what he's a fan. I've got my little ways of paying for the fair club. And I've seen him sing them twice. They've come to Australia a couple of times, but my, I've got to share with you my funniest Weezer story was when they first came out, I think it was 96 or 97. And I just started going out with, like, my husband, obviously, we weren't married then. And we were playing in Adelaide, which is five hours drive from here. And I said to him, I really want to go see this band. And my favorite band, like this sweater song was out. It was blue Album Era. And he said, Ah, you know, if they're big band, they'll they'll come back again soon, you know, we'll go next time, you know. Anyway, 14 years later, I waited 14 years to see them play in Melbourne, and I'm lying. Now I just got to the same thing that they hadn't been to us ever wanted to go so badly. And it was actually, like, one of the times that he was like, you know, I'd like to stay here a little longer. Like, there's some beach. That's supposed to be like, really cool. Is this Sydney? Or like Bondi Beach in Sydney? Maybe? Yeah, yeah, that sounds right. Yeah. And he's like, I just want to go like, stay there for apps like do, please. You know, but it was like, too long of a flight for tea at that time. Yeah. Everywhere. Yeah. So I was gonna say I saw on your socials that he went on the last tour. With the band. Yeah. It's so great to juvie. Yeah, and it's perfect. Kind of for now. You know, like, I can go and fly to the shows in like, major cities that we want to see. Or, like, I have my own career. I've taken two kids on tour. Bus Tour, like three times, like, months of living on a bus. As just like, I'm gonna, like put out a shingle and start telling fortunes or something like, I I can't do this anymore. You've done the hard work. Laughing like, you've been less schlepping now because they're old. But the schlepping of the baby crap. Yeah, yes. It's like That's the worst part. Yeah, that's why I hate the beach. Yeah, there's so much stuff. There is so much stuff. Yeah, I can relate to that. Yeah, then like, you know, you've to date the car seat. The car Student Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah, there's so much to consider last you are new mothers out there. That's something I don't miss. I'll tell you. Neither, but then, you know, I look at the baby pictures. And I go. I'm a monster. About these angels. Yeah. Look, I'll thank you so much for coming on. Julian. It's been such a pleasure chatting with you. And you too, and we'd be happy to be in touch again. Oh, thank you. And just before you go, do you want to share is it you've got to your books coming out my book, Behold, the monster is coming out another thing next July. Um, and there is also a documentary called confronting a serial killer that's streaming on most major networks right now. That's about me. Like it's limited, you know, five one hour episodes directed by Joe burrow injure and it's just about my relationship with Sam and and solving some of the cases. And super excited for the book. I'll be around talking a lot about crime. And strangely enough, you know, even moms have interests beyond macaroni collages Yes. We were true crime fans. Um, we're just like this part is relaxing. Are you getting turned on the DOM or documentary? You know, my website, Julian lauren.com. You can find everything there. I'm on Instagram actually and Lauren I'm on Tik Tok. Don't even ask. They talked me into it. It's kind of fun. It's really fun. Yeah, I haven't gotten you don't you have to do this mom. Like you have to do this. Or you're just not anything. Get with the time. Not going anywhere. Mom's ticked off. Anyway, good. Just Julie and lauren.com. Everything's there and preorder the books. Great. Yay. Thank you so much, and all the best and yeah, I'd love to chat again one day and yeah, keep doing what you're doing and and say hi to Scott for me. Yes, and go see Weezer. It's great. Thanks for your company today. If you've enjoyed this episode, I'd love for you to consider leaving us a review, following or subscribing to the podcast, or even sharing it with a friend who you think might be interested. If you or someone you know would like to be a guest on the podcast. Please get in touch with us via the link in the show notes. I'll catch you again next week for another chat with a Nazi stick mum

Mezz Coleman Australian indie musician S2 Ep48 Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts (itunes) Spotify + Google podcasts Welcome! My guest today is Melbourne songstress, songwriter + vocal coach Mezz Coleman, mum of 2 children, aged 16 and 11. Mezz grew up with music all around her. Her parents took a leap of faith and began a music therapy business, her siblings played as did her friends. It was so normal to see people make a living from music. Having been immersed in it from a young age, it was quite organic that Mezz would spend her life making music. She began playing the piano from a young age, dabbled in the flute and guitar. Straight out of high school Mezz went to Uni to study a jazz improv course. Her son was born in her final year of Uni, so Mezz has never experienced her music career without having children. Mezz has released 3 studio albums, Parts of You, Parts of Me in 2010 , Words in 2015 and a Christmas Album in 2015 . Mezz is currently recording her third studio album, a chamber indie-pop record, produced by Rohan Sforcina (Oh Mercy, Kate Miller Heidke, Ali Barter, Ferla) Adored by folk festival audiences around the country and celebrated as “a musical treasure” ( Bendigo Blues & Roots Festival ), Mezz has a unique ability to conjure worlds, transporting audiences with her powerful vocals and straight-to-the-heart lyrics. Her career has seen her appear on national television on Carols by Candlelight , and open for the likes of Kimbra, multi-award-winning songwriter Sara Storer and iconic Australian artist Shane Howard (Goanna). When she’s not performing her own material, Mezz’s experience as a backing vocalist and session vocalist, has given her the opportunity to work with many international and national artists including Nana Mouskouri, Brian McFadden, Marcia Hines, Delta Goodrem, Barry Humphries, John Foreman and the Melbourne Gospel Choir. In 2021 Mezz toured as backing vocalist and keyboard player for The Marrollo Project’s “Uninvited: The Songs of Alanis Morissette” . Mezz website / music / linktree Podcast - instagram / website Music heard on todays podcast is from Mezz, used with permission When chatting to my guests I greatly appreciate their openness and honestly in sharing their stories. If at any stage their information is found to be incorrect, the podcast bears no responsibility for guests' inaccuracies. Podcast transcript at the bottom of the page Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of The Art of Being A Mum Podcast. I'm beyond honoured that you're here and would be grateful if you could take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star review in iTunes or wherever you are listening. It really helps! This way together we can inspire, connect and bring in to the light even more stories from creative mums. Want to connect? Take a screenshot of this episode and share it on Instagram tagging me in with @art_of_being_a_mum_podcast I can't wait to connect. And remember if you or somebody you know would like to be a guest on the podcast, get in touch ! I love meeting and chatting to mammas from all creative backgrounds, from all around the world! Thank you! Alison acknowledges this Land of the Berrin (Mount Gambier) Region as the Traditional Lands of the Bungandidj People and acknowledge these First Nations people as the custodians of the Region. Ch eck out more episodes ..... Welcome to the Art of Being a mum, the podcast. It's a platform for mothers who are artists and creatives to share the joys and issues they've encountered. While continuing to make art. Regular themes we explore include the day to day juggler, how mothers work is influenced by their children. Mum guilt, how moms give themselves time to create within the role of mothering and the value that mothers and others place on their artistic selves. My name's Alison Newman. I'm a singer, songwriter, and a mom of two boys from regional South Australia. You can find links to my guests and topics we discussed in the show notes. Together with music played, how to get in touch, and a link to join our lively and supportive community on Instagram. The art of being a mum acknowledges the Bandik people as the traditional owners of the land, which his podcast is recorded on. Welcome to the podcast. It is really great to have you here. My guest today is Melbourne songstress, songwriter and vocal coach, Mezz Coleman, who's also amother of two children aged 16 and 11. Mezz grew up with music all around her, her parents took a leap of faith and began a music therapy business her siblings played as did her friends. It was so normal to see people make a living from music. Having been immersed in it from a young age. It was quite organic that Ms would spend her life making music. She began playing the piano from a young age, dabbled in the flute and guitar. straight out of high school Mezz. went to uni to study a jazz improv and her son was born in her final year of uni. So Ms has never experienced her music career without having children. Ms has released three studio albums, parts of you parts of me in 2010 words in 2015 and a Christmas album also in 2015. Mercy is currently recording a chamber indie pop record, adored by Folk Festival audiences around the country and celebrate it as a musical treasure. By the Bendigo blues and Roots Festival. Mays has a unique ability to conjure words, transporting audiences with her powerful vocals and straight to the heart lyrics. Her career has seen her appear on national television on carols by candlelight. And I prefer the likes of Kimbra multi award winning songwriter Sarah Stora and iconic Australian artists Shane house of Goanna fame when she's not performing her own material mess his experience as a backing vocalist and session vocalist has given her the opportunity to work with many international and Australian artists such as Nana Maskuri, Brian McFadden, Marcia Hines, Delta Goodrem, Barry Humphries, John Foreman and the Melbourne gospel choir in 2021. Mears tour is backing vocalist and keyboard player for uninviting the songs of Alannis Morissette. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. And thanks for your continued support. Welcome to the podcast today, mares. It's a real pleasure to have you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's so nice to meet you. Yeah, it's nice to be able to chat to you because I've been following you for a while after I sort of connected with Georgia through the Motherlode, Georgia fields, and then I saw that you were a guest on there. So I was like, oh, because I'm a musician. So I like to follow people that I can connect with in that way. So yeah. love watching you. You're playing the piano and singing the songs. Yeah, well, yeah. And it's amazing. What Georgia has set up with the mother lode. And it's like, extra special for me, because, um, I've actually known her for a really long time. We're at the same high school together. Yeah. And it's not like we've, you know, hung out throughout all the years, but we've actually known each other for ages and to just see what she's building there. That community for mother musicians. Yeah, amazing. It is. It's so it's so valuable. And it's one of those things that like, there is no rulebook of what to do. It's like you learn from each other and trip over on the way but then you sort of go, oh, I can learn from that. Or I can Yeah, take that on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you're, you're a musician, singer and a songwriter. When did you first become interested in music? I think in many ways, I was quite lucky. I have a very musical family. So my parents It's so funny, this is a story that I've only really recently realized is quite amazing, because when it's just your normal life, you don't really think about it. But when my mum was a stay at home mum for a long time, but you know, loved singing, and my dad worked, I think, a fairly uninspiring office job somewhere. And then when we were sort of when me my brothers were sort of like, early teen years. My father's whole office got retrenched. And so he was looking for other work. And I think it was, you know, a little bit disheartening. And then just on this sort of, like, it's sort of, I think it hit him and my mum at the same time, like, we love playing music together, we should do something with this. Oh, and they ended up like, for 1015 years, like, I think they really stopped doing it maybe five or six years ago. So maybe even longer. They actually built a business playing music together. So my dad would play guitar, my mom would sing. And I guess you would say they were like music therapists, they would go into a lot of aged care places, senior citizen places, maybe I'm not sure, maybe hospitals as well, I might be wrong about that. And they would sing for people, and they would and people would join in, and they would like do the songs that would you know, maybe trigger a lot of memories for older people. And so I grew up just thinking it was totally normal to make a living, playing music. That is awesome. Yeah. And when I say totally normal, like, it was tight, sometimes, you know, like, they'd have good weeks, and then then have not such good weeks in terms of, you know, financial, so, but yeah, like I just sort of learnt from an early age that you can play music and make a living from it, and also makes such a big difference in the world with that, I think that's the other thing that they were doing was it was so much more than being like, perfect, or technically brilliant. It was about like sharing a real gift with people. And so I sort of grew up with that idea. And then on top of that, I was really lucky that both of my brothers are quite musical. So we would often just jam together and play together. And then when I went off to high school, a lot of my friends were musical and musicians. And I don't know, I I feel almost like spoiled now that I've met other people who haven't had that experience and really had to fight to kind of play music, even in terms of like, sort of going against maybe what their families, you know, would like them to do and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, very lucky that musics just been around me, and I've been immersed in it. And if anything, I probably just came to it because there wasn't much else I could do. I'm just like, quite good at this. I'm not quite not very good at much else. So. Yeah, sort of how I'm sort of, yeah, found music. It was very organic. Yeah, that is such an awesome story. I love that so much. It was so normal for us that I thought nothing of it. And if anything, I just shrugged my shot I did. And it's only been in the last year or two. That's amazing. That's a really amazing and inspiring thing to see your parents go off and do. Yeah, and that thing to that, you know, in them. I'm not sure exactly how old they were, but just say, midlife they've gone, I'm gonna totally change my career, I'm gonna take this, maybe take a risk, you know, financially, it's like, let's do this, just do something that we love. And that is so inspiring is fine. Yeah, they would have been a fair bit older than I am now. And so to think that there's, I think sometimes as an artist, and maybe especially as a female artist, I'm not sure about that. Maybe I should talk to my male friends and see if they feel the same way that you can feel like time is running out. And that clock is ticking. And oh, shit. Um, you know, I'm turning 40 Soon, and I haven't done the things I wanted to do, or a bit of probably not the same thing when I was like, in my late 20s, about turning 30. And, actually, yeah, to sort of go up, I've got plenty of time. Yes. Sort of, like, try other things. And yeah, and get this stuff done that I want to get done. You know, it's really helped me not feel like there's this mad rush. Yeah, it's really, it's almost like an empowerment that you can take the pressure off yourself. And I can sort of relate this to the kids like my son's in high school, and they start sort of on their paths of what they're going to do when they leave school. And so I keep saying to him, like I was what was I foot nearly 40 When I finally found the job that I loved, you know, you don't have to know straight away, or they do they put so much pressure on these like 1617 year olds to make these, you know, really important decisions to pick a perfect subject and your whole life will depend on it. And I just, yeah, say the same thing to my son. I'm like, whatever. You just work, you know, just do whatever you like, you know, whatever you're doing at the time, try and do your best but it's not this sort of Yeah, it's not a life or death situation. That's it, isn't it? Time to explore the world and yourself. Yeah, that's it, isn't it? You actually have to get out in the world and see how you feel in the world. And absolutely, maybe what are the things you enjoy? Right, I'm gonna leave school and go to uni and I'm gonna drop and that's it your whole life Smackdown was like, that's just so unreasonable, unreasonable and like the stories you know, just like friend after friend after friend who went and started a uni course. And within a year had gone this is so not for me. So like, you know, there's yeah, there's just no rush. It's a really nice Yeah, absolutely. Gosh. Being exposed to the music with your parents, did you start playing particular instruments? At that point? What were you playing? Yeah. So again, when I was quite young, there was this. I just feel so lucky for these rich experiences that I totally took for granted as a child, but there was a woman in my neighborhood who was she played piano? Like, I think back in Dancehall, dancehalls, back in the day, and so she just like, as a very local little business, just all the little kids in the area would go to her house and learn the piano. And you'd get your lowly and you learn your scales, and you'd go through your books, but the thing about her that really set her apart is like she was, you know, I thought of her I think she was you know, quite, she wasn't old, she's still with us. So she's not like that, you know, she was quite a lot older than say, like my parents at the time. And she was so different to so many, like, sort of music teachers in that it didn't take her long to work out that my heart wasn't in all the technical stuff. And also that, you know, I like to sing. So from a really young age, she kind of worked that out. And she was like, Well, I'm going to teach you how to like play chords and accompany yourself, and I'm going to teach you how to improvise. And like, you know, we're not just going to play fair release. And the entertainer and I did do a bit of this wonderful piano teacher who like really picked up early that I wanted to learn that kind of stuff. Maybe even before I knew that, that's what I wanted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I've played the piano forever and, and have learnt piano in a way where I've been able to accompany myself to sing since I was practically a kid. And so that's always been a part from my voice. I'm a singer first, but piano would be my secondary instrument. And that's generally the instrument that I write with. And when I'm writing music, and then, you know, just in those sort of primary school and high school years, I dabbled in the flute. And I wasn't bad at it, but my heart wasn't in it. So yeah, yeah. Yeah. The guitar. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there's always time. I love that. That story about your music teacher that that is such a gift for her to give you because so many music teachers, it's like theory. You know, like I, I, my experience was with teachers that basically you had to learn your scales yet to know what all the notes were called, and how long you held them for. And I just wanted to play stuff by ear. And it was like, really, like, my, my teacher wasn't as amazing as yours. But I think back now, like, I would have loved to have just learned how to accompany myself, that would have been amazing. Well, she was yeah, she was quite an amazing woman. And actually, a few years ago, I felt really compelled to reach out and thank her and I wrote her this letter, just like, Oh, my God, you're amazing. Thank you. And I got this beautiful letter back. And I think she'd be in her like late 80s by now. The funny thing is, though, when she was teaching me what I think she must have been quite brilliant. Because while she kind of adapted the lessons to suit me and my needs, she somehow was sneaking that theory. And I actually have got a fairly good, you know, theoretical foundation, but really kind of managed to do it in a way where it was helpful or making sense to the end. Yeah, relative to what you wanted to do with your music like, yeah, she's, yeah, she whatever she was, she was working her magic. That's for sure. What a gem of a woman honestly. That's honestly, we should all have a lady like that in our lights. Just be amazing. Marge Williams is her name. Good. Good on your Marge. Give her a shout out. I wish I had met Marge when I was when I was a little girl. That would have been amazing. Yeah. So the game All right. at the moment with your music is your music your life? That's what you do you. Yeah. So, in a roundabout way, I've managed to get to a point in my life where I can sort of comfortably say that I make my living as a musician. But like, realistically, that, Oh, quite a fair percentage of that living is coming from being like, like working in the teaching field, as well as performing and recording and all of those things. I'm really fortunate to have quite a good teaching job at a university here in Melbourne, where I teach mostly singing, like a one on one singing lessons to the students that come through. But I also help, you know, work with bands, and, you know, mentor some of that, you know, mentor the students through some of those processes and classes. And then on top of that, yeah, my, so, artistically, the thing that I'm most passionate about, and I'm always working towards, sometimes slowly, but is my own music that I write. And that I really, yeah, I pour a lot of myself into. And then I guess the other thing, and obviously, work has been quite quiet in the last couple of years due to COVID. But as a singer, like, as a vocalist, I can Yeah, I often work in that field, I guess for other people. So doing session work in studios for like, people that need a, you know, a vocal line on this particular track, or a harmony or a demo and, and working as a backing vocalist for other artists as well. So through or So like most, I think, not just me, I think like most artists, you generally you don't have like that sort of nine to five, steady job, you just you have your fingers in all of the pies, and you kind of slowly build whatever it is that you're building that way, which in some ways is kind of stressful, because you can't remember what do I do on Wednesday. And, you know, there can be dips financially, of course, especially when we're in COVID. But even before that, to be honest, but I also know I wasn't built for a nine to five job. So in many ways, it's thrilling to be doing a few different things. And I get quite excited when I'm looking in my diary and I'm like, Oh, I've been booked for that session next week cool, like different people different kinds of environments. So yeah, yeah. Without the teaching work It'd be impossible Yeah, yeah. But yeah, that you but you're still so involved in music like it's not like it doesn't probably doesn't feel like a real autonomous a real job because it is a real job but you know, you're you're really enjoying what you're doing. Absolutely. I there are things about teaching that can be quite draining and you know, because I put a lot of myself into it. But there are also like yeah, I'm still like I'm surrounded by music every day many of my students inspire me I work I have amazing peers so like other teachers that I work with they're all musicians so I'm sort of like spending time in that world still yeah work yeah sounds awesome yeah day and God fashion keep it to myself most days I struggle to this crew good. Kids my thing carefree was counting on. But it's a bit of an intro into your children. I came into what were you doing at the time when you had your children? Oh, goodness, okay, so I have, my son is almost 16. And my daughter is 11. And my son in particular came along in a very interesting time. I was studying music at university. So I went straight out of high school into a music course that I studied is like a jazz kind of improv course, which was interesting. And in that final semester, of the entire course, I discovered I was pregnant. And that was quite intense. Because I was trying to like, sort of start this music, career, whatever that is. The same time, I suddenly had this, like, human being that was like, gonna need my care. So I had him when I was 21. So nearly my, so my entire music career really has coincided with raising a child, which has been, which has had some real positives, and has also obviously presented quite a few challenges. Yeah, he's sort of been with me every step of the way. And, yeah, it's been. Yeah, overall, it's been a really great thing. And yeah, I guess the main, the main thing that I now know, looking back, not that I would change a thing, but I never really got those years prior to kids to build something up first. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, you know, like my 20s. You know, for instance, I didn't spend my 20s being able to just say yes to every opportunity, or like, just be like, yes, we'd all go on that tour. See, everyone, I had to be from sort of day one, I never stopped, like, I always like, you know, I released an EP not long after he was born, which, kind of like, Oh, my God, how did I do that. However, I probably never had quite the capacity to take things as far as I would have liked. Because like, the child comes first. Like, that's the reality. And so like, my music always played, like a really close second to my number one priority, which was, you know, raising this beautiful boy. So. Yeah, that's, that's just how that's just how it has been for me, like music and parenting have always had to coexist. I don't remember ever. Yeah, obviously, like, I've got an amazing partner. We've been together for a long time. And so I've never had to do it all alone, which is great. But like just little things, like, I don't know what it's like to book a gig without also going, who's gonna watch the kids? I actually never had that experience. It's always been those two things happening at the same time. So yeah, it's a unique perspective, isn't it? It's a little different. Yeah, and I can definitely see how it would have its positives. It does. Yeah, there have definitely been positive. So the positive that I'm feeling now and the so like, you know, the positive place that I find myself in now, is I'm currently at a place with an 11 year old and an almost 16 year old who are pretty independent. And I now have this time and space and energy to be really going for it. And so where a lot of my friends who like have done a lot of their now maybe like they've got toddlers, or they've just had a baby. And so well, while a lot of my peers are probably like slowing down a little bit, which is so fine. They should, they've got kids that need that care. I'm at a place now where I'm really like, much more sort of time rich, and kind of really go for it. And the fact is, I think my music is better now than it was when I was 2122 23. So I could have you know, the energy and the time that I could have poured into my art back then I'm sure it would have been great. But actually, I think the work I'm making is better now with maturity. And now I have this energy also to kind of Yeah, kind of play with I guess. I think the other thing that helps sort of having children along pretty much from the beginning is you. You tend to I don't want to say you use your time well, because people who know me would know that I'm not great at that. But I guess like as in I'm a terrible planner, and I can, you know, procrastinate like anybody's business. But I guess the thing that I do know when you know if you've got to babysitter, and you need to be, you know, so you've aren't, hey, I've got a rehearsal. And I've asked someone to watch the kids till you know, this time, you don't just wander into that rehearsal and blah, blah, blah and wait, like, so you have shorter pockets of time. And so you bloody well use them properly. And so what I found is like, yeah, like, so? Yeah, you it's almost like you get these pockets of time, you don't have just like this rich expanse, expensive time just before you when you can do whatever you want. And slowly, you know, kind of work on songwriting, or rehearsal or recording session, like, sometimes your time is limited, generally, always, to be honest. And as a result, you get quite good at working pretty fast. If I'm honest. Like, yeah, I'm pretty good at getting in and out of the studio, like, position work. And I reckon, part of that has just been through experience where I'm like, Well, I've got to leave it midday. So I think I've got that skill where I can be a little bit like, when I really have to focus on time, creatively, I can kind of just get it done. Same with songwriting, like I really, I mean, I don't, I'm not a prolific songwriter, like, I don't write heaps. But I do feel like when I'm like, Okay, I've got this time, I've got this energy and like, say, when the kids were younger, you know, the kids are occupied, or away or whatever, and I've got these few hours, I would generally walk out of there with a song or two, because it was like, I have to, really, ya know, so that kind of time pressure can work. to your advantage. Also, there's the flip side to that, where the time pressure can be a massive disadvantage in terms of just not having the space and the time that you would want to give to your art. Yeah, so there's like the payoff of that as well. But I think yeah, really fast. Yeah, yeah. It's it's instilled those skills in you and then you can you can take that through the rest of your life really. Because you just want to be. conscious. You mentioned because you had your son, like, you've never known your career without your son. What was that like then for you being in that world with other musicians, other women who weren't mums yet? Was that how did that feel for you being in that environment? Yeah. So there were, again, musicians, like, especially female musicians, are just beautiful people. And so while I was, for a long time, the only one in my peer group with a child, you know, I used to, like I'm thinking back two years ago, like a long time ago, when he was quite little. And I was actually in this singing group with three other singers. And one of them has gone on to just be absolutely amazing. I'm sure you've heard of it. Ainsley wills. She's like, the best. Anyway, and I remember, I would just take the baby to rehearsals, and they were so lovely. They would like hold him that because it was so cute. Get a lot of like that kind of, oh, we'll hold him and we'll look after him and using that. And so I remember back in the day, actually having a lot of support in the moment, like the other musicians were absolutely amazing. I had an I had a band at the time, and we would rehearse weekly and sometimes I just have to bring, you know, my top baby or toddler with me, and you know, and actually everyone else in that band would dudes. Yeah, some of them were my brothers. So they were like uncles to the to the baby. But you know, our guitarist wasn't and I don't know, he could have just been like, this is crap. I'm, you know, I didn't sign up to kind of come to the studio and keep climbing all over my face, so generous and so kind about it. And so musicians in general, were pretty lovely, and pretty welcoming. I think where it became a challenge was more than just the industry wasn't set up for it. So while individuals within the industry were like, so beautiful, so kind, really found Yeah, the whole situation, I'm sure they were all a bit like, Oh my God, but you know, they were like, is like, our friends got a baby. It's so weird, but um, yeah, everyone was lovely. But it was more when it came to things like geeks and knights and just being like, we can't bring him here, you know, it's dirty, there's no way to breastfeed or change a nappy. You know, I really found that within Melbourne, like, where I live, I was very active in the music scene, and, you know, still am. But if I've never really felt I had the capacity. I know, some parents do. And I'm just like, wow, they're amazing, but I never really felt like I had the capacity to tour. So I've never really even even now like, have never really too much. Or like, sort of been able to spread further than that, because I just didn't feel like there was much space or capacity there to like, take him with me, or, you know, the alternative, I guess would be to leave him for long stretches of time, which again, like, I've thrown no shade on parents who can do that. Like it's just each to their own. Just with, I guess, my parenting style and his personality and needs. That actually didn't feel like an option either. Where I could sort of almost be like, Alright, you're staying at Nando's for two weeks, I'm off. That was just, that was just not a way that we could do things for him. So yeah, I don't know if that answers your question. But like, no, yeah, other women and like my peers, my friends. They were so lovely. It was actually divine, like the way they kind of embraced this little baby and toddler who was sometimes at rehearsals, and sometimes it gigs. And, you know, even though none of them had kids, so they'll probably all a bit like, I don't know what to do, but they would hold him or Yeah, you know. But it was more yet the industry as a general kind of beast, I guess. Yeah, my, my, my place there felt a little. I don't know, where Be quiet anymore. Yeah. I'm going off track slightly. But do you think that is because it's mainly a male dominated industry? Or has been in the past? Yeah, I think so. Totally. And I think it's changing. And I think that's really exciting. Yeah, like men, you know, historically, can have kids, and still go off and do their own thing, you know. And, yeah, I think that's definitely, you know, how the world works, too. This is not just the music scene, it's the patriarchy and action. But I do feel like it's changing, I just think the changes are slow. And I think it's different. Now I see friends who sort of musician friends with babies now. And I think that the capacity that they have, and the understanding that they have from other people, I think, is better than probably I had at the time. Also, I've gotta remember, I was very young, I wasn't hugely educated. And so I probably didn't have the capacity personally to like, advocate for things that maybe I would now as a 37 year old woman, like, hey, use rehearsal space, I'm going to have to bring my child wet, you know, like, I'm gonna have to feed him, what are you going to do to help me like, you person to begin with, and especially when I was 21, and probably much more overwhelmed than I allowed myself to kind of think I was, I wasn't gonna ask that I was just gonna, like, yeah. Or, or, or see that as an opportunity that I couldn't have or I don't know, feed him in the car, or, you know, so I think sometimes, you know, having a little bit more, you know, a few more years behind you, and just a bit more confidence. I've advocated for myself a little bit more and being a bit more assertive, but I think the industry is changing. Like, there are so many more women speaking up in the industry, about and not just about motherhood, but just about sexism in general. And just small things like, you know, there are more I'm seeing more females working in manager, you know, like artist manager roles who are female, so they're just gonna have a, I'm sure, just more empathy for the say, their female clients around some of this stuff. I'm seeing more female sound engineers and producers, and I think that is really, really important. publicists did just seem to be a whole bunch of dudes back in the day. Doing that stuff. Yeah, yeah, maybe it's changing but I just think like anything in life changes are slow. So especially when you're trying to change Something that's been endemic since the beginning of time, but seems like we're looking at like this tiny little kind of music industry. I don't know, from my perspective in Melbourne even like, yeah, yeah, that's it. We're talking about an issue that is like, just the way humanity has been built for a very long time. So, yeah, yeah, I can see. Yeah, but I think more more and more women, a lot of performers who have children, I guess it may be being like, if I'm maybe social media, I think social media can be a bit. Yeah, um, but I think sometimes social media might be great in that way that they might post like, they're on tour, but you can see the kid in the backseat of the car, or, you know, I don't know. So maybe, maybe like, you know, female artists sharing their experiences of like, motherhood and the road or motherhood and recording or just motherhood in any sort of arts practice. Just makes it again, it just normalizes it. That's it, isn't it? And it makes it sound achievable for yourself. Because like you said, as a 21 year old, though, that that wasn't in you at that stage. But maybe if social media had been around, or if you had seen someone do it, you would have thought hang on a sec. That's, that is acceptable. I'm gonna have a crack at this sort of, sort of mentality. Yeah, yeah, just seeing some art. Okay. There are a few other artists, you know, doing this as well, because yeah, I definitely felt while everyone was so kind, you know, my other musician, friends, I think, you know, when you're in something, it's very hard to really know how you feel. Because I know when you've just had a baby, sometimes you're in survival mode to a certain extent you just like, head down doing what you got to do. And so I think now that sort of time has passed, I can be a bit more reflective. And I think I was, I think there was still a sense, even though no one overtly excluded me, ever. I do think I felt very alone. Because I didn't have other peers really having that same experience. And then the few people I would look up to and like, oh, wow, that person is a mother and a singer, songwriter, too. They wouldn't maybe I still felt alone in that a little because maybe they'd had their kids a bit later. And so they still had maybe a bit more of an established Korea. Look up to them. Okay, I'll just do what they do. And then I just almost find that really disheartening. Almost more so because I'm like, they're like, doing it all like, and they've got kids and I'm not doing it all. Yeah, so yeah, it was a bit lonely at times. Buried, you came alone with your shop, silent, said, get out, get in, just get to your beauty, your voice your take on a magic. I want to ask you about when you said before, that you you did your AP, when your son was young? And you said I don't know how I did it. Yeah. How did you actually do it? Was he? Is he coming with you a lot? Yeah. Like, how to physically manage it. The first thing to know about my son and my daughter. And it is what it is like. And again, like when it comes to parenting and how we do it. I just have no, I just people do what they've got to do. Like, I just do not care how other people like feed their kids sleep their kids like you do what you got to do. For me, personally, neither of my kids. So it wasn't because like of my own belief system around feeding, but neither of my kids would take a bottle. So the only way they were fed was via me for you know, 18 months, both of them my daughter a bit longer. So they were breastfed, which just meant they couldn't not be with me for long. So the hours so how did I do that EP, I think I had started recording it before he was born. Which helped so I think a lot of the work had been done. And then I think I did little short recording sessions in around feeds Due to finish off some of the vocal stuff, and then when it came time, I guess to like launching it, you know, like playing it playing like some shows and try to build up a bit of publicity around it, which again, like things have changed a bit, I probably would now, looking back, hire a publicist, which I didn't at the time, so it was just a lot of email, beat magazine, and whatever else it was. I just sort of it was just in snatched moments. i Yeah. And I don't know if that's the most sustainable way to do it. But I don't know any other way. I could have done it. Late nights when the babies are finally asleep. That was often when I would sit on the computer and email out my, you know, although Admony type parts of music rehearsals were Yeah, like, he'd be there. And just thankfully, my musician friends were cool with that. Yeah, the actual launch. I remember, I remember the gig, it was a great gig. It was really, you know, everyone came it was, I was so blessed. You know, like, it was a really beautiful moment. And yeah, we brought him. And so yeah, it was sort of this bar. I'm looking back, nothing was even allowed in there. I don't know. But you know, like a band room and a bar. And it was really crowded. And, you know, it was a great show. And yeah, just with this, I think by then you might have been walking, you know, like, sort of toddler age, just sort of this little toddler near the front of the stage. And it was stressful, because like, I think what we sort of had arranged was like, he'll come but people, they're sort of watching him like my mom or whatever. But no one quite watches your child the way you would. So I remember just being on stage and just being like someone grabbing plays, you know, like, he was too close. But like not like just all like I'm literally performed. Internally, almost just yelling at people like, move him grab him. He's too close to that, or whatever it was. Yeah. Looking back. That's not a way to perform. Hey, but yeah, so in hindsight, I probably would have just booked a babysitter and not had him there. at them, you know, in the moment, it felt like the right thing to do to have him there with us. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I think snatches of time is probably the best way to describe, especially those early days when you know, you're fairly sleep deprived, or, you know, they're very kids are very young. Yeah. Like parenting is like a lifelong journey. Like you're never not a parent, you're always on. But those early years, that, like the time that is required of you is very demanding. Yeah, that's it, that changes when they get older, which is really great. And I'm sort of, I think, you know, enjoying the benefits of that now. But also, they become more complex human beings. So I find it emotionally more challenging now. Yeah. But I am getting sleep. And I go somewhere during the day, and my son, gets himself to school, gets himself home, if he wants to go out on the weekend, like, we're at that stage where I'm just like, Oh, my goodness, like so independent. It's brilliant. I love it. And I'm so happy for him because he's obviously enjoying that independence. And yeah, when you think back to just like, oh, you couldn't leave me for more than two hours? Because it is so nice to be in that space. But yeah, then you I don't know. Because you you said you've got a 14 year old that I worry one out or I'm not emotionally like, oh, yeah, it's a whole different ballgame. Isn't it? Like it's? Yeah, like, yeah, the emotionally draining is a good way of describing it. Because you're, yeah, you're just you're trying to solve problems for him. I help him through things and issues with mental health. And yes, yes. This Yeah. Like you become a psychologist. And yeah, my sister in law, Nicole said recently because her kids are sort of my age, but we have nephews and nieces. Who are that younger age, that sort of baby toddler. And yeah, like, she just sort of commented like in a family thread recently, like, Oh, those beautiful days. I miss them. Like, yeah, they were demanding, but they weren't complex. Like, Oh, I feel every word of that. Yeah. So it's a different type of energy that you're pouring into your children, but you never stop. And I'm sure when they're 20 3040. Like, you'll That's it, isn't it? Yeah. It'll be it'll be something it'll be different again. It'll be Yeah, another thing. seems insane to say this, but then maybe there'll be grandkids and you're like, yeah, what's my role here? But I'm gonna use to believe that I'm still way too young to even consider that. So. Yes, I'm sorry about that. Yeah, I'll come back to you in like 30 is time when you're doing the grandmother artist. thing. That's awesome. Well, I won't have to worry about one of my kids, because my eldest has told me that he's never having children because it's just too hard. He's seen what we were going through. He's living with a six year old. So he's like, I'm not having kids. We're modeling like, how hard it is. Yeah. Yeah.Because you're gonna want to tow back to? So one of the questions I asked my mums is about before you had kids, what was your influences for your art? And then after you have kids? So asking you this is going to be a little bit different? Because I mean, I'm sure you're going to have some, you know, obviously, to music when you're a child, but in terms of what's influenced you, have you noticed that that has changed? Or how you look at your music? Or I don't know what what sort of changes has your own creativity gone through? As you became a mom? Yeah, I think I think the thing? That's a great question. Like, musically, my influences were pretty broad growing up, and I don't think that's changed. You know, like, one day, all I want to do is listen to Abba. And then the next thing I just want to listen to, like, you know, I actually listened to a lot of classical and choral music, and I don't make that music. But it's often what inspires me the harmony in that is so rich, I love harmony. Actually, that's like probably a big part of what I'm drawn to as a musician is harmony and melody. And so I listen to a lot of music that feels quite dense and rich in that way. As I said before, like before my son came along, I was training more in that sort of jazz wealth, and so was playing quite a lot of jazz music. And a lot of those sort of early jazz singers really inspired me in terms of their vocal sound. So like I absolutely I do absolutely love Ella Fitzgerald and Sarah Vaughan and Billie Holiday. huge Beatles fan of course. Yes. My parents pretty much raised me on on the Beatles. And again, their harmony always three. In terms of the Yeah, what inspires me now I think the one thing I feel like my 20s were a little different, right? So a lot of music that's often about like, heartbreak and breaking up, or will we or won't we like just for whatever reason, like I kind of, I found my partner quite young. And we had quite a different experience, like in our 20s. And so I guess sometimes that music even I can really love it. It's not necessarily themes that I'm super drawn to. I guess I'm drawn to themes, like Yeah, so I really loved clear that Bowditch I've never known whether it's Bowditch about it, by the way, but you know what I mean? Yes, I do know, album that came up, actually, when my son was quite little. That was the whole theme was grief. Yeah, I, that had a huge impact on me, because I was like, Oh, you can write a whole album on grief. Like, you don't have to write a whole album on like, you broke up with me, and I'm gonna break up with you. And now we're back together. Because I guess a lot of like, songs in the popular culture are still like, some version of a love song. Yet she wrote this incredible indie pop album on grief. So do you remember what the name of that album was? I do now it was what was left. So it was. That's funny that I just said it. Yes. So she made the album in 2005. And my son was born 2006. So I really remember listening to that. I don't even remember that I was stuck in a lot of grief at the time. But it was more like there were growing up themes. You know, there were real life themes. And they were themes that I kind of that really resonated with me so that that album actually had a huge impact because it showed me that there were other things I could write about. And I could write about things that were really real to me. You know, one of the songs that is on my new album that is still you know, in we're in the process of making and releasing is actually just all without boundaries, I would not have written a song about boundaries when I was 18. Because it's not very sexy at all. I really like it. You know, like, that stuff's important to me. Yes. So, so that album had huge impacts and a huge impact on me. from more of a lyrical perspective, yeah. And then like, musically, my tastes have just never really changed because they were always broad to begin with. And they remain really broad. So I listened to a lot of music that I know I'll never make, like I listen to a lot of neo soul. I'm probably not going to make me I mean, I love it. You know, Jill Scott is one of my favorite singers. And I also just know straight up that I will never sound anything like Jill Scott or make me look like us. But I still love absolutely love her. So I don't. Yeah, don't necessarily always listen to a lot of music that's similar to the music I make. But I don't know, I think that can really make help you be really well rounded to when you're really open to all sorts of styles. And, yeah, I'm so sorry. That's my dog. Oh, hey, puppy. Sorry. I had my cat in here before and she's got a little bell on a collar. And I was like, Don't scratch your head. It's actually not much of a back and normally I think maybe another dog walk by what sort of dog is he? He's a stuffy cross. We don't know what we use in rescue dog. Yeah, and he's one my heart big. Heart. Yeah, he's funny. Yesterday, I interviewed a lady and she had a stuffy as well. Oh, really? And it my son's been on this bandwagon that he wants to get a stuffy and I was like maybe the universe is telling me something. While banjo is a real sweetheart. Yeah, like he was pretty full on when we got him because he was a rescue and hadn't. Yeah, he we pretty much were starting from scratch with him. Yeah, yeah, he's just Yeah, cuddly and but anyway, I think he's still packing now. Good job AJ. You're listening to the art of being a mom was my mom. I was a new member too. Yeah, when you saying before about influences, but they're not necessarily what you put in your music. I appreciate the Beatles so much because of what they've allowed me to understand about how you can present your music. Like, you can do whatever the hell you want. Like, honestly, I play this. And like if you want to, like play, record your guitar solo, and then play it backwards. You can do that. And then you can. But the thing that got me was like, changes of tempo within songs and different elements that go together to make the same song but it's like you're just grabbing stuff from everywhere. And I was just like, I don't have I had a poster on my wall. I've got my Abbott poster up there. And I did have one but it failed. Me Oh my God, and harmonies, harmonies just a massive thing that I love so much. Yeah, it's just like, can just be shown what's like, same thing with your example. With clear it's like, you can write an album on whatever you'd like. Like, I call it the Taylor Swift music like the we broke up and we're getting back together. And then you didn't call me about you know, all this, which I see is really frivolous now, because I'm, you know, happily married and have lots of, you know, security about my life. But I think you know, I can understand where that fits in. But yeah, there's just so much depth to stuff and a singer songwriter that I really admire. Jen lash, I'm not sure if you've heard of Jen. She's a South Australian artist. And look her up. I think you'd really like her music. She's, and she's been a guest on my podcast, and I kind of see her as a bit of a mentor. I don't know if she knows that. Hi. All my mentors have no idea that they might Yes. She inspired me to be able to write songs about really difficult subjects, but make them really listening. So the musical in her words, the musical treatment that she gives that song allows it to be like received by people sort of thing. And about a topic that's very jarring. Yeah, maybe maybe the music can be jarring, too. But maybe you're gonna let more people in if allows that. Yeah. And so yeah, she really inspired me With a song that she wrote about postnatal depression called called Wolf, and when I heard I saw she sang it live. She came down here as part of a sort of a was called Palomino nights at the wall shed it was in this old watershed down in Glencoe. And she performed in this space and when I heard that song, I just went, oh my god, like it was like someone had slapped me in the face and gone. Yeah, you can do stuff about anything. Yeah, so she's really inspired me. Jen lash. Okay. Look her up. Jen's amazing. I love Jen so much. And she's listened to her episode, because she's got such an amazing way of speaking the way she articulates things. She's just such a wordsmith like, Ah, just love. I will definitely listen. Yeah. Yeah, just knowing that you can write about anything, I think was really? Yeah, that's definitely what that clear album did for me. And then you've got that album. She bought out years later, which was the winter I chose happiness, where the theme was almost about this kind of like, so she done his album about grief. And then years later, she did this album. But it wasn't that frivolous happiness. It was, like real choice. Like it was like an oyster kind of. And so again, that another album she might use later also had huge impacts on me like, oh, you can write about happiness without being cheesy. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. So yeah, just, yeah. How good is music? So lucky? This? Pretty much you will never hear it all, you know? Yeah. Yeah. People always, actually, because I work with students. They're often like, oh, have you heard blah, blah, blah. And I'll be someone a bit younger. So someone I haven't heard of. And, you know, my mind is just continually blown. Yeah. Let's see. I go through phases, like where I deliberately don't listen to current music, because I want to stay in the past in some way. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want to admit that I don't know what's happening right now in music. Like I just I like to know, I like to be able to sing along and I know what's coming. But then sometimes I think I'm missing out on so much, if I don't you know it, because there's so much amazing stuff being done. Some of it's a lot of crap. But there is a lot of crap. There is a lot of crap. And I think therefore we sort of go, it's all crap. Yeah, you can kind of like wade through the crap. There is also just some amazing. Yeah, there's sort of amazing music being made at the moment. But it's also not the music that's necessarily in the top 20. So yeah, that's it is more. Yeah. And I think over the years, I've become a lot. Obviously, as you get older, you understand things, you understand how things work, and the thought the whole thing about the NSA pop, you know, in inverted commas, because it's not necessarily I don't know, any music can be popular, but I'm talking about in a commercial sense. Yeah, it is really is just a big business. You know, it's just about producers, people, finding people, people making money off those people and, and the person themselves becomes the product. And yeah, always freaks me out a bit, you know, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've come, I've come quite jaded of that. And, and not wanting to care. Like, I know, like, commercial radio is literally commercial radio. Like, it's just people, they pay the money to have the songs on. And so I've had a bit of a wake up call, like, for many years, it's like, I just want to be, I want to be on the radio, I want my songs on the radio. And then when I understood it, I was like, no, actually, I want my songs on community radio, because that's where the relationships are. And that's where your people care about the songs they're playing. They have a choice about the songs they're playing, you know? Yeah, so that yeah, no, that's it. Yeah, you're so right. Like, I mean, yeah. Also, I think just the way music and how people listen to music is changing. So I'm not even sure anymore, that being getting on the radio isn't necessarily the golden ones. Still space for it. And especially think there's space for community radio, like here in Melbourne, we've got like PBS and triple out there, and they're huge stations, and they're amazing. And you know, to be on one of those stations. I think it's fantastic. But yeah, I don't know, you know, there are so many ways people can access music now that, you know, yeah, I don't know, it's probably one of many ways you can reach an audience, but maybe not sort of the only way. Yeah, it used to feel Yeah, absolutely. Quite, sort of, unless you were on the radio. It was like no one ever heard. You know, you can pay people to put your music on things and they were know, yeah, totally. But I mean, it's the world, isn't it? Yeah. Do you very expensive to be an independent musician, you know? Yeah, that'sthe thing. Isn't it no one tapped me on the shoulder and goes, Hi, here's heap of money to record. Yeah, women? Oh, no, I'll do this and that for you. It's very parenting into the mix. I think it's, and I think that's part of the challenge is, I really believe in my music, I really do. I really think it's pretty good. You know, like, I'm not saying I'm the best out there or anything like that. But I know I can sing. I know I can write I know, I'm making a pretty good record. But when my confidence starts to fall down big time is actually when I start realizing like the costs in like releasing it and releasing it. Well. You know, whether it's paying a publicist or making a video or whatever, yeah. And then when you have children in the mix, it can be really hard to justify those costs when, you know, you've got to buy school uniforms, and CDs in classes and soccer, you know, like, it can seem really self indulgent, that you're really selfish. Yeah. So it's so that's probably where I'm finding myself at the moment a bit like, the confidence in the music is there again, which is so nice, you know? Because obviously, we have times where it's not. Yeah, but it's that kind of this is, this is such an endeavor to embark on. And how can I justify I can totally appreciate that. Like my husband said to me, when I print because I like to print say days and albums, because I think people's people still like to put things in means. I found what I when I used to play a lot of folk festivals, and I found that the seat Yeah, you still needed CDs. So like, yeah, so obviously, they're not gone. Yeah, I don't think they're gone. For them to be gone. Yeah, people are also buying finally again. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. People like a tangible thing, man. Yeah. And I think that the amount of effort that I end the people I'm, like, work with to do my artwork. I think that it deserves a bigger, you know, platform than just a tiny little square on the iPhone or whatever. You know, the actual your actual artwork. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, my husband is like, have you worked here? How many? So I should preface this, my husband's a financial planner, right? We can be really handy are really annoying. We could not be different worlds, honestly. So yeah, it's like, how many CDs do you have to sell to be able to make your money back? I'm just like, I am not thinking about this. I'm thinking about creating my music and giving it to the world. That is, I know, thinking about and I remember like me with my like pea size, math brain. first EP and sort of trying to do the maths and in the arm, like I can't do the bloody maths, I'm just going to do it like, yeah. And, you know, probably to be honest, years later, having a few boxes of CDs still stashed under a bit. Think it's the same for everybody. It's always a boxer CD so. Now I guess that this topic is sort of leading into something that I love to talk to moms about. And it sounds nasty when I say I love to talk to you about your mom guilt. But I find it such a fascinating topic. Yeah, we put ourselves aside like literally what we've just been talking about, like, we feel like we have to justify ourselves because you know, that money could be paid for the school fees, or could be for the groceries, you know, how how do you sort of approach that mom guilt thing? First of all, for years, I really resisted the term. And even with credit, I'd be like, Well, I don't have no guilt. Good on me. I don't believe in it. It's bullshit, and I don't have it. And then in the last few years, like of course I have, I experienced guilt as a human being and part of that is around my mothering. So yes, technically, I experienced mother guilt. I experience it often around time. So even though my kids are a lot older, my daughter in particular, she really misses me when I do things. And in many ways that's very sweet. And in other ways, it's really had, um, I can be like, you know, spending a fair amount of time and energy on my art, which I think is really fair, because I also give a lot of energy to other people. And she'll actually like, you know, if I'm, I don't know, maybe I was at the studio all day and all night and didn't get home like, and I try my best to like, you know, communicate that in advance that maybe once or twice where like, because they're not home like, you know Dad's home. So it's not like they're home alone. But that can be a real, like, she can be really upset with me that the next day was just like, I didn't know, I didn't know you would be out too late and well, and I feel really bad around that stuff. So I'm trying to get trying to get better at like, not changing what I do, because I think it's really reasonable that I'm sometimes busy doing stuff that almost I think I could, yeah, so I can experience guilt around that, kind of like the time away that it can be. And like I said before, I don't even know if it's guilt, but it's maybe like the justification around like, the financial side of things. Like I think the reality is, like, we sort of, we grew up in a world where the idea of being a musician, so 2025 years ago, it was like, Well, you just get good, and then you meet the right people, and then you get signed to a contract, and they'll give you lots of money, and you'll make records, and actually realizing that happens to such a small percentage of including musicians who we would consider to be quite big and successful. Like, they're still doing it in a very different way, I have friends who I would consider like, on paper to be much more successful than I am as musicians, and they're still working other jobs or, you know, looking for funding for certain things, you know, so it's a very, most of us not doing it that way. And the reality that I'm sort of facing at the moment, really, with this album that I'm making is that it's costing quite a bit to make. So not only am I not making money, at the moment, I'm actually spending money to make my own art, that's not a job. It's not like it's when you think about what a job, you go to work, and you get paid. I'm going I'm I'm doing a lot of work. And also forking out money. So so the whole kind of, what am I actually doing? And why am I doing it can kind of creep in sometimes because it's not if you're if you know, I call it work, I call it like, you know, I'm an artist, and I'm working and I'm this is my project. But if I'm really honest, right now, it's sort of not work. It's, it's not bringing in, it's not bringing home the bacon. So I think the guilt can then arise when because we live in a capitalist society, where we value money. So I find it much easier, even now, even after all these years, it's much easier for me emotionally, to ask, for instance, for someone to babysit my kids, because I'm teaching because teaching brings home money. And so there's like, this is the most important thing in the world that we all need to do, we all need to make money, because that's the society we live in. And I need to go and make that money. So I feel quite justified. There's that word again, in getting help with the kids because we've got to make that money. But then I really can struggle with the same kind of asking for help or reprioritizing things to say, like make this record because it's not bringing in the money. And I think that comes down to Yeah, like we live in a society that still doesn't value things. Paying. So I trying to really, really kind of remind myself that this is an important expression of who I am. And that's why I have to give it time, and maybe that's why I even have to give up. You know, money. Because, yeah, it's I don't know, I hate talking about money, it makes everyone feel really uncomfortable. But I think it's also really important. It's a huge part of it can be a very big barrier to making art. And, yeah, when you have a family, it can be a barrier that you put on yourself because it just doesn't feel kind of right. But I'm really sort of trying to lean into the feeling that I have that for me at the moment. It is right and it is okay. But yeah, so I think it's really interesting, I think, yeah, how what we value in this society still often comes down to like, how much money you make from it. But why not just think of all the great artists you know, like, I mean, it's such a it's such a cliched example. that Van Gogh, you know, didn't make any money and we all now know that he's just the most brilliant artist. So just trying to like remember that this art is important and to try and not feel that guilt, whether it's the financial guilt or the time away guilt, which is a big one that I tend to feel. Well, the other the other guilt that I can sometimes feel is when I'm, and I'm sure a lot of parents might relate to this is when I really go for it, like I'm diving into a really creative space, whether it's just like, oh my god, like these songs are just churning within me or like I've booked out a few days in the studio, I'm just going for it, I'm the the first thing to kind of fall apart is just all the shit at home like dishes, washing, yep, eating healthy food. And again, I think that's a very sexy thing to talk about, like it's pretty boring and unglamorous. But part of our job as parents, I guess, is to kind of keep on top of some of that stuff. And I'm very, very aware that I have a partner who does more than 50% of that stuff. So I really can't complain. Especially, you know, I speak to a lot of females with male partners and, and find out that even though it's 2022, they still seem to seem to take on a huge percentage of that, and I know that I actually don't so I'm very, very fortunate. However, yeah, I can still feel like when I'm really kind of diving into some artistic spaces, mentally or emotionally, the house just turns to absolute shit. And, and that can actually bring up a bit of guilt for me too. Like, well, we're eating takeaway again, because I don't have time to cook because I've written five songs. Yeah. Yeah, so that's just another aspect of mom guilt that I definitely feel and I try to be okay with. exists, and we just have to, like, kind of know that it exists and acknowledge it. Like, I'm feeling guilty right now. Why is that reasonable? Am I being too hard on myself? Actually, it's, it's really fine that I've done those things, and it's fine. And then, you know, the, the other thing we've got to remember is occasionally guilt is healthy, and it is telling us something. Yeah, maybe I'm feeling mom guilt, because I actually haven't spoken to my kids for days. And I need to fix that, you know, like, so actually, like, might Yeah, I just try to be aware of how I feel, and then kind of sit with it, and then work through whether it's like, you know, a feeling that I need to kind of listen to or a feeling that I can sort of go that that's just like your kind of inner critic getting pretty loud in your head. Yeah, it can really your inner critic has one or two important things to say as well. So just knowing you is unhealthy, and when it might actually be just telling you something that you better like, come on. Yeah, no, that is the fourth time this week. They've beaten junk. So maybe it's really important tomorrow to prioritize some vegetables. You know what I mean? Like, so? Absolutely. I think yeah, I think you're right, I think you can definitely serve a purpose. It's definitely not a place. Yeah. But then when it turns into this, and I, whenever I say, ma'am, you I do the air quotes, because I feel like it's just the term has been constructed by a new social media hashtag, you know, it's this theme. This this plan, and, and that's why I hate saying it, but I feel like it's when I say, Do you feel guilty? That sounds really creepy. You know? You're not really, I think I would love to live in a world where the term mum guilt is just not a thing. And if we're gonna have anything, it's parent guilt. And I don't even think parent guilt should be a thing, but at least that crosses genders and roles, you know, like, why, for instance, because I'm a woman should I feel really bad about, you know, the dishes piling up and you know, an unhealthy dinner. If, like, you know, a male parent really doesn't. Now I'm not saying they don't. And I'm not saying it's that simple. But yeah, like, what is it about? Like, why have we been conditioned to kind of carry that burden or that guilt? Yeah, so yeah, if we, if we have to feel guilty. Can we all please feel guilty together? It's just on the women. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You know, we'll see. Yeah, that's it, isn't it? over last year, I did a couple of Father's Day episodes, especially ones where I chatted to dads about and it's it's a different kind of guilt. Yeah, they certainly feel it. But just, I think they're not expected to feel I think that's the difference. We're the ones who are supposed to wear it. Yeah, yeah, totally. And even like, I'm, like I said before, like, we've sort of really set our lives up, in a way, you know, in our family where I guess we don't necessarily play those traditional gender roles. Like, at the moment, I work more than my husband, like an extra day, he does all the washing, because I'm really bad at it. I don't know, he's actually much better at like remembering the admin sort of stuff around, you know, our that notice needs to be handed in. And we've got to pay that, you know, I'm pretty bad at all of that. So even though I live in a relationship that has really kind of, we've really intentionally tried to not just play those roles that can fall on you, because you are male, or female or whatever. Even within that year, I think I experienced more of the emotional kind of guilt. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'll ask him and find out that. Maybe, yeah, maybe. So even if within your kind of nucleus family, you've got something really going on. That's pretty kind of countercultural, or whatever. We still are in a society that puts pressure on women and mothers to do it all and be at all. Yeah. And so yeah, that's it, isn't it? Yeah. I'm not feeling guilty about the parenting and I'm really focusing on the parenting and, you know, doing great there, then I sort of start to feel a bit guilty about, oh, I'm not really doing any art or singing. So like, it's a little. A little sometimes that's just a load of crap. Whoever said that. He was the first person that said that should just because it mean, you can't you can, I heard someone say you can do it all. But you can't do it all at the same time. You know, like you go through phases in your life where, you know, your children are young. So you're focusing on your children, then you do your art, like, you can't, you can't do it all, you physically cannot do it all and also, mentally and in your heart. You can't do it all because you're torn all over the place. You know, totally. I also think I think just the way my brain works is I'm not very good at multitasking. So I think those people like I'm really good at like, diving in deep. So if I'm so I'm writing today, I'm probably just long writing. And if I'm just like, all in with like, hey, it's my day off, and I'm going to clean the house and I'm going to cook a really nice dinner and I'm going to pick my daughter up from school and we're going to go out for a milkshake, then I'm going to do that really, really well to not very good at trying to do both of those things at once. Yeah, I've always said yeah, you can do it all if you want to do it all pretty badly. Yeah, that's it, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, you spread yourself so thin that nothing gets done. I don't wanna say well, but to the way that you probably want it to be done. You know? Yeah. Nice myth, isn't it? It's an urban myth. So going back to your your music and your identity, how you see yourself as a mother and as a musician and an artist, is it really important to you that your children's see, and I don't want to say I'm putting it in quotes, again, that you're just a mom, because you're never just a mom, that you are contributing to the world. Your your voice is being heard what you're saying is a value. Is that something that is important to you? Yeah, I think it's extremely important to me, both of my children in very different ways, obviously, showing to me that they're very creative people. And so I we really want to nurture that in them. Like my son is an amazing writer, like really incredible writer. My daughter is a natural dancer. And actually, funnily enough, I think she's also a really good singer, too. I have to like, listen out when she doesn't know I'm hearing it. Because I'm a singer. Yeah, there's some stuff there that we'll probably have to unpack that one day because yeah, she's a really great singer. When she was really little, I'd hear her in her room, listening to music, but harmonizing Oh, what? Oh, okay. Um, but she's pretty. She's done it a bit in the past in the last few years, like, if I'm like, Hey, John is seeing this, she's actually pretty reluctant. And that's fine. Like, I'm so not gonna push that. But I think she does have some natural talent there. Anyway, they're both really creative. And I think that's so beautiful. And so I would hate to be kind of creating an environment where they don't see that that's a really normal thing that you would want to foster their dad to. He's very creative. He he like, he wouldn't call himself a professional musician, but he loves music, and he plays in the past. He hasn't done it for a while, but he used to do like, some street art. He's always building things, you know, I'll say something like, oh, we need a box to plant some daffodils in and literally the next day. He's just found some wood and made a box. So and yes, he's a good visual artist. So pink growing up. I hope seeing that art is something that nourishes you. And, and yeah, I hope I hope I'm not I hope I'm modeling to them that I really love music, I guess the one worry I have is that they might see all the stress behind it. Yeah, I think they Yeah, so I know, it's really important to me that they know that creativity in whatever way or shape, you know, like, it doesn't have to be music. But creativity is something to be that we should honor and chat and spend time on. And that doesn't have to make you money. And if you make your living, you know, my son grows up one day to be a writer, my daughter grows up Monday to be a dancer. Wow, how amazing. But that's not even what I mean. It's it's about expression and about, you know how happy they are actually, when they do those things. And actually, I think when they see me when you strip away or they're like, I'm trying to be an independent music in the world, and I'm applying for funding, and I'm very, very strict like that when they actually see me like sit at the piano and just play and just seeing this seeing me really in my most pure kind of happy state. And they see that all the time. Yeah. So. So I think I'm more I'm hope that I'm modeling to them that in whatever way it looks like for you. And it can change as you change that creativity is just a really important thing to nurture within yourself. Because I think everyone is creative. Actually. Everyone. Yeah, but not all of them have been taught that that's okay. Or it's worth fostering or looking after? Yeah, I think. And maybe this is, I think, based on my experience with some people I've met along the way that a lot of angry people I know, are people who are not allowing themselves to be very creative and switch somewhere. And they just sort of hate everyone. And I really think that if you are if you allow yourself to, you know, yeah. Be creative. However, that is. I think you just yeah, like it's a bit cliche, but you're sort of tending to your soul a little bit. And then I think you just live in the world in a more well rounded, happy away. Yeah. So yeah, put that so well. Thank you. Very important to us, actually, as a family that we yeah, we do it and therefore hopefully, they just naturally do it, too. Yeah, that's it. Like like yourself growing up in your family, you saw that that is just part of a normal, everyday existence. This is not something that's out of the ordinary. You maybe didn't realize that till later. But, you know, this is a perfectly acceptable way to live your life like you don't have to be afraid of this. Yeah. And there have been times you know, when like, the kids were little aware, I wasn't spending heaps of time on music, but I actually was always being creative. So when I wasn't making music, I was I was writing the scenes. And when I wasn't writing scenes, I was like, bought a sewing machine. And I was trying to sew think I wasn't very good. But like I was sewing. Yeah, quarter like gardening now for me is a big one, like, so it's also like music is the thing that I come back to because I think, I don't know. It's like, it's in my DNA. It's who I am. And it's how I express myself in the world. But also just there are so yeah, showing them that there's just so many ways to be creative. Yeah, they can be small. They don't have to be big. Yeah, that's it and they don't have to be for anybody else. And they don't have to be clever monetary value placed on the me that they can be something. It's something for yourself, you know, so important. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. No, I love that. Best Use of my garden and losses, concert was born? Can you share with us what you might have coming up? You mentioned about your album that you're working on? Yeah. Have you got? And also have you got? I mean, I guess shows us starting up again in the world have you got anything you want to share that you've got coming up? Oh, so that Yeah, so the big, big one for me at the moment is the album that I've been making. And it's been a really long labor of love, like I always knew it would take time. But then right in the middle of it, we had a two year pandemic, which has had so many impacts a, it has impacts on time, because you can't like get to the studio. And then the other thing, like we've talked, we've talked about money a little bit today. But one of the things I do as a singer is, you know, when I do that backing vocals gig or I go on tour with that person on BBS, or I do that session work, that all generally gets generated back into the art that I make. So I lost all of that work. So then so so it's not just the time factor has slowed the record down, but it's actually the the income coming in to generate back into it slowed down as well. So COVID has really impacted it in a really huge way. However, we're really close to finish, like we finished recording the music, we're now mixing it and mastering it. And the hope was to release it at the start of this year. And now it's like we're going to release it towards the end of this year. And again, like you can have a plan. I don't know, I'm actually feeling really good about that. Now, I'd like you to have said right at the start, like, you've got time, you don't need to rush. Yeah. And I, I had a bit of an opportunity last year where I did something on TV. And so I was like, right, I've got to release it now because I got to ride that wave I'm gonna work out and I was like, Oh, I really disheartened by that. But in hindsight, it would have been rushed. And it actually wouldn't have been very good. And, and now I feel really good about sort of almost mapping out, you know, I don't know, like a six month plan and, you know, sharing the music, my music with the world really well and properly. So I don't have any gigs booked at the moment, because I'm super focused on the album. And what like, you know, as much as I hate to say it, social media plays a really big role in building my audience. So like, if anyone listening to this wants to follow me on the socials that would really be amazing. Or even sign up to my mailing list. Yeah, yeah, definitely put all the links, I'll put all the links in for people there. Cool. That would be really great. You know, that is sort of these days, I guess how we reach to a certain extent, at least, our audience, and of course, I would like to be gigging again. But I'm also really pacing myself, I want to do things well. Yeah. I don't want to just be throwing things together and quickly hopping back on stage. So we yeah, we will definitely be playing some shows when the album comes out, or there's single release or whatever. But yeah, choosing to take my time choosing to remember. Yeah, that I've got time. Yeah, that's what I think I think we can all take something from that, that it's, you know, we have got time. We don't have to rush. It's not a race and not to do things at our own pace. Yeah, totally. And obviously, the flip side to that is like, sometimes you need to give yourself a deadline. Otherwise, maybe I'll just be doing this for the next 10 years. So I know the deadline for me is by the end of this year, but what that looks like I still don't know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the main thing and yeah, maybe yeah, if people find me on social media, then yeah, if a gig pops up, and sometimes I'm doing gigs for other people, you know, like, I might be backing vocals for someone and I can share that as well. Yeah, but at the moment, I'm actually yeah, just tucked away doing all the behind the scenes work. Yeah, all the really hard work. Oh, my God, I know, right? Jumping on stage at the NCAA. Put me in front of like 1000 people or 2000 people and tell me to sing no problem. Put me in a room with like two people where I'm like asking for funding and I'll be days before Yeah. And that's the thing too, like, unless you're in that musician, where Old, or even the artists will, all you see is that in result, all we see is that in product, so you don't understand all the stuff that goes in behind the scenes to make that product, you know? True and like, you know, I think I think I read it somewhere that way, often comparing our kind of, like, we know what we're doing behind the scenes. So we know how hard it is and how messy it is and how not not ready it is yet we can get that to like what everyone else's end product that they're showing online is, and I think it's we're gonna do that too. Like, eventually, when I released this album, it's probably going to look quite nice and shiny and like, hey, look, but like, yeah, we're hearing the journey, you know, to the destination of others. And that's not a very smart thing to do. Probably not very helpful. Your, your album journey sounds like mine, mine is just taking forever. And I don't care because I hate sitting. I hate setting deadlines, because I hate that pressure. Because you know, life happens and you have children. And you know, you can't just go by, I have to do this for my 14 year old having a breakdown, like Italy's life, and it's so good. So I'm working with these producers who are overseas, and they just only because we have nothing here and that Gambia we don't have access to any sort of recording studios or anything. And again, I'm not going to tell you I know this is the world now. You know, it's amazing. And sorry, I'm just gonna blog for a sec. But yeah, they're in Spain and Argentina. So I basically send them a video of what I want, I bang out the chords on my old Casio and say, this is the idea I've got, then they send back their idea made on computer instruments. And always I say yes, that's amazing, because it always is. And so then they, they organize the musicians to play it properly. Then they send it back and I do my vocals and then they mix it. So they're doing everything apart from mastering it. So it's just like, and I can just sit here in my little room in the middle of nowhere. And this album and I'm, it's so wonderful. I think, you know, there's so much stuff around technology that can bother me and just, and then I hear a story like that. And I'm so excited. I'm like, that's now a possibility. You're working with producers saying, you know, and me years ago, to know that this was coming that this was possible, I would never have believed it. You know, I always had this idea that I live in this little town. I didn't I never wanted to leave my little town because I love it. You know, I was born here. I've got my kids here. Even Adelaide, it's only five hours away, or Melbourne five hours away. But it's a different world. So I've never wanted to pick up and go right, I'm gonna go there and make my career. It's like, No, I want to do it in my, in my own terms in my own way. And it's like, finally the time has come. I can do it. You know. I love that. Yeah. bloom where you're planted, you know? Yes. You know, other people might have a completely different, you know, they do want to move and they want. And that's great. But I agree like, you know, you don't have to, you don't have to. That's the cool thing about being an artist. You can forge your own way. There's actually no real like, we think there's a way you've got to do it. But then when you start to talk people, everyone's winging it. Yeah. That's for some people that's moving overseas for other people. It's so not that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think that's really exciting. Well, I can't wait to hear it. You'll be waiting a bit longer. I know these things take time. Okay, with that, I think yeah, and that's thing too, if you if you're the sort of person that can be settled and go, Okay, when it's ready, that's fine. You can you can do this. But if you're the sort of person it's like, I have to do I have to get done. You could not do this. You'd be off to wherever to record but you know, that's the great thing, too. We're all so different. And that's what makes the world go yeah, we're all doing the same thing. Today, Ms. It's just been such a joy chatting with you. I really loved it. Thank you so much. You're so lovely to talk to me about music and I love talking about my kids. So it's a pretty it's a pretty nice thing to do to sit down and have a chat with you. Yeah, no, thanks. It's been great. I've loved it. Always good. Always good to get a bit of Beatles chat in there somewhere. Anytime, Ill have to tell you my Paul McCartney story another time. Oh, okay. All right, To be continued. Thanks for your company today. If you've enjoyed this episode, I'd love you to consider leaving us a review Are you following or subscribing to the podcast? Or even sharing it with a friend who you think might be interested? If you or someone you know who'd like to be a guest on the podcast, please get in touch with us by the link in the show notes. I'll catch you again next week for another chat with an artistic mum.

10 Rachel Charge Australian ceramic artist, writer and multidisciplinary creative 10 Article # 8 September 2023 My name is Rachel Charge, I am a mother, ceramic artist, writer and multidisciplinary creative. With my hands and a small selection of tools, I transform textural clay into considered ceramic forms for elevated daily use. Beyond the practice of ceramics, I am an independent writer and storyteller weaving intentional words for mindful publications and conscious small businesses. I have always been creative and dreamed of being an artist in some form – I loved to write stories and draw in my early years and then my focus turned to poetry, photography and studio arts in high school where I sold my first artwork at 17 years old. My path has never been linear and it took time to figure out what I wanted to do and build the courage to put myself out there. I have a Bachelor of Business degree majoring in Public Relations and I suppose the common thread throughout the corporate roles of my twenties has always been writing. I fell in love with clay after taking a sabbatical in 2018 where I allowed myself to fully embrace my creativity. We had been trying to conceive for a few years by that time and clay became a beautiful outlet for me. I am predominantly self-taught in my practice and use hand building techniques to create my work. It all fell into place quite naturally, and I began selling my work and gaining stockists that same year. My husband, James, is my biggest supporter and we fell pregnant via IVF with our daughter, Peach, in 2019. The journey to becoming a mother in all its phases and fullness has informed my practice over time. Matrescence for me feels like the process of learning and unlearning. A shift like the seasons and huge period of growth. Throughout it all my artistic process feels both independent from and gently interwoven with myself as a mother. She is muse to me, and I am muse to myself. Motherhood has expanded my being. "Family is incredibly important to me. I love being home with Peach and integrating my passion for my art and life’s work around motherhood." During this season of my life, I am a mum first. Most of my week is spent with Peach while she is still little, and I have one full day per week where she goes to my parents’ house with her cousins. I make up most of my studio time on this day but also weave in some writing time where I can. Otherwise, I make the most of moonlight hours, weekends and slow afternoons. I have become more of a night owl since becoming a mother; surrendering to found moments and shorter intervals of time. I am more efficient now in the way that I work. Time is more valuable. As Peach grows (she will be four in November), a sense of consistency has returned to my practice and a rhythmic flow seems easier to find. I try to weave a little bit of magic and creativity into every day which nourishes both of us. Some of my best ideas have arrived during day-to-day activities with her. I am surrounded by many beautiful humans who are parents, small business owners, entrepreneurs, artists and creatives who inspire me in life and in parenthood. No matter what we do, we are all just trying our best to live how we want to live. My support network is everything! James, my parents, my three sisters and my friends who feel like home are my biggest supporters as an artist, a mother and a human. They always have my back. Having people around us who love our family and want to see us thrive is the most beautiful gift. I’ll forever be grateful for them. I have felt guilt in the moments of overwhelm, where I feel like I am juggling everything and nothing because the cycle of mundanity can feel endless. I live too deeply in my own head sometimes and it can be difficult to go easy on myself – to embrace the chaos. Being faced with my own humanity and fears can feel triggering. Since having Peach, I have always put the needs of me and my family first and move at a pace that we are comfortable with. I have experienced more guilt over disappointing others than I have experienced ‘mum guilt’ but finding my voice in the realm of my own motherhood experience has been invaluable. The process of matrescence has brought me back to my core values and the necessity for me to prioritise my work as an artist alongside motherhood. I want Peach to see the beauty and potential of life and give her the tools to grow into whoever she wants to be. "I do believe that there are still deeply rooted societal pressures on mothers and families regardless of the household dynamic. The value of motherhood is underrated. " My artistic practices will forever feed my soul, but this does not transcend the desire to create something of value. I want my work to make people feel. I want it to be worth something. I know it is worth something and this empowers me as an artist. I am one of four daughters/sisters, and our mother played a big role in being home with us and being involved at school. My dad took over my grandfather’s business and made it his own, so I suppose I am the product of both my parents in the way I have chosen to live my life. They are both now semi-retired and love spending time with their grandchildren. We are a very close family and spend a lot of time together. Family is incredibly important to me. I love being home with Peach and integrating my passion for my art and life’s work around motherhood. James is an amazing dad who has worked incredibly hard to be able to be at home with her as much as possible too. She gets to witness both of her parents working and being present to guide her. I do believe that there are still deeply rooted societal pressures on mothers and families regardless of the household dynamic. The value of motherhood is underrated. The value of artistry is underrated. The value of small business is underrated. Contact Rachel www.rachelcharge.com.au BACK

Rose Dela Cruz New Zealand photographer S2 Ep37 Listen and Subscribe on itunes , spotify and google podcasts Rose Dela Cruz is a photographer from Auckland New Zealand and a mum of 1 daughter. Rose moved from her home country of the Philippines when she was 11 years old with her mum. Rose began her photography life in 2012 as a second shooter assisting at weddings as a bit of a hobby. At that time, she had no plans to peruse it as a career, just enjoying taking photos when her and her husband travelled. But when her daughter was born in 2020 she fell in love with capturing her. The seeds were sown and Rose began her photographic business, specializing in relaxed, candid and un-posed outdoor shoots, utilizing the surrounding beaches and “the golden hour” (about an hour before the sunset). Her favourite subjects are couples, expectant mothers and families. And she loves to make connections with her subjects and take time observing them, particularly the children. Rose also has a background in dancing, music, playing the guitar. She has an intense desire to create, in whatever form that my take. Rose's instagram https://www.instagram.com/journeybyrosephotography/ and new website www.journeybyrosephotography.com Connect with the podcast here - https://www.instagram.com/artofbeingamum_podcast/ Music used with permission from Alemjo - https://open.spotify.com/artist/4dZXIybyIhDog7c6Oahoc3?si=yJPCGKTpSqyXh_l3zQfvDQ When chatting to my guests I greatly appreciate their openness and honestly in sharing their stories. If at any stage their information is found to be incorrect, the podcast bears no responsibility for guests' inaccuracies. Podcast transcript at the bottom of the page Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of The Art of Being A Mum Podcast. I'm beyond honoured that you're here and would be grateful if you could take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star review in iTunes or wherever you are listening. It really helps! This way together we can inspire, connect and bring in to the light even more stories from creative mums. Want to connect? Take a screenshot of this episode and share it on Instagram tagging me in with @art_of_being_a_mum_podcast I can't wait to connect. And remember if you or somebody you know would like to be a guest on the podcast, get in touch ! I love meeting and chatting to mammas from all creative backgrounds, from all around the world! Thank you! Alison acknowledges this Land of the Berrin (Mount Gambier) Region as the Traditional Lands of the Bungandidj People and acknowledge these First Nations people as the custodians of the Region. Ch eck out more episodes ..... Welcome to the Art of Being a mum, the podcast where we hear from mothers who are artists and creators sharing their joys and issues around trying to be a mother and continue to make. Regular topics include mum guilt, identity, the day to day juggle mental health and how children manifest in their hours. My name is Alison Newman. I'm a singer songwriter, and a mum of two boys from regional South Australia. I have a passion for mental wellness, and a background in early childhood education. You can find links to my guests, and topics they discuss in the show notes, along with music played a link to follow the podcast on Instagram, and how to get in touch. All music used on the podcast is done so with permission. The art of being a mom acknowledges the bowhunting people as the traditional custodians of the land and water which this podcast is recorded on and pays respects to the relationship the traditional owners have with the land and water as well as acknowledging past present and emerging elders. Thanks so much for tuning in today. It really is a pleasure to have you. My guest today is Rose Dela Cruz. Rose is a photographer from Auckland in New Zealand, and a mother of one daughter. Rose moved from her home country of the Philippines when she was 11 years old with her mum. She began her photography life in 2012 as a second shooter, assisting at weddings as a bit of a hobby. At that time, she had no plans to pursue it as a career, just enjoying taking photos when her and her husband traveled. But when her daughter was born in 2020, she fell in love with capturing her and the seeds were sown. Rose began her photographic business specializing in relaxed, candid and unposed outdoor shoots, utilizing the surrounding beaches and the golden hour, that hour before the sunset. Her favorite subjects are couples expectant mothers and families and she loves to make connections with her clients and take the time to observe them, particularly the children. Rose also has a background in dancing, music and playing the guitar. She has an intense desire to create in whatever form that may take. I hope you enjoy today's episode. Welcome along raise. Thanks so much for coming on today. Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure. Yeah, so you're over in New Zealand. In Auckland. Yeah. So what's your weather like there at the moment? Are you your summer is still in summer? Yes. Summer It's so hot. So humid. Reminds me of Philippines when when we were living there. Didn't you step out outside of the mall or somewhere cool. And it's just it hits here, you know? Yeah. Yeah. You came out of that air conditioned and you're like, Oh, yeah. Oh, dear. So how long have you been in New Zealand for you mentioned during the Philippines? Oh, we I came here when we came here. My mum and I when I was 11. So not really long time ago. And now I'm I'm 31. So 2020 years? Yeah. 20 years? Yep. Yeah. Pretty much pretty much grew up here. Yeah. Yeah. Very good. So tell me about your work. You're a photographer over there in New Zealand. Yeah. How long have you been out for? Um, I started back in 2012. But that was mostly as a hobby. I used to do, I used to be a second shooter for my friend down from 323 photography, and he does wedding photography. And I used to be a second shooter for him. So but it was mostly like I said, as a hobby. So I didn't really, you know, I, I didn't think I was gonna pursue it as a business. And so I had my baby. So for a long time, it was mostly you know, my when I got married my husband when we would travel. I will he would be the subject my photography, and then came along my baby. So she became the subject of my photography and I just fell in love with, you know, capturing her and I think I speak for most moms. When I say that once you have a baby, your cameras, your vet your videos are filled with that of your your children. Oh, absolutely. Do you so How old's your daughter? She's two. Yeah, right. Oh, fun time. So just trying to actually I know Oh, very talkative now. Yeah. It's a good age, though, isn't it when they can sort of they can, they can express their feelings to you a bit more. Yeah, there's a lot more. Yeah. Communications. Communication. Yeah. Which is, which is a relief because then, you know, she's able to she's not just crying all the time. And the more she's able to actually tell me what's bothering her or what she needs. So and as a mom, you know, you it's a relief to be able to provide exactly what you know. She's wanting and yeah, yeah, absolutely. So were you always sort of interested in photography? Like, did you grow up? Sort of surrounded? Yeah, artistic people or not? Well, I've always had the creative side, I've always loved like, dancing. Dancing is like, a part of me also. But right now, it's just not something that, you know, I've, I could, you know, spend time doing so growing up, like even art and stuff I've always loved creating. So in photography, you know, growing up with my friends, they we love taking photos of each other. But nothing like I said, growing up, nothing too serious. It was more of a hobby, but the more I, you know, I think it started when I first bought my DSLR which is, you know, like the, the big camera that I have, and it's, it's when I started to really, like started to learn about photography about composition. And like I said, doubt, my friend was a big part of that. He taught me a lot about photography. And being because I started in the wedding industry, it's there's a lot of detail to capture a lot of emotion, a lot of you know, it's, it's, there's a lot to learn from it. So it was a really huge part of my, how I develop my photography now. But now I I focus more on like families, expecting mums expecting parents, couples, and babies and toddlers. So that's where I kind of yeah, my passion grew into that. And yeah, I just love like watching the dynamics among families. Yeah, and children how they play and how they have so there's just so much joy like they find joy and everything and anything. So it's lovely to be able to capture that that innocence and just pure joy. Hmm. Yeah, that's it isn't like something we see is really mundane, or we take for granted. They're really drawn to something and they're like, fascinated by like tiny details. Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. Yeah. It's super interesting. Yeah. And I noticed I was looking on your Instagram feed you use the ocean a lot in your photos. Is that something that are connected to as well? Yeah, just the beach of I love the beach. I love going to the beach. My toddler loves the beach. I mean, if she while she sees the water she just kind of goes for it you know? And I had to kind of hold her in because otherwise she'll just keep going she loves so she it's there's just something about out another water that really calms me. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And I guess you to your your subjects like you people that you've photography you're photographing, they probably quite relaxed too because it's you know, it's a space Yeah, most people feel comfortable in. They can just be themselves. Yeah, exactly. And that's it helps because because my style is more natural, more relaxed, it helps that ambience it helps set that tone. And I love doing it during sunset so I love I really love Golden Hour, which is about an hour before the sunset. That lighting is just because I use natural lighting in my in my photography. Even if I do indoors, I utilize natural lighting. So it's it's just there's something about that lighting during sunset. That's just so beautiful. Oh yeah, absolutely. And the funny thing is like, every, every time I do a sunset session, it's never the same. You think, you know, like, oh, the sunsets, you know, as the sunsets is the same lighting, but it's not it's just it's different. And it's that uniqueness. It's so beautiful. Yes, I love it. So even if two people have got like this roughly the same time, they're gonna look different then the same. Yeah, even the same place, same place, same time. Different, just different lighting. Yeah, it's cool, isn't it? It's really fascinating that people would love that too. Like, no one really wants to have exactly the same photos have a vision of what they what they'd like. And, but it turns out, not exactly the same. Even if it's similar. It's not exactly the same, which is, you know, it's lovely to see the differences sorry, forgive my lack of geographical knowledge. These are Auckland on the coasts. Now, well, we're kind of I have to, to be able to get to like the beaches. I have to drive quite a bit because we're like, I'm right. We're right in the center. I live in South Auckland, which the nearby beach like actual beach that I go to the west along the west coast is about maybe 15 minutes from here. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. And even the east coast beaches. It's about a safe half an hour. Yeah, right. Yeah. So your your though, hang on while I'm talking to you. I'm just going to bring him back up. Sorry. I'm really interested in when I talk to people I love to know them when the weather and all of a live. I'm like, I find it really fascinating. I see. So you're right up you're like right in. I say Oh, that would be cool place to be because you kind of like like you said you have access to Yeah, we're surrounded by beaches north. But yeah, in South Auckland, it's most like you have to do a better driving to get to. To the beaches. Yeah. But still, it's no it's not like, I don't know. It's not. It's not unaccessible you know, no, you can do it and it's not enraged. Yeah, that's the word. And like when when we were in Philippines, you have to drive six hours to a beach to make a trip out of it. It's not just and I think we're so blessed to be I were so blessed to be in New Zealand now where you know, you get to you could drive half an hour and get to a a wonderful beach, you know, a safe beach where the kids could play you know? Yeah, because not all people could have that. Oh, absolutely. I think I think when you're in a place like that you sort of take it for granted a little bit because he like it's so easy. But yeah, where I live I live well we're Brett 2530 minutes from the beach. But I also there's a really amazing swimming place about 20 minutes like on the way to the beach 20 minutes there. And it's called the little blue lake and it's this this naturally occurring like big like hole basically it's all got eight meter cliffs all around it and it's just this stunning place and we go there lately because it's been really hot we've been going there like every day I was just there last night for you. How lucky are we like we're in this amazing place it's 20 minutes down the road from our house like Yeah. Pretty special Yeah. So when you were pregnant were you still working doing your use second? What was sorry? What did you call it? Second cam second shooter. second shooter. Yeah, shooter. Yeah, we used to active taking photos but not so much. I think I stopped doing second shooting for weddings when I got married. It just after that things just got busy. You know, you adjust like with life as a wife, you know from being Single and and then you focus on much with work and because that was about around the time where I started working as well as you know, full time. So no, it's I kind of stopped and it became a hobby of whenever we would travel especially so my husband and I love traveling, especially during our, our, our anniversary, so we would go down to South Island, and we love to explore, you know, the different parts of South Island, and we would just do a lot of road trips. And I would do a lot of photography then like when we would travel. But other than that there was little or no time to actually pick up my camera. Yeah, yeah. So when you're when you had your daughter, and you and you sort of you, this renewed sort of passion for your photography came back, how long did it take you to decide to make a business out of it? I guess. It took me like, a solid year and a half. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. Like when my baby, when maybe we came along, you know, it's I had more more time being at home. And when she was a baby, you know, like I would hold her, I would hold her when she naps, she was a bit huge and settled that she didn't want to sleep in on her on her bassinet. And so there's a lot of time where I would hold her and so I would have a lot of ideas. You know, and if I decided that every time she would turn every month when it was on the 29th which is her birthday is 29th of January. So on the 29th Every month we would capture I do it like a photo shoot for her. So and I managed to get getting my husband to come do the photo shoot as well with us. He Yeah, so every month I would do that. And it became I just became like, my passion grew, you know, like you, you just I loved it. I was able to edit her photos, you know, as she was sleeping, I would do a lot of editing. So it really I think it became a good platform. For what I do now, if I didn't have that I don't think I would have had the same passion and same kind of standards with my work. Yeah, so that was a big part of it. When she was born. I had that though. It became like a project for me. Something that I had going for me, you know. So that was nice. And looking back, you know, now she has these photos, and I could look back on them and see how much she grew. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's really special. I'm gonna ask how did you go on the 29th of February when it wasn't a leap year? Actually, there was a leap year on where she was born. Oh, me. 20 Was it? Oh, I remember I think I think there was. And then the following year, there wasn't. So after she turned one year, I kind of stopped doing it, you know? Yeah. It became too much, you know, like, she would start to move around. And it was it became impossible to kind of have her stay still. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but added the added element then of movement, even when she was about nine months old when she was searching. Yes, exactly. I had to have the most ridiculous props, like I would get socks in front of the camera and just to try and entertain her better to look at the camera. So I've done it all like moms would say, you know, my clients would say I don't know how you would able to get my capture my my baby or my little one because they're so you know, they're, they want to explore, they can't just sit in front of the camera. And I tell them it's that's not my style. I my my two year old is loves to explore, she would not sit still. And I don't believe in kind of forcing, you know the kids to kind of sit there and stare at the camera and look at look at the camera to smile because the more they explore the more happy they are, the more natural they are. And then you don't need to guide them you just follow them around and kind of be ready when that when that moments there. And that's the thing. That's the challenge for me as a photographer is to catch those moments without them having to be conscious of the camera. Yeah, absolutely. And you'll see like their true personalities comes out because they're not they're not thinking about the camera in their face. They're just exploring and being living their life like normal. No, because when when you ask people to pose or when you ask people to smile, they kind of they post but they once you say okay, we'll take a five min. In a break, they relaxed. They tend to like that. And it's the most candid posts. And I like to. I like to take snaps of that too. Yeah. Yeah. When I say you know, it will take a five minute break. I don't actually mean that. I just wanted to relax and then I snapped them photos. But you know, you get a lot of you get a lot of good photos out of us. Oh, yeah, I bet. Yeah. Cuz we might see it like, as soon as, as soon as you're conscious of the camera is you do you tense up? And then you, you think, or how do I have to look? So you're thinking, you're trying to change how you look? You're not just being itself. So yeah, I have that. That's really, that's a great idea. When you're talking about doing your photos with your daughter, you said you had to have something going on for you. Was it important for you at that point to have something for yourself? Yeah, it was, I think, because especially when COVID hit, you know, and we were doing a lot of lockdown. It was important for me to have a project for myself. That is outside the routine of taking care of baby taking care of everything, you know, running the household. Yeah, you know, something that was for myself. A break? Because then once I, once I had that, it was kind of like I was able to, I don't know, be more relaxed. Yeah, when I take care of her, and she could feel that. Yeah, that's really that's a very common thing that moms talk about. If they've got something for themselves, then when they when they return to their parenting. They are, they're relaxed, they're less stressed. They've got more patients like all this, you know, you feel you feel like yourself, your needs have been met, so then it's easier to sort of meet other people's needs, I suppose. That makes Yeah, yeah. And you also mentioned dancing before, what style of dancing, like I used to help cop was because I was in the wedding industry. And I have a lot of friends during you know, that time. My age, it was the marrying age. Like, you know, 22 So I had a lot of friends. They're like 20s and 30s. So I would help them choreograph their first dance. But it was like a mixture. It was really a mixture. I did interpretive dancing. I at some point did hip hop, but now something like that, but it was a crucial part of me like growing up. I dance since I was able to walk. Yeah, right. Yeah, so it was it's kind of just been but I never turned that into a business. It was it was it was basically I'm I have this creativity that I need to kind of express and whether that be in dancing or music, because I play the guitar also, or just anything but the photography, I think that was really something where I could it worked a lot for our schedule. Because with my photography, I could whenever I have to drive out to the beaches to meet my clients and do a photo photo shoot there. I get time for myself, you know, when you drive out there when you drive back that hour of session where you're just you're not thinking about anything else. But you're, you know, the people in front of you their story there, you're able to share life with them in that hour that you meet them and get to know their family a little bit more. I think that's so special, but that time away from my family enables me to come back and sorry, that's okay. That's okay. enables me to come back home and just, I missed them. I missed them so much. And I'm excited to see them. Yeah. So it's like, you have this renewed energy when you come back. Yeah, brand new energy. Exactly. Absolutely. Yeah. You mentioned about what works for your schedule. So how do you how do you schedule your clients around? Yes, so I do photoshoots and the weekends or at night, because sunset right now it's not until 845. So usually I come out at seven 730, something like that. So it works so well. And on weekends as my husband can watch her, and it's good time for them to bond. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I'm not at all worried. Yeah, you can relax and do your thing. You said you're not thinking about what's happening back at home. You're you're concentrating on in front of you. Yeah. Your mom still with you in in New Zealand? Yeah, she is. Yeah. Yeah. So she's for sometimes she would she would be with them. Yeah, she would be with her. We call her. Lola. Lola. Is grandma in Tagalog? Oh, that's special should be to have it with these two. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And obviously, she's I'm an I'm an only child. So she's, she loves spending time with her only granddaughter. Yeah. And you mentioned you've got your husband, obviously, you've got you've got some good support around you to be able to, to make it work. Yeah. I definitely, I don't think I'll be able, because my husband is my biggest support when it comes to my photography. He just pushes me to, you know, keep going and just encourages me, you know, and he loves that I do this. So it helps a lot when you have huge support like that. Because when you start a business, it's there's a lot of hurdles that come along the way. And it will really kind of question why would you do if you still want to keep going with what you're doing? But having support from your family from your friends it? Yeah. It's a big thing. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Do you ever sort of experience mum guilt or have any thoughts about mum guilt? That topic at all? Yeah, I, if, if we did, you know, I had a look at like, the definition of mom guilt. Because I've heard you know, you you hear once you become a mom, you hear you hear that term. It was a foreign concept to me before I had my baby, you know, and I looked it up answers, you know, where is that feeling when you feel like you haven't done enough or you're not doing? You think you're not doing everything? Right? Like there's something that that needs? That you're not? You, you feel like you're not doing everything right, that there's something missing? Yeah. So you have that feeling? And if by that definition, yes, I there, there have been moments, of course, where you feel like you you're not doing the right thing, because there's no manual that comes with, you know, being a first time parent. Everything is you to you. And even before when when I was pregnant, you know, you have friends, families, and they mean well, they give you advice, but you don't know exactly what it's like until the baby comes. And some things apply to you. That don't apply to other moms. Yeah, no, you do. Yeah. You deal with what comes in your child. Your children have different personalities as well. So you adapt to that. So yeah, there have been moments where I feel like oh, you don't know what I'm doing. But a big part of of the way we cope with that is our faith in God like my husband, I have such strong faith in God and it's it's a big part of how we parent and how we cope with the struggles and the challenges that come with it. I think all of us have. You know, we all have our different challenges when it comes to parenting with every stage. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, for sure. And then in terms of your work, do you sort of feel like I shouldn't be doing this? I should be home with my daughter, like, Does that ever crossed your mind? Or you're like, No, this is my thing. I know she's fine. It not at the moment, because of the schedule. With my photography, I think it's a nice balance. And that was one of the reasons why I'm not going to wedding photography. Just yet anyway, I'm not sure if I ever will. But with my with a solid photography, with my niche with families, and you know, maternity sessions, even like newborn and couples, like engagements I can I can do engagements that the type of sessions I do allows me to just be away from my family for a little bit of time. Majority of the work I do for my photography is actually either the editing or the admin around it. And I can do that at home. I can do the editing when she's napping when she's asleep at night. Yeah, I do the admin around the clock kind of around her schedule, basically. So it works well, because I have time away for a little bit from them. And I'm also able to do a little bit of work around her schedule. So right now it went because I'm not doing wedding photography, it works so well. But if I do, it's going to change a lot because wedding photography is a whole different ballgame where you're away for like the entire day. But even as I think about how I'm going to do that I need to prepare you know, food for her before I go out for the day. And then you don't come back until very late at night. Once the wedding has finished. And then even after the event, you have to backup the file. So if even as I do sessions now, after I come back, I always do backup. So you have to backup the raw files, save them in multiple storage, because the worst thing that can happen is have your photos deleted. You can't get back in time. But yeah, no film, there's no way to I mean, with digital files. Now, you know, there's some way to kind of retrieve some if you've lost them. But I don't ever want to go down that path because I have lost files before not for photography. But when I was studying, I would lose like reports and essays when my USB or laptop crashes. And it's not a good feeling. Oh, no, it is. It is the worst feeling in the world. I did it the other day. Actually, I was I don't know how I did. I was writing on a website. And then somehow I clicked back on my mouse and was like, how did I do that? And then it went back and everything just disappeared. So I thought I'll go forward and it'll be there. And it wasn't I was like, Oh, I just do it again. Anyway, I'm digressing. You're listening to the art of being a mom with my mom, Alison Newman. So the other thing I'd like to chat to moms about is identity. So how the concept of themselves might have changed when they became a mum. And you've sort of talked a little bit about it was really important for you to have that creative outlet, doing doing your photography when your daughter was younger, how did you sort of feel about that? That concept of identity change? It's, I mentioned before that like, my husband and I have such strong faith in God and my identity is also rooted on that. And yes, I'm a wife, I'm a mom. I'm a friend, I'm a daughter, but first and foremost, I'm a child of God. And when when I my beliefs, my belief system, my my faith in God, the truth, his truth from from the word it fuels everything that I do in fuel was how I I take care of my husband. It fuels how I become a mom For my two year old, it was how I do my craft, how I take care of the clients that I have in the work the standard of work that I do. So my identity because my identity is secure, and that it helps kind of it helps me figure out all the you know, the challenges, the how I navigate the different parts of my life? And, yeah, it's, it's definitely I would definitely say, you know, I have this thing, when I talk to my friends, where they asked, you know, you, you go from here to here, when you're engaged and from your from being engaged to being married, you go from here to there, it's like a step up. In terms of like, you know, more responsibilities, the different changes, you have to adapt to live a different lifestyle. And then when you become a parent, it's more like, there's this whole 360 Yeah, or one AB, just a huge turn of your life, that lifestyle is completely changed your your, so your identity definitely changes. Having a kid changes you, you know? Because suddenly, you don't look at everything the same way. Hmm. Even as you go. In every decisions that you make, you now have a little one to think of you now when you go to with my husband, I used to go to mall to, you know, around the malls in shopping. And we never really noticed parent rooms. When he became a parent. Yes. Like, where is the best parents? That kind of when, when you didn't have a kid kind of bypass you. Yeah. You just know about those things, right? No, it's not. And now when you go to when you travel somewhere, you used to just think about where you where your destination is. But now, as a mom, you think about all the different. Is there a playground nearby? Is there is it somewhere accessible? You know? Can I take my Prime Day? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So you're Yeah, you're definitely your identity definitely changes in terms of you don't think the same way. You have somebody that you care for now, it's not just about you. It's not just about your husband or your comfort. It's, it changes completely changes. So yeah, yeah, it's about navigating those identities, you know? Yeah. I like the way you put that, that your faith helps you. Helps you position like helps you navigate that you've always got some solid that you can come back to. Yeah, that's always there. Yeah, that's really nice. I love that. Yeah. That's because it's it's so it's so hard. It's all the changes that you have to go through it's hard enough as it is, it will definitely challenge like the way you think it helps you, man the learning. I mean, how much have I grown in the two years that I've had, you know, my toddler Yeah, it's it's just and the learning curve is like dude, like straight up in the air like you don't even get a warm up to it. It's just like, No when the during the day we when you chatting or you know, you you obviously have a connection to your clients, you don't just, you know, you don't just go snap, snap snap. You've talked about how you like to chat with them and get to know them a bit. Do you sort of find just say you've taken a photo of like a couple, like a pregnancy shot. And then you make them when they're, when they've got their baby? Do you find that people sort of share how they're going and how like the adjustments like do you do come across this sort of identity shift or change when you're chatting to your clients as well? Yeah, definitely. And because the you know, you I don't like to pry. I kind of they when they ask me a question about my life, or you know, I tell them about my kid I share stories about My baby and and they in turn share stories, you know how they're able to relate to that? And yeah, you see how it changes, it changed them. There's this connection also when you both know your parents, there's this kind of mutual understanding. And you know, you don't need to kind of say it, it's their fat connection where you know, you understand you understand exactly, you know, it might not be exactly the same story. Again, different babies different style of parenting, different exposures, different kinds of help that they get, or I get, but I think the main, the main thing that I always hear is the complete change of lifestyle. You know, it definitely changes you as a person. Yeah. Oh, gosh, it does. Amazing. It's hilarious. When you think back on what you used to do. I always say to people, I feel like I wasted so much time. Because when you have a child, it's like, any little bit you can get for yourself. Like, what can I do with my time? I still think that also I say I say to myself, I had so much time on my hand before I didn't even realize it. Yeah, that's it, isn't it? You just you didn't realize that? Nothing's free life, like, and then all of a sudden is like, oh, yeah, and now now it's not your schedule anymore. Yeah. Especially when you have little ones you know, it's definitely not your, like, time anymore. It's just you have to you cater, you cater first for your child, what do they need? How can I work around around this? So yeah, that's been, that's been an adjustment also, especially now that that pursued, you know, my photography, you do, you do need to. You can't just pick up your camera up and go and come back and then do all the other work that you need to do. Right. When you want to do them. You have to work around your baby schedule, because there he's she's still my priority. She's, you know? Yeah, yeah, that's it. And it's not like she can wait, like, you know, you just stay there while I do my thing. You'll be like, this doesn't sit there. Okay. I just need to backup my files. And then add that Do you understand this? You'll just look at me and say, milk come on priorities from priority. She'll point at the cupboards and say, yum, yeah. Which is food. And, okay, I'm gonna have to do this later because she's a sweetheart Can I ask you a little bit about having grown up in the Philippines will only listen to you were a little bit. What's the culture there like in terms of mothering? I was speaking to a lady the other day, who's from her, she's from China. And she said, mums in China, maybe not so much these days, but certainly in like her mum's era, their job was just to look after the children and look after the family, they didn't have any sort of interests for themselves. They weren't pursuing, you know, art or music. Their job was just to look after the family. Is there any sort of anything you can share around that in relation to the Philippines? What sort of culturally like mother's roles would have been? Yeah, we are very communal people like we we a lot you would see when you go to the Philippines, you will see a lot of families like living together with their in laws, or even even if they're not living together in the same house. Their houses are pretty much nearby. Like right next to each other. Yeah. So not all, but there's a lot like that. And you know how there's that saying, you know, you you raise your kid. What is that saying? Makes you feel a village? Yeah, it takes a village to raise this kid. Yes. That's exactly like Philippines. Yeah, you have that village. Everyone kind of helps out. Um, and they the concept of, you know, sleeping in a separate room is very, it's not popular there. One because sometimes the circumstances don't allow you it's Philippines is is not like New Zealand where you you have the luxury sometimes of having multiple rooms in the house sometimes, you know, you go into provinces and there's just one room and all of the families stay there. And that's the kind of, you know, for a lot of families that's the reality that they have to deal with. So yeah, co sleeping is not an option. I mean, you know, it's it's the only option. Yeah. And then so the kind of parenting that they have it's a lot of a lot of people help out which is a good thing which you get a mums get a lot of support in that sense. They can also have help you know, they can they sometimes have their their animals or their their own moms that come like almost every day that helped you know, who can help them out? Yes. How am I just making sure that we know he's still there. And this is kind of like it I mean, this this type of I guess, as as we talk and she's in the background, that's kind of how our community that's that's it. So you can't you engage them in every activity. They are they socialize like that there. They grew up there with their cousins and their their siblings together. They go out of the house and all the kids are on the street. Yeah, even even now, even at the age of having cell phones and, you know, computers, you still I love that about the Philippines, you go out of the house, and they're still there playing. Yeah, you see the neighbors kids? And yeah, because it's the kind of environment it's the kind of community that they have. Probably not right now with COVID, though. No. Oh, different story, hi, all different stories, or when the pandemic there and it's completely and completely changed the world. And on that to your daughters, too. So you've basically she the only life that she's known is during a pandemic, like that would have been challenging for you. I mean, you did mention before about having your, you know, your photography is sort of your outlet, during the pandemic, but literally her life has only existed during the pandemic, like that's extraordinary thing to think of, isn't it? Yeah. It's yeah, let's put it this way. We had so many lock downs. And then the last lap locked down and it's the, the longest to my husband for a year he's been telling me you know, I think we should we should build the deck, you know, just for the little one. I keep saying no, I'm not back at work. Yeah, it's a huge investment. I don't think we should go for it. And then after that locked down, I said to him, let's contact somebody to build the deck, because this is to go out and expel all that energy. She just needs to be out out of the house. Let's build that back. Oh, yeah. That's it in a nutshell. Isn't it? Really? Yeah. They need to you need she needs to explore she needs to play with other kids. And yeah, they need that stimulation. Otherwise you as a mom go crazy. Oh, yeah. It's like cabin fever. You're just trapped Correct. Right now I've got a list of all they'll be nice to do, you know, list for my photography. One of the main thing that I want to I want to launch go for it to go live is my website. I mean, I've been wanting to have a website to showcase all of my work there, you know, in one place, because right now I have my Instagram and I have my Facebook page, but I'm working on my website. Yeah, but I'm gonna throw in that maybe podcast in the future. Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So this is the thing, isn't it? Like, I've no, there's no, when you're in your creative person, like, you've talked about your dancing and guitar and photography, like, there's no limits to it, you know, if you want something, just do it, you know? Oh, great. Yeah, absolutely. And I think creative people are really good at doing that. Just giving things a try, you know? Yeah. And mostly without expectation, you can just try something because you think you want to try it, you know? And if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, it doesn't. And it's like, oh, I tried. You know, yeah, you can't you don't look back and say, what if? You know, the what ifs? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that's another thing with now I'm a mom, I'm able to stay at home with my that's another thing why I decided to pursue my photography is i, it enables me to stay with her. Yeah, you know, it's not it's, I don't do it only for the financial reasons. But I can't ignore the fact that it also helps. So it's, you know, this is the timeout I have when I was working before my photography, I always wondered, oh, what would it be like to you know, have my own photography business, but like I said to you, it was more of a hobby thing, I was never going to turn this into a business one because I was too scared to I was more comfortable with just shooting for myself, then also providing it, you know, professionally asked for clients to have that expectations. But now I'm in the season of my life where if I have the courage, you can actually you're able to do it. You know, it gives me that platform, because now I have the time. Whereas before, it's mostly Oh, one day, maybe? Yeah. Whereas now, I'm in it, you know? Yeah. That's awesome. Good on. Yeah. That's good. You gave me opportunities they gave me you know, the opportunity to come meet you and talk to you. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I tend to, you know, meet a lot of people that I wouldn't have met through my photography, and that alone is a blessing to me. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I feel like that with this podcast, like, I'm talking to people that I would have had no reason to talk to you ever before. And it's wonderful meeting such amazing women, and learning so much. Like I love learning, particularly about, like, I love photography, I used to, I never did it professionally. But I used to take, do photos for weddings and stuff back in the day where it was on film. And I love the details of stuff like I was really drawn to, you know, like, the photos of the, you know, rings and like people's expressions, watching the wedding and things like that. I loved that. But it was just, you know, a hobby that I did a couple for friends, but my main thing is easic. So, when I talked to artists, it's so inspiring for me, because I'm like, Oh, I could give that. Like it's just, it's opened up all these new new ideas for me, and just fun things I can try for myself and learning. I really, really enjoy it. It's so much fun. That's good, because you need you do need that outlet. Hmm, absolutely. Yeah. Even if it's, I mean, some people resort to like cooking or baking and other people and to trying out different things that they've never tried before, or like me something that they've always wanted to try but they have been so afraid to try but also don't have the time nor enough motivation to actually pursue it. Yeah, and now and now that I do you know, I find and and my husband said you know, because I've been going back and forth on deciding whether to pursue you know, to pursue this business or not. And he said to me, you know, at least you won't have to look back and said you didn't try if it didn't work out then didn't work out it was a time in your life where you had you know, you were able to just try something new and just try and enjoy it just try enjoy the process all the things that you learn from it and I have been learning so much so much and I'm sure you have to as you started this journey Yeah. Oh, that's great. And like having the support like you said before, that's just you know, you can't you can't do things without having someone like that. Yeah, yeah, no, you can. Yeah, I put on him. You, thanks so much for coming on. It's been such a lovely chat this morning. And it's lovely to have some of your daughter's energies with Jana, thank you for having us. I'm sorry, I couldn't stay in just the one room and oh my lord, in order to oh, I mean, this is thing that we need people to. It's mum life, isn't it? It's what we do. The realities of being having to try and work. That's it, isn't it? But we make it work, don't make it work, whatever works. Thanks for your company today. If you've enjoyed this episode, I'd love you to consider leaving us a review, following or subscribing to the podcast, or even sharing it with a friend who you think might be interested. If you or someone you know would like to be a guest on the podcast. Please get in touch with us via the link in the show notes. I'll catch you again next week for another chat with an artistic mom

Emma Stenhouse Indigenous Australian artist S4Ep100 Listen and subscribe on Spotify and itunes/Apple podcasts This week on the podcast we are celebrating 100 episodes ! Hip hip horray! My guest is Emma Stenhouse, an Indigenous artisan and Ngarrindjeri Woman who is the mother of 3 children. Emma can be described as many things - indigenous artisan, Ngarrindjeri Woman, artist, weaver, printmaker, designer and sewist. Emma Stenhouse is taking the first steps on her journey in belonging and becoming connected with her Ngarrindjeri heritage. Her work is predominantly inspired by nature and connection to country using elements of contemporary art and traditional Iconography. Emma ignites the flame of love for Country in other hearts and minds. A multifaceted creative, she explores diverse practices. Each piece is braided with learning, exchange between artist and viewer, a continuation of culture - a platform for cross cultural exchange An experienced early childhood educator, Emma imparts her knowledge of culture, implementing programming including traditional indigenous creative practices guided by Gunditjmara elders. A gatherer and sharer of knowledge, she uses this to guide her own journey. She builds capacity for others to learn and develop their own connections. Emma's story spans across four decades, desert and sea; as she explores the challenges and monuments of her cultural growth, connection to Country and being an Artist. Moving through time and space, from the bush to the beach her stories are formed by her deep relationship to land and guided by strong female role models in her community. **Emma’s epiosde contains mentions of the loss of a child** Emma - website Podcast - instagram / website If today’s episode is triggering for you in any way I encourage you to seek help from those around you, medical professionals or from resources on line. I have compiled a list of great international resources here Music used with permission from Alemjo , my new age ambient muic trio. When chatting to my guests I greatly appreciate their openness and honestly in sharing their stories. If at any stage their information is found to be incorrect, the podcast bears no responsibility for guests' inaccuracies. Podcast transcript at the bottom of the page Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of The Art of Being A Mum Podcast. I'm beyond honoured that you're here and would be grateful if you could take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star review in iTunes or wherever you are listening. It really helps! This way together we can inspire, connect and bring in to the light even more stories from creative mums. Want to connect? Take a screenshot of this episode and share it on Instagram tagging me in with @art_of_being_a_mum_podcast I can't wait to connect. And remember if you or somebody you know would like to be a guest on the podcast, get in touch ! I love meeting and chatting to mammas from all creative backgrounds, from all around the world! Thank you! Alison acknowledges this Land of the Berrin (Mount Gambier) Region as the Traditional Lands of the Bungandidj People and acknowledge these First Nations people as the custodians of the Region. Ch eck out more episodes ..... 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,520 Welcome to the Art of Being a Mum podcast where I, Alison Newman, a singer, songwriter and Aussie mum of two, 2 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:15,400 enjoys honest and inspiring conversations with artists and creators about the joys and issues they've encountered 3 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,480 while trying to be a mum and continue to create. 4 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:25,000 You'll hear themes like the mental juggle, changes in identity, how their work's been influenced by motherhood, 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:33,440 mum guilt, cultural norms and we also strain to territory such as the patriarchy, feminism and capitalism. 6 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:39,600 You can find links to my guests and topics we discuss in the show notes along with a link to the music played, 7 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:46,440 how to get in touch and a link to join our supportive and lively community on Instagram. 8 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:54,120 I'll always put a trigger warning if we discuss sensitive topics on the podcast but if at any time you're concerned about your mental health 9 00:00:54,120 --> 00:01:00,840 I urge you to talk to those around you, reach out to health professionals or seek out resources online. 10 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:08,840 I've compiled a list of international resources which can be accessed on the podcast landing page, alisonnewman.net. 11 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:13,400 The Art of Being a Mum would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land and water 12 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:17,160 which this podcast is recorded on as being the Bowendig people. 13 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:26,200 I'm working on land that was never seeded. 14 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:31,880 Hello and welcome to episode 100 of the Art of Being a Mum podcast. 15 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:37,960 It is an absolutely amazing experience to say that I have stuck with this for 100 episodes 16 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:46,600 and that I have been lucky enough to have 100 mums and a few dads hang out with me and want to share openly and honestly. 17 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:52,920 And for you guys to listen. Thank you so much for being a part of this, it is such a wonderful experience for me 18 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:59,800 and I hope it can continue. My work hours are getting a little bit more flexible so fingers crossed 19 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:06,440 there'll be more podcasts to come. But of course in the meantime please enjoy my written article series 20 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:12,120 which is pretty much the same as the podcast but it's completely answered by my guests. 21 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:19,400 So I give them the questions, they write back the answers and I collate them and put it into the website. 22 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:25,240 So you can check those out at alisonnewman.net slash articles. 23 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:32,600 My 100th guest this week is Emma Stenhouse. Emma's an Indigenous artisan and Narangjerri woman 24 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:40,200 and she's the mother of three children. Emma can be described as many things, Indigenous artist, 25 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:47,240 weaver, printmaker, designer and sewist. Emma's taking the first steps on her journey to belonging 26 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:53,800 and becoming connected with her Narangjerri heritage. Her work is predominantly inspired by nature 27 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:59,160 and her connection to country using elements of contemporary art and traditional iconography. 28 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:05,960 Emma ignites the flame of love for country in other hearts and minds. A multi-faceted creative 29 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:12,120 she explores diverse practices and each piece is braided with learning, exchange between artist 30 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:18,040 and viewer, a continuation of culture and a platform for cross-cultural exchange. 31 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:24,520 An experienced early childhood educator Emma imparts her knowledge of culture implementing 32 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:30,920 programming including traditional Indigenous creative practices guided by Gundurama elders. 33 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:37,000 A gatherer and share of knowledge Emma uses this to guide her own journey. She builds capacity for 34 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:44,360 others to learn and develop their own connections. Emma's story spans across four decades across 35 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:50,440 desert and sea as she explores the challenges and monuments of her cultural growth, connection to 36 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:56,840 country and being an artist. Moving through time and space from the bush to the beach her stories 37 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:03,160 are formed by her deep relationship to land and guided by strong female role models in her community. 38 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:09,240 Please be aware that Emma's episode contains discussions about the loss of a child. 39 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:17,000 Throughout today's episode you'll hear music from Indigenous Australians, our First Nations people 40 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:23,640 and this is used with permission. Thank you so much for tuning in again it is such a 41 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:29,160 such a momentous moment such a moment to be celebrating 100 episodes and I'm so thrilled 42 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:54,520 that you're here and I hope that you'll hang out with me again in the future. 43 00:04:54,520 --> 00:05:03,400 Thank you so much Emma it's a pleasure to welcome you to the podcast today thanks for coming on. 44 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:10,440 Thank you very much for having me I'm very excited. Oh awesome so you're in Western Victoria 45 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:15,160 in Warrnambool which isn't that far from me which is pretty exciting. I think you're the 46 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:21,000 closest person I've had on apart from people in my own town. Oh wow um yeah I've been to Warrnambool 47 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:26,200 I've been to Mount Gambier a couple of times um just for work so I haven't really been over there 48 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,440 to check it out too much but um I'd love to go over and have a wander around there's some lakes 49 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:35,640 or something close by to you guys that I want to go yeah swimming in. Yes oh yes so we've got the 50 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:41,320 Blue Lake which is like our water source which is like the most beautiful blue sort of November 51 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:47,160 onwards um but yes the little blue lake is that's our like local swimming spot that we love to go 52 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:52,840 like our family um and it's like a just a just a sinkhole in the middle of a paddock out in the 53 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:58,520 middle of nowhere and it's freezing most of the time but for a very short period of time in summer 54 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:04,120 it's really really good so it's pretty popular. I'm used to the colds um yeah I actually don't go 55 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:09,560 in the water here without a wetsuit so I'm a country kid I'm originally from Broken Hill so I 56 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:16,200 grew up um in the desert and loving the heat so it's been a real um shock to the sister moving 57 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:23,320 here and adjusting to the climate because it's always so cold. Oh yeah look I can I can relate 58 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:26,680 to that and you're probably even colder than what we are because you're right near the ocean like 59 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:32,760 on the ocean there aren't you? Yeah we're literally um a block back from the beach so the wind is you 60 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:39,400 know always quite strong and very chilly. Yeah now my um mum used to have a horse that used to get 61 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:44,280 trained over there and they'd always send us videos of the horses like paddling in the water and I 62 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:50,840 always think god that looks so cold those poor horses. I know I know I walk the beach every day 63 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:57,560 and um watch them train the horses and yeah often just shudder looking at them and the jockeys who 64 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:04,360 who do actually like get in with them and oh yeah not my not my cup of tea but it is lovely to watch. 65 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:10,280 Yeah yeah no it'd be good having that around um so do you mind me asking what what brought you to 66 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:17,480 Born & Poop? Yeah so my husband's job we um both of us are born and bred in Broken Hill um and 67 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:23,080 I guess we went on a bit of a five-week holiday along the south coast of New South Wales 68 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:28,600 with our two sons um in a camper trailer and kind of did the off-grid thing a little bit 69 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:35,880 and then sort of moved back to town and thought oh why are we living here like it's beautiful 70 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:45,400 um and it's home but just the opportunities um for our kids just yeah I guess it's quite isolated 71 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:53,080 to live you know um in the far west of New South Wales so yeah my husband decided to try for a 72 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:58,200 sea change so he applied for the job in um Warrnambool and we told everyone a big fat lie 73 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:03,080 and told them we were going to Melbourne for the weekend and we secretly came to Warrnambool and 74 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:07,240 spent three days here and he had his interview and we you know scoped the place out and checked out 75 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:12,280 the schools and you know wondered if it would be okay for us to live here and then yeah um 76 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:17,320 he sort of got the call and said you've got the job and he left within sort of two weeks and 77 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:24,040 yeah I stayed home in Broken Hill with the kids until Lucky finished high school and then we moved 78 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:31,000 yeah just before Christmas so um I haven't looked back I mean it's the complete opposite um but I 79 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:35,960 feel really blessed I guess to have two beautiful homes that are so different to each other 80 00:08:35,960 --> 00:09:02,200 um yeah absolutely I love that that's a great great yeah best of both worlds yeah that's it 81 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:12,360 So you're an artist can you tell everyone what sort of style of art that you make 82 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:18,520 and what sort of mediums that you use? Sure so um I'm an Indigenous artist um a contemporary 83 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:25,640 Indigenous artist so I use traditional iconography um in a contemporary way I guess and my art is 84 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:35,000 about storytelling uh and the stories that I um create I guess uh sort of speak to um my journey 85 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:40,920 um in connecting to culture but also the strong women that have um guided me through this process 86 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:49,800 um I guess I was I sort of always knew I was Aboriginal but hadn't had that really strong 87 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:55,400 guidance in my life up until I turned 40 and sort of went oh this is missing in my life so 88 00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:03,240 yeah just re-established those um family connections and um yeah now really lucky 89 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:11,800 to be a full-time artist so um as far as my artwork I paint in I paint with acrylics um but 90 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:17,800 I kind of I can't limit myself I like to have a go at everything so um I've been making my own 91 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:22,200 ochre um watercolour that's sort of been happening the last couple of weeks um 92 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:33,000 with sort of guidance from lovely um Aboriginal elders and yeah I love printmaking just any 93 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:39,000 any sort of medium I guess um I'll have a crack at it. Well that'd keep things interesting though 94 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:44,120 wouldn't it like if you said I don't get bored at all. Yeah absolutely I've actually got one of your 95 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:49,880 when you said on the email that your your artwork is at Green Door here in Mount Gambier and I've 96 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:56,280 actually got um I can't remember what it was called now but it's um it's pink and it sort of 97 00:10:56,280 --> 00:11:02,200 goes in an arch. Oh yep. And there was a blue one that was kind of similar and um yeah unfortunately 98 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:06,840 I'm not in the normal place I am for recording you'd be able to see it behind me which would 99 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:15,880 have been really cool. I'm very grateful to Annie um she's been um a wonderful support to me but 100 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:23,000 not just me I mean female artists in general she has just really helped just all I guess um 101 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,480 yeah put ourselves out there a bit more and have that sort of 102 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:34,120 just that kind support she's she's just such a lovely warm person and really genuine um so yeah 103 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:38,520 I do feel really lucky and I know sort of um some of the other artists who have their work there 104 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:43,240 feel the same so very blessed. Yeah shout out to Annie if she's listening. 105 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:56,120 Oh dear. 106 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:10,520 Were you always um into painting and creating growing up? 107 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:19,160 Absolutely I can't actually remember a time where I wasn't making something so I remember 108 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:23,160 being a kid and you know just doing little drawings for my aunties um 109 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:32,520 my Nan was a dressmaker so I loved to watch her sew um and that's sort of something I had to go 110 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:38,600 at I guess um in my 30s that was that became quite a passion for me learning to sew and um 111 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:46,120 getting my all my Nan's old beautiful buttons and things like that and just um developing a real 112 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:54,840 strong sort of sense of textile and pattern and surface design um and then I've yeah I've 113 00:12:54,840 --> 00:13:00,120 went through another stage where it was all about screen printing so I went and you know got when 114 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:06,440 I did some courses and um yeah I had a little shop in Broken Hill where I used to run screen 115 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:14,840 printing workshops and I'd teach you know anyone I guess from sort of five years old up to 101 was 116 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:19,320 I went out to the nursing home and did a um we made tea towels with the residents out there and 117 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:25,000 yeah I was really lucky to I just yeah meeting people through my arts practice is like the biggest 118 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:31,160 gift ever. Yeah yeah and having that community and being able to share common a common interest 119 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:37,320 with people. Yeah absolutely yeah. So you mentioned that you're you've got your Indigenous heritage 120 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:46,120 has that always inspired what you're creating? It's always uh it's always been there in terms 121 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:51,800 of like I've had such a strong connection to country and nature like I think that's just an 122 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:58,680 innate thing that I've I've always had I've always been that outside kid and been fascinated in in 123 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:03,960 nature like you know just the simple things like a leaf you know the veins on a leaf they they're 124 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:10,360 captivating um you know dragonflies lizards all sorts of things I was the kid that was always 125 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:14,840 came home with you know a pocket full of rocks and a stick and you know a leaf or a feather 126 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:22,120 um so just having that real connection to country I think and then sort of you know in the last few 127 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:30,360 years really connecting with um with my family and learning learning about culture but on so many 128 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:37,320 different deeper levels um and just I guess allowing myself to acknowledge that knowing that 129 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:44,520 I've always had but um haven't had the guidance from family to to help me explore that. Yeah yeah 130 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:51,240 and yeah to sort of to take you into those deeper places and you talk about the um the traditional 131 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:56,040 imagery that you use was that something that you'd always sort of done or has that sort of come in 132 00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:03,080 more since you sort of connected? I've always I've always had a like I don't know I've always had 133 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:09,400 like um like questions and are wondering like where does where do I fit in in all of this 134 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:17,320 um like growing up in Broken Hill my dad um was Aboriginal but he left so I sort of grew up um 135 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:22,280 just with my mum and my brother and we you know we lived in a commission house on the outskirts of 136 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:28,040 town um there were a lot of other Aboriginal people and families that lived in our street 137 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:33,880 but I had really fair skin compared to them so I didn't sort of feel like I fitted in there 138 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:40,600 and then I was sort of too dark to be you know like one of the white kids I suppose so I've 139 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:45,560 always had this sort of feeling that I never sort of quite fitted in and I think that's led me to 140 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:52,200 want to explore like in a lot of aspects of life just I've always had that curiosity I suppose 141 00:15:53,080 --> 00:16:04,520 and so yeah I've really um consciously been I guess just peeling back layers if you will trying 142 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:10,040 to find out as much as I can not just about my family but um you know but culture in general and 143 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:17,240 and the traditional practices and how they've um how they've evolved over the years um you know 144 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:22,280 things even though we're still practicing the same art forms they've obviously you know evolved and 145 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:29,080 changed so I guess celebrating that and that learning where it comes from because that's 146 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,880 I guess that's the essence of it for me like that that the traditional stuff. 147 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:42,040 Mm-hmm yeah and I think um look coming from someone that has no education sort of not a 148 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:47,000 great understanding of Indigenous culture I like I love the patterns and the colours that people 149 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:55,000 use like the contemporary Indigenous art and it's just it seems so um flippant to just say 150 00:16:55,000 --> 00:17:00,040 that I like the patterns and the colours because it's such a there's so much deeper meaning in that 151 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:05,400 and the story that that that it actually tells if you know what I mean like there's just so much 152 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:10,360 depth in this that it's like you can't just look at it and go that looks nice you know what I mean 153 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:16,760 that would be just doing it like a disservice if that makes sense. Yeah absolutely yeah um and 154 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:23,960 that's interesting just because I don't know I think you know in the past sort of 10 years people 155 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:30,440 are becoming more aware and more connected to Aboriginal art like it's been viewed you know 156 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:37,800 around the world with such like wonder and you know the beauty of it but I guess people are 157 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:43,080 understanding that connection now so when we paint you know we're painting our story so um 158 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:50,920 yeah I think I think it's changing at the moment and that's really nice because that allows us to 159 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:55,320 connect with each other and I think you know after COVID we're all sort of like 160 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:59,640 leaning into that a bit more. Yeah looking for that looking for that connection and 161 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:20,920 meaning deeper meaning of life I think in general yeah people are striving for yeah. 162 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:35,880 So you mentioned uh your children briefly how many children you said you had two boys? 163 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:43,880 Yeah so I have um my eldest is 18 um and he's just finished high school and I feel really old but I 164 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:50,200 have an 18 year old son and can't believe it because it just happened in the blink of an eye 165 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:57,480 um and I have a 12 year old um son as well and he's just started high school so 166 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:04,680 it's that's all very new um and I just do want to acknowledge like I also have um a daughter who 167 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:11,160 would have been um 15 this year and she yeah she passed away um the day that she was born but she's 168 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:17,880 sort of been a very big part of my life and I acknowledge her I guess in all that I do um 169 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:25,400 having that experience um sort of changed me profoundly in a lot of ways but it's given me 170 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:30,360 the perspective that like life's short and if you want to do something then you just you should just 171 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:36,120 jump in and have a go like you don't really have anything to lose you like what's the worst that 172 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:40,760 can happen I feel like I've already been through the worst so yeah you know just having that 173 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,920 different perspective and and again you know that's what I guess that brings me back to like that 174 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:49,080 wanting to connect to family and knowing more about myself and where I've come from and 175 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:54,600 yeah I'm sorry sorry to hear about your daughter that's thank you um thank you for sharing it 176 00:19:55,240 --> 00:20:01,560 with us it's a it's you know it's a heartbreaking thing to live with um 177 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:07,960 I guess all I can say is that I've tried to focus on the positive things that have come from that 178 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:13,000 like the beautiful relationships that I've um have with other women and families who have been 179 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:21,560 through the same thing um and just my work with Red Nose so I um I work with Red Nose 180 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:33,240 at the moment through their Reconciliation Action Plan so um their WRAP um and just anyway I 181 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,480 and anyway I can support them because that like they've been a great support to my family. 182 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:43,160 No that's not that's really lovely so for people who who might not be familiar the Red Nose um 183 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:49,800 involved with the SIDS. So they were they were they're formerly um SIDS and KIDS yeah and they 184 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:56,280 amalgamated with SANS which is a South Australian organisation as well so they provide sort of 185 00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:02,760 education and support um and wonderful programs I guess for families like mine who were quite 186 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:08,120 isolated at that time we in Broken Hill we didn't have any like we didn't even have a grief counsellor 187 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:15,640 so um I sort of took it upon myself to um get some help not just for me there are a lot of other 188 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:21,800 women in the community as well so um I reached out to Red Nose and was lucky enough to have an 189 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:26,920 educator come out to Broken Hill and spend time with families but also the health professionals 190 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:32,760 as well um just giving them education on how to better support um families who have gone through 191 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:40,280 the loss of a child so yeah as much as things were you know really hard at that time I feel like I 192 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:51,560 tried to I don't know make positive choices in that situation yeah um sort of helped me 193 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:57,320 get through that time yeah and to be able to gain that help for other people and 194 00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:02,760 I guess there's always a sense of you know you don't you wouldn't wish this on anyone sort of 195 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:07,560 feeling so you know you're giving that that help to other people in your community as well 196 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:17,720 yeah absolutely but also um I guess you know we've come a long way I have in my family I guess I 197 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:23,640 was the third generation who had like lost a child so I had an auntie who'd lost a child and my 198 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:31,000 grandmother had lost children as well so just knowing their experience and how unfortunately 199 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:37,560 how it was dealt with you know back in those days to how far we've come right now um and the work 200 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:42,440 that I'm doing with SIDS and Kids is now about you know getting education out to remote communities 201 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:47,720 as well so particularly um you know our remote Aboriginal communities all over the country who 202 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:57,160 yeah just need a bit more support and um yeah it's it's a it's a tricky thing there's a lot 203 00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:04,200 sort of culturally that's you know it's hard like language you know barriers and just just distance 204 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:09,080 I guess and access to services so uh that's something I'm very passionate about as well 205 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:13,880 hmm yeah good on you for doing that 206 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:45,240 when you had you when you first became a mum did you go through like a really big sort of shift in 207 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:51,640 your identity where you sort of went who am I now you know am I still Emma I'm someone's mom like 208 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:58,680 where do where do I sort of fit in to this yeah oh and I think we all do like it's just that's just 209 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:05,720 um goes hand in hand with when you become a parent I when I had Lockie um 210 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:13,400 um oh gosh I remember just being so full of anxiety you know am I doing this right what am 211 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:18,680 I doing oh he's crying all the time he won't settle for me you know just that total lack of 212 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:25,320 confidence um that you have when you're a new mum even though like I had an amazing group of 213 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:33,320 friends and my my mum was amazing like I had lots of support um but I found like the first probably 214 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:40,200 12 months sort of quite challenging um and then I don't know has as he got older and I felt like 215 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:47,000 things got easier and I sort of found my way um I just loved every minute like him and I had such a 216 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:54,200 close um relationship you know I stayed at home until he went to school um and then I sort of I 217 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:59,800 studied early childhood education as well um because I just thought well I don't have the tools 218 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:04,680 so if I go and do a bit of study that's only going to help my relationship you know with my kids so 219 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:11,800 and that's been that's been a huge part of my life and still is like that the education and 220 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:18,600 that sharing with children is just I don't know they're just amazing like they just have that 221 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:24,840 joy that we sort of lose as we get older um and working with them just keeps that sort of relevant 222 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:30,120 for me it's still it's always there that joy that they have that sense of wonder at the world and 223 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:35,160 yeah I love that totally relate to that I'm an early childhood educator I work in a kindy at the 224 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:41,000 moment and it's like they just keep you so like grounded on what's actually important in life and 225 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:46,280 what's happening right in front of you oh absolutely you know the worst thing might have happened this 226 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:50,280 morning like at home if you know not the worst thing but you know the boys might have given me 227 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,200 trouble getting them up they didn't want to get up or they can't find their shoes or whatever but 228 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:59,880 at work it's like someone finds a rock and that is like the center of attention like this rock 229 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:04,920 where did it come from what is it what does it do you know it just brings you back to this 230 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:10,120 basis that sense of curiosity and I think that's why I've just been really passionate about early 231 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:15,720 childhood education for like the best part of 15 years it's played a huge role in my life 232 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:25,000 yeah and I'm really lucky now that I get to go and work in schools sort of with my arts practice and 233 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:34,040 sharing like my art techniques and just you know general art I guess techniques and different 234 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:42,120 mediums but coupling that with culture as well and just they're like little sponges you know like 235 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:47,240 they have just you share one thing with them and you know that that's the thing that they're going 236 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:52,200 to go home and talk to their parents about like it's yeah it's amazing it's so much fun it is 237 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:57,000 isn't it I just absolutely love it I only came to the industry probably 10 years ago and I just wish 238 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:03,720 I had a founder earlier because it's just the best it just keeps you just so I don't know on this other 239 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:10,680 level of looking at life I don't know oh and they definitely keep you grounded as well like you know 240 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,520 you can't like if you haven't been to the hairdresser for a little while and you've got some 241 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:19,080 sparkles on the side you know first thing they point out oh geez emma you're looking a bit 242 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:24,440 your hair's looking a bit strange today or you've got sparkles in your hair oh yeah I know 243 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:40,920 oh nothing gets past them does it they're just so honest so honest 244 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:58,360 do you like I know I think it's formally called like artist in residence like do you go into the 245 00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:04,200 schools and like work in on that sort of capacity with the children yeah well essentially yeah I've 246 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:12,760 we I do still call it like an artist in residence so um I have been who in the last little while so 247 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:19,240 I went out to work in a bill um you know again that's that like just that when you live remotely 248 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:24,760 you don't have the same opportunities as what you do like when you're in a more regional area so 249 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:28,840 I'm passionate about you know going out and sharing that with with those kids and they're like 250 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:36,360 yeah they have a completely different perspective on everything as well um last week I was over in 251 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:47,720 Camperdown and helped um Camperdown college we had six students um in the junior school and then 12 252 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:54,360 in the senior school and we created two murals so um yeah it's just expanding I guess their knowledge 253 00:28:54,360 --> 00:29:03,320 about culture but also reminding them to like not lose their wonder about how amazing nature is um 254 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:09,080 yeah and it's interesting like I present a nature collage and just you know when they come up and 255 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:14,040 grab the different uh bits and pieces of nature that I've collected you know that just that 256 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:19,560 oh like remember when we went to the beach and you know I went to the beach with my family and I saw a 257 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:27,160 shell like this or um you know just different bird feathers you know they'll talk about like the one 258 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:34,200 time that they got swooped by a magpie and you know just the stories and then I guess that just 259 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:41,640 reminds them to be yeah more connected to what's actually around them you know we're such a tech 260 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:48,040 a tech heavy society these days so getting back to nature is beneficial like on so you know there's 261 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:54,520 there's a gazillion studies about it but just go for a walk and yeah pick up a leaf and have a look 262 00:29:54,520 --> 00:30:00,520 at it or just go to the beach and have a wander you never know what you're going to find so um 263 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:09,480 yeah just that just that gentle reminder to be aware and um be connected. Yeah and the noticing 264 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:15,480 of things like I've like we're doing this term we're doing a book called um garden stew so it's all 265 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:21,240 the ingredients are all things we find in nature and there's this lovely little quokka that's like 266 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:26,360 the star of the book who's gathering all these things together so I've been asking my children 267 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:31,080 about just things they notice not necessarily at kindy but when they're on their way to kindy or 268 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:35,720 at home and some of the things that they share it's like you plant that little seed and then they 269 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,800 just start that it's like the whole world's open and like oh I noticed this and I noticed that and 270 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:45,160 there's a tree in my backyard I never realized it has these different color leaves and it's just so 271 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:50,200 I just love that it's just like boom and it all comes and seeing things in a different way and 272 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:56,840 yeah yeah I love it that just that's I guess that's the stuff that fills my cup up um yeah 273 00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:04,680 so yeah I've done I did camp it down last week I'm heading into work with um two Catholic schools 274 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:13,080 in Melbourne and then I come home Friday night and then I head off to Ararat for um a week to work 275 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:21,880 with students over there again um we're creating a mural and um I guess I just sort of see my role 276 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:26,600 as a facilitator the work the work is like their story and their voice I just sort of give them 277 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:32,520 literally the tools and a bit of guidance to help create their own story because I think um 278 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:37,880 um it's always really important to share your own story but to hear other people's as well 279 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:47,000 yeah that's it isn't there's no point going into to a particular area um and you know putting out 280 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:52,680 what you you think or what you feel or whatever it's yeah because we are so different and you 281 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,760 talked about you know these tiny towns like this Warwick and Beale and Camberdown like they're in 282 00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:02,120 the middle of like literally nowhere you know it's very different to you know say Waterville so 283 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:06,760 everyone's got their their own particular stories that relevant to where they are and how they 284 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:12,440 experience life yeah absolutely and it's interesting I guess like just going to Warwick and Beale you 285 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:18,280 know the pride that these kids have that they're farm kids and you know they grow they grow the 286 00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:25,480 stuff that helps the rest of us you know each like it yeah they're so proud of that um and even you 287 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:30,040 know in Camberdown you know they they all have farms like they're on dairy farms you know that 288 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:37,000 they have whole industries and they know so much about it that you know I was like oh well tell me 289 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:41,080 you know what what happens here and what happens there and how many times a year do you guys you 290 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:46,680 know harvest your crops and yeah and it was just amazing and these little kids at kinder you know 291 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:52,200 their parents were bringing in bags of grain and um chickpeas and stuff that they'd grown at their 292 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:58,840 house and I was it was fascinating like really fascinating like just to have that okay it goes 293 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:06,840 from like a dust bowl out here in Warwick and Beale on their farm to you know like in our food it's 294 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:14,600 but kids have made that connection and it's yeah it's amazing just the pride that they have knowing 295 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:21,240 that like their family's contributing that they're literally feeding the rest of Australia yeah it's 296 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,400 pretty massive thing isn't it I guess it's easy to kind of feel forgotten about when you're you know 297 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:31,800 you know um living a bit more remotely than other people but yeah that was and we we really 298 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:37,880 celebrated that like in my time there that that um you know they they are really contributing and 299 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:46,600 like I would love to go back out there and spend some more time um I guess from me personally just 300 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:53,800 learning from them I mean I've not grown up in that environment so yeah yeah that's good isn't 301 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:58,520 it and I do love that they're so proud and they should be it's it's wonderful and I think actually 302 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:03,560 a lot of city people could kind of learn a lot from them about you know your food doesn't just 303 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:08,760 appear in a box or in a packet it actually comes from somewhere and from people working hard and 304 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:16,120 you know like I said she actually brought me in you know um all the different things that they 305 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:20,360 grow on their farm and the kids were like can you take when you go into the city can you take this 306 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:25,960 you know to show the kids and I was like yeah absolutely love that yes yeah yeah because it 307 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:29,720 was something I can't even remember what it was now but something's in my mind about the number 308 00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:33,960 of kids that didn't really know where milk came from I don't know if that I'm thinking of an 309 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:38,520 American thing or not and it kind of I thought how could you not know where your milk came from 310 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:44,280 like to out to me it's just it's obvious but you know maybe it's not that obvious and then 311 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:51,080 someone's told you or you've seen it I don't know I don't know it's like you're right and then I 312 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:57,160 guess we talked a lot about um you know they're they're growing things they're living off the 313 00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:03,880 land and I guess then we link that back to you know um like Aboriginal culture like bush tucker 314 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:10,360 that we've we've had these things available to us and if we look after country then you know country 315 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:16,680 looks after us so it was really nice to explore those two things sort of side by side as well and 316 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:25,720 them then sort of understanding that I mean I grew up sort of you know in a really sort of remote 317 00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:31,560 place and you'd go out like we were on a property at times and you'd go out there and you'd think 318 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:36,360 there's nothing out here like nothing grows and then you know you'd go for a little drive in the 319 00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:41,080 car and there'd be like a few kwangdong trees you know and then like say like there's food there's 320 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:46,360 stuff out there if you know about it so yeah you know that's been interesting for me I guess on my 321 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:51,880 own personal journey just um like learning about all the different sort of bush tucker and and 322 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:57,640 things like that I've always had that interest anyway but um yeah like digging a bit deeper into 323 00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:10,520 it so it's been great 324 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:44,520 so 325 00:36:44,520 --> 00:37:00,200 yeah and you mentioned before about um your watercolors that you're making your ochre 326 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:05,480 watercolors that would be fascinating too like finding out what color what things make what color 327 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:16,600 and that sort of thing yeah and just I guess um like the fascination in how it was made traditionally 328 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:21,320 so you know like I go to a school and I'll say to the kids you know what what can you tell me about 329 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,640 aboriginal art and they'll say you know oh they made paint from rocks and I'm like yeah yeah 330 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,960 that happened you know so do you know how that happened like oh you know yeah they ground it 331 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:35,880 up and they add a bit of water and the second that you tell them that like it needs a binding agent 332 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:40,280 you know like it needs to stick together and you and you tell them that you know like traditionally 333 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:46,520 we might have used um animal blood or tree sap you know the eyes got bigger sources and you know 334 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:54,040 oh how does that happen and you know so just even in exploring like the traditional processes in my 335 00:37:54,040 --> 00:38:01,320 learning I'm able to then share that with um the kids as well and I went to the Northern Territory 336 00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:07,960 last year and just was completely fascinated by the rock art and just to know that like that's been 337 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:16,440 there for 600 years and that paint that ochre has lasted you know 600 years in a cave yeah and yet 338 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:22,360 you know we can go and paint a house and within five years it's faded so yeah it's pretty amazing 339 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:28,520 isn't it it's pretty amazing that those just those basic you know elements of nature and you're able 340 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:35,080 to create something that lasts you know well beyond our own years and then you've yeah it's amazing 341 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:40,280 and I think you know growing up being that collector I've always like yep oh there's a red 342 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:45,720 rock or there's a you know that one's white or you know I've always I actually have a collection 343 00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:54,360 of rocks um probably a bit odd for a 44 I could relate to that too yeah and when you grow up in 344 00:38:54,360 --> 00:39:00,760 a mining town it's kind of you kind of just yeah it's another it's just a thing yeah it would just 345 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:06,360 be part of your of your daily life like just finding interesting rocks it would just you know 346 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:15,960 it'd be great yeah I know it's yeah it's weird I quite often laugh that I like just 347 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:23,080 innately am like a gatherer and a collector and I think about my ancestors and the women who went 348 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:31,320 before me and that was kind of their role as well and it's comforting I guess to know that 349 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:36,920 like I'm still doing that and that's going to be passed on in my family as well that yeah just that 350 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:43,720 value in nature. Absolutely I love that um I've got a thing like that like with your rocks mine's 351 00:39:43,720 --> 00:39:50,200 feathers I'm obsessed with feathers and I just oh my oh I just I don't know what it is about and 352 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:56,920 whether it's I don't know I like I love birds I think birds are just the most amazing things and 353 00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:02,040 I have my little favorites that come around to the house and whatever and have a chat with the mag 354 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:06,920 pots and things and so I just I don't know it's like you've got this there's this they're so 355 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:11,560 unattainable because they can just go you know then they can go wherever they like and they're 356 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:16,840 free and to just have a little piece of that is I don't know maybe that's why I like I can hold it 357 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:21,080 close to me I don't know it's a funny thing. I know it's a treasure it's a treasure because it's 358 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:27,160 a moment in time that's just just that moment I suppose. Yeah yeah and you can't replicate it 359 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:35,960 you know as much as I try. And it's interesting like why um you know different different mobs and 360 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:43,800 stuff have different um totems and mine is a Willy Wagtail. Ah that's so interesting because 361 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:49,640 I've had a Willy Wagtail never before in the last three or four days has been at my front door with 362 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:54,920 his beautiful little whistle and I'm like what are you here for like it's still very interesting. 363 00:40:54,920 --> 00:41:01,800 My family have explained to me that they're messenger birds um so like black and white I 364 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:07,080 guess you know good messages bad messages when you when you're a Willy Wagtail you don't have a choice 365 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:13,000 to have to share the message whether it's good or bad that's that's kind of your your burden or your 366 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:20,840 your role I guess so um yeah just fascinated I love birds as well just fascinated by I guess again 367 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:28,760 that's another just a deeper learning that that I've been lucky enough to um have had shared with 368 00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:34,840 me and yeah. Yeah just on birds just slightly off topic though do you get um carawongs over where 369 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:43,720 you are? No we don't we have the most amazing um superb fairy wrens you know the little good ones. 370 00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:49,880 Yes yes they're divine but it sucks out only the boys get to be beautiful don't they and the little 371 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:55,000 girls. Oh I'm just saying with peacocks it's funny oh yes that's so true. I take peacock feathers um 372 00:41:55,640 --> 00:42:00,360 in my little nature collage kit and I always say to the kids you know so these beautiful ones are 373 00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:05,640 they the boy ones or the girl ones and the boy and the boys like oh no yeah they're the boy ones 374 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:11,720 because they use them to attract the girl ones like yeah they do like you know they show off for 375 00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:17,720 the ladies and they just get hilarious. Yeah I always find that interesting in nature that the 376 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:23,160 boys get to be so bright and exuberant and then the girls are brown it's like hang on a sec. 377 00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:30,280 I know we're too busy right we're too busy oh I don't know what it is I have to show you 378 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:40,040 while we're chatting and you know yeah um my auntie sent me these um oh they're magnificent. 379 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:46,840 Yeah are they oh treasures like they are beautiful so yeah I'll share with the listeners 380 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:52,040 they're um they're well they're red black what are they called black red black oh you say it. 381 00:42:52,040 --> 00:43:03,160 Yeah the the cockatoos you know the red tail black cockatoos yes the black ones yes oh they 382 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:10,040 are the most amazing birds but they are divine so yeah I'm like oh my god they're a treasure but 383 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:15,160 like I want to use them but then like they're too precious you don't want to use them yeah I know 384 00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:20,040 what you mean yeah I've got one like that but it's the yellow one um we get the yellow tail ones 385 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:25,560 they fly yes between because we've got a lot of pine you know pine plantations here and they fly 386 00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:29,640 between the plantations and every afternoon they come right over the top of my house and there's 387 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:35,080 only about four sometimes five and they just call to each other as they're going I'm like oh there 388 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:42,280 they go again it's just so special. And every crazy bird people oh I'm sure there's someone 389 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:49,160 else listening that gets this isn't there there's got to be. Well I don't know I'll own it anyway 390 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:57,320 I have no shame. I don't apologize for it I love it and I tell the kids about it at work and last 391 00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:03,480 year there was one little girl who just loved cockatoos and I told her that my mum has a pet 392 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:10,440 cocky and she ended up just becoming so attached to this bird like I'd bring in photos and videos 393 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:15,720 of this bird and I said to mum do you think we could bring her in for a visit and mum's like oh 394 00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:21,480 I don't think so Alison because she can be quite moody you know she's got a bit of a bite on her 395 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:28,040 yes so we decided against that but even yeah this year even though that little girl's going to school 396 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:33,720 one of her little friends often asks me how's cocky going it's like it's just so lovely that 397 00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:38,440 they remember this and because she's got such a personality and in some of the videos she'd just 398 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:46,280 do the funniest things and so oh my gosh she's just a cracker she just loves life like that bit 399 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,520 yes that's what I was about to say I think that's why I like them so much because they 400 00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:57,960 they do have distinct personalities and they're just they're they're just like people like 401 00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:01,480 they know what they like and what they don't like and what people they like and what people they 402 00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:08,760 don't like I love emus as well I think you know growing up I was always like oh they're so 403 00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:15,880 beautiful and and then you go to tower hill here which is um just outside of warnable and you know 404 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:20,680 they're so used to people they sort of come right up to you and you think oh god they're gonna like 405 00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:26,600 for that second that little bit of fear creeps in and you're like okay I'll just put my hand 406 00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:33,240 out so that I'm taller than them and that'll scare them away and and then at the same time I'm like 407 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:39,720 following them hoping that they might like drop a feather or something I did that recently actually 408 00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:45,880 it's my son my eldest son Alex he loves emus he's just got this thing for emus wherever we go if he 409 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:50,920 sees one he'll just go over to it and just like like obviously this isn't in the wild because 410 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:57,400 they run away from us um but yeah like where were we we're on the gold coast recently at the uh 411 00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:04,200 carowar no what was it called um carumbin burn sanctuary and there was this emu up there and I 412 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:09,560 was patting him and I was hoping that one of his beautiful feathers would just fall out conveniently 413 00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:13,880 accidentally you know I kind of got a hold one I thought no Alison don't do it 414 00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:20,760 it's like my son's up up at his face and like distracting or like trying to nick 415 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:25,640 feathers no that wouldn't have been very kind so no I didn't do that but I did cross my mind 416 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:33,640 oh my gosh I'm a forager I'd be too scared I don't take yeah I only take what's what's already 417 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:40,600 dropped on the grip yes yes yes no that that's very funny um yeah thanks for indulging my bird 418 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:46,840 talk there oh that's okay that's fine I've actually like I've been painting emu feathers like just 419 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:56,200 so inspired by them um just the little detail and how fine and soft they are and yeah they're pretty 420 00:46:56,200 --> 00:47:01,960 amazing like I don't know if people might have to google them but they are incredibly small like 421 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:06,920 when like you see this bird but then the like when you take it like they're like ostrich feathers 422 00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:11,160 kind of where they've got like all the strings but then on the strands they're just so minute 423 00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:15,880 I know incredible aren't they yep they make them go blind painting them like 424 00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:25,080 could have picked a simpler feather so and then you know they're okay emu feathers and then dragon 425 00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:37,960 fly so yeah yeah yeah all those tiny little veins detail it's all about the detail oh goodness 426 00:47:55,880 --> 00:48:03,560 did you find that after you became a mum that your painting changed like whether the way you 427 00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:12,440 had to do the work or what inspired you changed after you became a mum well that's a good question 428 00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:22,840 um I think I don't know my poor kids whenever I do something they're just it's just around them 429 00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:31,160 like they're just yeah so at the moment like we're in a small townhouse and I've literally got you 430 00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:36,760 know seven or eight canvases on the go around me so yeah they've always been surrounded by whatever 431 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:42,760 um whatever I'm creating so you know whether it's sewing you know when they were 432 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:48,120 younger and I was screen printing you know we'd like we would have fun doing it together like 433 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:54,920 I feel like that they've always been um involved in some way like and I've 434 00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:02,280 I've really tried to nurture that in them you know and I guess they're a bit older now and it's not 435 00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:07,400 really their their thing but that was a really strong connection for us to have like when they 436 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:15,320 were younger that we did these things together and they were a part of yeah whatever whatever I was 437 00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:20,920 doing and even now you know like I'm making the ochre and stuff and Fraser who's 12 you know he'll 438 00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:28,280 come over and like so what what are you doing you know um yeah I think I just I don't know I think 439 00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:34,680 again it's that I just have the I just want to share what I'm doing with them like and so then 440 00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:42,760 yeah they they are a part of it as well um and it's hard when you work from home to separate 441 00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:49,080 those two things as well um and I've been lucky that I have been able to spend a lot of time in 442 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:56,520 my arts practice working at home so yeah um yeah I don't know it's I think it's an inclusive 443 00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:03,320 sort of style I guess that I've wanted to include them as much as I can in whatever I'm doing 444 00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:10,760 yeah and teach them as well I mean you know they've they both can sew and they probably could 445 00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:17,480 whip up a screen print if you reminded them how to do it but you know that's not cool now but you 446 00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:24,440 know yeah I know what you mean so they'll be able to darn their socks get hold of them 447 00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:30,680 when after a lot of maybe I don't know I don't know some things might have gone in one ear and 448 00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:44,440 out the other but anyway skills for life right yeah that's it yeah 449 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:07,640 So within that it was there an element of also wanting them to see that their mum can also do 450 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:13,000 things that don't involve being their mum so you can do things just for yourself? 451 00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:19,160 Oh I think we've I think my husband and I have raised our kids to 452 00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:25,640 want to explore things like whatever it is you know whatever their passions are yep go and have 453 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:32,200 a crack you know like if you want to try karate go and go and try it like have your own identity as 454 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:38,680 well like you you know home and your family will always be your safe space but don't be scared to 455 00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:45,000 go out and try other things and I and I think that probably sort of was amplified after Asher died 456 00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:53,640 like Loki was three and a half when that happened you know so I guess for that that couple of years 457 00:51:53,640 --> 00:52:04,600 after that I guess like sewing became my grief work that was what I sort of used to help me through 458 00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:14,760 that time and so it's always been my sort of safe place to come back to and I think my kids just see 459 00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:21,080 that as my creativity is just part of my identity and you know they're kind of they're not really 460 00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:30,040 separated yeah but I guess yeah it just comes back to like have a go at something if you want to 461 00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:33,960 if you want to try it have a go like you don't have anything to lose 462 00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:39,960 yeah it's great advice isn't it like you said life's short and you just if you want to do 463 00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:46,840 something just make find a way to do it yeah I mean look I you know I probably in hindsight 464 00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:51,960 there's probably a few things I maybe should have pondered a little bit more like um you know when 465 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:57,160 I had my shop in Broken Hill I started it with like 70 bucks and I was like oh yeah I'll just 466 00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:03,640 have a shop and you know you know rounded up a few bits of furniture and had a friend make me a bench 467 00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:09,720 and away we went we sort of you know just yeah you don't have to have the best of everything but you 468 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:16,520 you can still try things it's it's not necessarily about you know going out and buying all of the 469 00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:22,600 stuff for whatever it is it's just having a little taste of everything and and sort of really finding 470 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:30,520 what makes you feel content yeah yeah and you can always build on things as you go you don't 471 00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:36,680 always have to have it all ready to go right at the start yeah yeah and I think also as well just that 472 00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:44,920 um that creativity is so good for like self-regulation not just for adults but 473 00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:52,760 for kids as well and I think um you know maybe COVID highlighted that for all of us like we 474 00:53:52,760 --> 00:54:01,000 we did have that time to slow down and and stop and go slow and take things in um 475 00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:08,040 yeah I don't know yeah just something I'm throwing out no but that's the thing isn't it when you've 476 00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:13,240 got time you can actually think about what you enjoy doing and what sort of like you said fills 477 00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:19,400 you up and makes you feel good and yeah having I think in life we don't get those times unless we 478 00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:25,480 truly seek them out yeah it's like life just goes and goes and goes and goes um yeah so I think 479 00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:30,200 yeah it's so important to have something that's yours I really think especially as a mum and even 480 00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:36,200 in a partnership you know having something that that you know you don't always have to do everything 481 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,960 with your partner you don't have to share every single interest you can have things that you want 482 00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:47,640 to do that don't involve anyone else uh my husband's just um started a punk band that oh good for him 483 00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:53,960 so like he's just you know that's his thing he goes off and does that um I think our kids 484 00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:59,640 I don't know they they always say to us you know how proud they are that you know like dad's 485 00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:04,360 dad's got the guts to get up and sing in front of other people whereas I there's no way I 486 00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:11,960 could do that um but you know being in situations I guess with my um arts practice and 487 00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:18,120 you know like collabs and different things where it's been quite public my kids are really proud 488 00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:24,840 of that that I've like put myself out there um and even you know when you do those things sometimes 489 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:31,400 like they can be quite challenging as well so I think modeling how you handle that's really 490 00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:38,680 important as well for your kids you know I think they're always like you know sunshine and lollipops 491 00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:44,520 and you've got to learn to navigate the hard things as well yes that that's it isn't it if 492 00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:49,160 they're not just seeing the outcome if it's all positive that's great but they're actually seeing 493 00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:54,360 the process and you know working through things like you said if things aren't quite going how 494 00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:59,080 you expect how you deal with that and that's that's so important because as we know kids 495 00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:04,440 they learn from what they see you're not necessarily what you tell them so very true 496 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:27,400 a 497 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:37,480 One of the things I like to talk to all my guests about is this concept of mum guilt 498 00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:42,680 and I put that in air quotes because it's such a contrived term, like it's a term that's 499 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:54,120 been made up, I think, by Western society. Do you have any thoughts on mum guilt? 500 00:56:54,120 --> 00:57:05,440 It's almost palpable at times for me, just that, I don't know, I guess in the last couple 501 00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:11,760 of years I've really like travelled a lot for work and I've been away and last year 502 00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:16,480 I was away a lot while Lockie was doing Year 12 and I sort of thought, oh I really need 503 00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:24,320 to be at home more. But then I was really proud of him because he was able to achieve 504 00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:29,800 great things even when I wasn't there, I mean, I wasn't physically here, I was obviously 505 00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:36,240 like calling and all that sort of stuff. But yeah, I do find it really tricky to have that 506 00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:44,400 balance where you're giving everyone enough of yourself and then still filling your own 507 00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:51,840 cup up. So yeah, I do feel like I get pulled in a lot of different directions quite often 508 00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:58,240 and I know my kids are proud of me for going out there and doing things but then I guess 509 00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:03,440 it's something that I put on myself, that I have that, oh I should be at home. But then 510 00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:10,320 I don't, I've never had that traditional sense that I need to be a homemaker either, that's 511 00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:20,360 not part of my life that I've sort of, I don't know, wanted to explore. Like I love being 512 00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:25,820 at home and I am a real homebody when I'm at home but I also love getting out and like 513 00:58:25,820 --> 00:58:32,320 experiencing new things. But even when I've been able to do that, I guess like last year 514 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:35,160 I said I went to the Northern Territory, I would have loved for my kids to have been 515 00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:44,240 there and so yeah, I don't know, it's a tricky thing. I don't know if it's something that 516 00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:50,680 I like let anyone else sort of put on me but I certainly feel a bit torn at times, you 517 00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:55,360 know, am I spending too much time away or am I home enough or yeah. 518 00:58:55,360 --> 00:59:00,920 Yeah, that is something that someone said the other day, those exact words, it's not 519 00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:07,280 something anyone else is putting on me, that's me saying this stuff. And it's like then it 520 00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:11,400 makes it tricky then because it's like it's up to you to try and not think that stuff, 521 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:13,920 you know, it's challenging. 522 00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:22,160 It really is but you know, we're lucky now in that you know, like our kids have phones, 523 00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:28,200 you know, you can always just give them a ring, your FaceTime or whatever and you know, 524 00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:35,160 you can maintain that connection I suppose that maybe you couldn't have a few years ago. 525 00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:36,680 Yeah, that's so true. 526 00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:44,920 It's easier to stay in touch and I think I made a very conscious decision like this year 527 00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:49,080 to wherever I can involve my family a bit more in, you know, if I'm travelling into 528 00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:53,200 Melbourne or whatever and if I'm in there for a couple of weeks like the boys come in 529 00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:59,600 and we go to the footy or something so you know, it's that balance of doing things together. 530 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:07,000 Yeah, that's it isn't it? Because it's like, I guess you probably, fair to say like it's 531 01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:12,160 you couldn't give up that part of your life because then the rest of your life would suffer. 532 01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:16,240 You know, you couldn't give up your artistic endeavours because then you wouldn't be the 533 01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:17,240 person that you are. 534 01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:25,280 I'd be miserable. When we first moved here, you know, everything was in storage because 535 01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:29,280 we were waiting like we had a little unit and then we were waiting to move into our 536 01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:34,200 house and everything was in storage and I reckon it was about almost a year later and 537 01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:40,960 I got my sewing machine out and I just had that huge like reminder of, oh, I have missed 538 01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:44,200 this so much, you know? 539 01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:51,600 And I felt like my old self again. Yeah, like, yeah, it's weird that just doing that thing 540 01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:56,880 that's always been there and that creativity just made me feel like me again. I felt like 541 01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:57,880 I'd been missing. 542 01:00:57,880 --> 01:01:03,680 Yeah, yeah, absolutely can relate to that. Yeah. I think that's a pretty common thing 543 01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:09,760 that people I chat to, it's like it's just an integral part of who they are. 544 01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:14,200 Yeah, you can't separate. I don't think you can separate it when you're a creative. I 545 01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:16,720 don't think there is that separation. 546 01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:22,840 Yeah, which makes mothering all the more difficult. You know, it's like you've got half your brains 547 01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:27,560 in mum mode and half your brains in art mode and they cross over and then, you know, one 548 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:29,560 takes over and the other one takes over. 549 01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:33,920 Yeah, and that takes over your whole house as well when you have no room and you're painting 550 01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:38,400 on the kitchen floor and I can't remember the last time we actually sat around our kitchen 551 01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:43,240 table. Yeah, we ate a meal together because like it's covered, like it's literally covered 552 01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:49,040 in paint brushes and paint and yeah, I've got canvases all over the place and, you know, 553 01:01:49,040 --> 01:01:53,920 they just walk around stuff now. It's not even like, are you going to clean this stuff 554 01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:58,800 up mum? It's just like, oh yeah, we'll just step over the canvas and moving right along. 555 01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:00,800 Yeah, that's it. 556 01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:06,200 But it's not like, you know, when Fraser gets home from school, I usually like stop 557 01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:12,920 for an hour or so just to, you know, wind down with him and yeah, like Lachie's studying 558 01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:18,760 from home. So, you know, when he comes up and has lunch and stuff, you know, just yeah, 559 01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:23,560 being at home and touching it, touching base and you know, checking in on how he's going 560 01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:29,800 and stuff. So yeah, it's, I'm very lucky to work from home. Yeah, I feel very lucky to 561 01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:30,800 have that experience. 562 01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:36,040 Yeah, yeah. No, that is nice, isn't it? It does make it tricky that I've talked to people 563 01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:40,240 who work from home. It's like they're in the middle of painting and they might hear the 564 01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:44,680 dishwasher stop or the beef of the washing machine. They're like, oh, I better just do 565 01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:48,040 that. And then it turns into, oh, I better just do this and better just do this. And 566 01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:53,160 then it just rolls on me like, oh, that's right. I was meant to be doing my painting. 567 01:02:53,160 --> 01:03:00,320 What's the opposite in my house? I start painting, I become obsessed and then it's like, oh, 568 01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:04,960 we're out of clean undies guys. Hang on, I'll have to quickly do a couple of loads of washing 569 01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:14,440 and you know, like, oh, just that tidying, you know, like I get so, I'm just so into 570 01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:18,920 like my artwork. What you're doing. Yeah. And I'm, you know, I'm so lucky my husband 571 01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:23,840 does the cooking and so, you know, I don't, I kind of don't have to stop. So I guess the 572 01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:31,800 tricky thing in that really is that it's hard for me to know when to clock off and actually 573 01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:37,720 just tools down for the day and separate work from, you know, just chilling out at home. 574 01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:42,320 Yeah. Just sitting here, it'll be like, oh, well, I'll just do another coat on that or, 575 01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:47,320 you know, add a little bit here and then, yeah. And it's, oh, it's time to go to bed. 576 01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:54,320 Oh, sorry. I haven't actually talked to my family tonight. Sorry guys. Oh dear. So is 577 01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:58,240 that pretty common that you'll have like so many different ones on the go at once? Is 578 01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:04,120 that sort of how you like to work? Yeah, I think that's just how my brain works. And 579 01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:14,080 also like there's so many layers to Aboriginal art. So, you know, I might have a base coat 580 01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:19,920 on this one happening and then be blocking in things on the next one. And, you know, 581 01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:27,000 then you've got to wait for the things to dry in between. And like, I might have, you 582 01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:32,680 know, works happening for a show and then a commission piece as well. And then I'm like, 583 01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:38,000 like I said, I'm trying out different ochre. So I'm like, I just, yeah. And then I'll have 584 01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:41,760 a little play, like a little like reward, I suppose, you know, like I've worked really 585 01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:46,760 hard on this one and now I just want to have a play. And I think that's really important 586 01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:53,760 to give myself that time to just like mess around and not, because when it's your full 587 01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:58,960 time job, I don't ever want it to feel like a job. And I'm lucky that it doesn't because 588 01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:05,360 I absolutely like, I'm just so lucky to be doing what I do every day. But then I, yeah, 589 01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:10,800 I don't want it to get stale. So yeah, yeah. It's important to have those times we almost 590 01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:15,240 like that curiosity of, well, what happens, what happens, you know, messing around, like 591 01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:20,760 you said, about all the different things you like to do. It's like, that keeps you fresh. 592 01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:26,520 That keeps you going. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. And just like talking to other, talking 593 01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:32,860 to people, you know, when I go and do a weaving workshop or something, like just that connection 594 01:05:32,860 --> 01:05:36,520 that you have with other people and hearing about their life experiences as well. I think 595 01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:44,160 that's like, that's amazing that I get to do that. And I, yeah, I just feel really grateful 596 01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:52,960 that people are willing to share their experiences as well. Yeah. Yeah. It's that, I guess that 597 01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:58,680 connection. Like I've grown up in a massive family and like my mum has six sisters and 598 01:05:58,680 --> 01:06:02,720 a brother, you know, so there was heaps of aunties and uncles, heaps of cousins, and 599 01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:07,600 you had to sort of be loud to be heard. So it's nice when you go and work in a small 600 01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:12,720 group and everyone sort of, you know, gets their little moment to share and... Yeah. 601 01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:17,480 You're not competing with the airtime. I'm very, I can be very loud. I'm very aware 602 01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:22,320 that I can be very loud. So, all right. Just need to tone it down a little bit. Well, that's 603 01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:52,240 funny. Yes. So you mentioned some things you're working on. Do you have anything 604 01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:57,840 specific coming up that you're working towards? Like anything you want to mention that's coming 605 01:06:57,840 --> 01:07:02,960 up in the near future? I have a few projects on the go, but I can't, I'm not allowed to 606 01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:12,480 talk about them. Yeah. And they're like, they're amazing things, amazing opportunities. And 607 01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:20,840 I just pinch myself, you know, I'm this chick from the bush, like just, it blows my mind 608 01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:30,080 often that I, I'm in the situation that I'm in. And so, you know, to be like working with 609 01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:36,280 companies like Maya, you know, like to have my work in their shops, like nationally, like 610 01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:45,240 that's just pinch me stuff. And like that just, yeah, it still just blows my mind. And 611 01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:51,280 working with, you know, like the South Side Flyers, the women's basketball team, you know, 612 01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:57,680 I was so grateful to go and spend a week with them in Tassie last year for the indigenous 613 01:07:57,680 --> 01:08:03,920 round, you know, design their Jersey and had such a strong connection with them. And just 614 01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:11,040 spending that time, it's like, like, I never would have dreamed of this when I was a kid, 615 01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:23,240 but I could be, yeah, living this amazing life and meeting really interesting people. 616 01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:30,280 And I guess connecting with other women who are doing the same sort of thing, and then 617 01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:35,160 just the experience of the flyers, like these are young female professional athletes and 618 01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:42,400 learning that, you know, the disparity in their pay rate, what the men earn and, you 619 01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:48,680 know, I'm not a raving feminist, but, you know, just little things like that, I guess 620 01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:53,720 it's an eye opener and you don't pay much attention to it until you get to see it up 621 01:08:53,720 --> 01:09:00,520 close and personal, like how hard they work and all that sort of stuff. So, yeah, I love, 622 01:09:00,520 --> 01:09:09,080 I love that there's an element of like, being able to support other women in what I do and 623 01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:17,000 being a role model for young girls as well to just to have a go at things and don't let 624 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:25,460 your own self like hold you back because we do that all the time. And I think that's something 625 01:09:25,460 --> 01:09:32,520 that has frustrated me about myself for a lot of years, like my own insecurities, I 626 01:09:32,520 --> 01:09:38,720 don't think I can do that. So yeah, I think just, but you know, that comes with age, doesn't 627 01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:39,720 it? 628 01:09:39,720 --> 01:09:41,720 Oh, absolutely. Oh, yeah. 629 01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:44,960 Eventually get to that stage where you're like, no, I'm just going to do what I want 630 01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:45,960 to do. 631 01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:50,920 Yeah, I feel like in your 40s, you literally don't give a toss. You're just going to do 632 01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:54,260 what you want. You don't care what people think anymore. You know, you've gone through 633 01:09:54,260 --> 01:10:00,240 those years of worrying what, what people's judgment is going to be like, nah, I'm just 634 01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:01,240 going to do stuff. 635 01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:08,600 Yeah, for sure. Yep, absolutely. That's yeah. I don't know. So I guess in terms of projects 636 01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:16,320 coming up, yeah, I've got lots of schoolwork that I'm really excited about. I've got a 637 01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:24,440 trip to the Northern Territory for early childhood education, which like that's amazing just 638 01:10:24,440 --> 01:10:30,600 to connect with other educators and hear, hear about different things that they're doing. 639 01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:39,200 I've been quietly working away, I guess at some early childhood resources as well. Like 640 01:10:39,200 --> 01:10:44,800 your inner service, things that I would want to use. And I'm like, oh, they don't, it's 641 01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:50,160 not here. So, you know, how can I create something that will fill that space? 642 01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:51,160 That's exciting. 643 01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:55,360 Yeah. The other stuff I can't really talk about. 644 01:10:55,360 --> 01:11:01,280 That's all right. Damn it. We understand. You just have to keep an eye on your, on Instagram 645 01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:02,720 or Facebook. Where are you most active? 646 01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:06,560 Yeah, I'm on all of those things. On the socials. 647 01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:13,440 Yeah, beautiful. I'll put links in the show notes of your, all your socials and things 648 01:11:13,440 --> 01:11:15,120 so people can find you. 649 01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:20,320 But I have got my work in some galleries around the place, which is like, I'm really lucky 650 01:11:20,320 --> 01:11:24,600 to have their support and their sort of promotion as well. And then yeah, I sort of have my 651 01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:29,000 print work and all that sort of stuff through my website. But I guess the big thing at the 652 01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:37,440 moment is yeah, launching my fabric. So I was, that's a childhood dream and that sort 653 01:11:37,440 --> 01:11:38,440 of happening and 654 01:11:38,440 --> 01:11:40,440 Yeah, that's fantastic. 655 01:11:40,440 --> 01:11:50,920 Wow, there's a lot to learn. And being, you know, very environmentally conscious and, 656 01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:54,920 you know, wanting to know the supply chain and all of that sort of stuff. So that's been 657 01:11:54,920 --> 01:12:03,080 a very steep learning curve. Just, yeah, huge loads of information that you have to try 658 01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:08,640 and absorb and then work out which direction you want to go in. But gee, it's like, it's 659 01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:13,480 a, it's a whole feeling when you wear something that you have designed yourself like that's 660 01:12:13,480 --> 01:12:14,480 just 661 01:12:14,480 --> 01:12:17,000 Yeah, that'd be, that'd just about top it off, wouldn't it? That'd just be the best. 662 01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:21,680 And I think, you know, having that, like watching my nan sew with all those beautiful fabrics 663 01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:25,600 all those years ago is just kind of stuck with me that like that's something I always 664 01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:30,800 wanted to do. And now I've realised that it's like, wow, that's actually happening. 665 01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:36,560 Oh, congratulations. That is exciting. So that people can see that through your website 666 01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:37,560 as well. That's all 667 01:12:37,560 --> 01:12:38,560 Yeah, yeah. 668 01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:43,360 And they're beautiful. That's awesome. No, thank you. It's been lovely to chat with you. 669 01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:44,360 Thanks for coming on. 670 01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:50,400 Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Yeah, I love your work. 671 01:12:50,400 --> 01:12:55,480 Thanks for your company today. If you've enjoyed this episode, I'd love you to consider leaving 672 01:12:55,480 --> 01:13:01,000 us a review, following or subscribing to the podcast, or even sharing it with a friend 673 01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:07,120 you think might be interested. If you or someone you know would like to be a guest on the podcast, 674 01:13:07,120 --> 01:13:11,680 please get in touch with us by the link in the show notes. I'll catch you again next 675 01:13:11,680 --> 01:13:40,240 week for another chat with an artistic mom. 676 01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:33,840 I don't know what's on the weekend, even though wanting a rebrand, kicking it up on the rampage. 677 01:14:33,840 --> 01:14:54,660 And the 678 01:14:54,660 --> 01:14:58,660 Collect all this gold energy 679 01:14:59,660 --> 01:15:05,660 Boil my energy, as I press the gold energy 680 01:15:05,660 --> 01:15:09,660 Collect all this gold energy 681 01:15:09,660 --> 01:15:13,660 Collect all this gold energy 682 01:15:13,660 --> 01:15:28,660 Collect all this gold energy 683 01:15:28,660 --> 01:15:43,660 Collect all this gold energy

Singer, songwriter and mum of 2 Alison Newman chats to artists, musicians, writers and other creatives about what it is like being a mother - and being an artist. Juggling the day to day, retaining your identity, how their work is influenced by motherhood, "mum guilt", the pros, the cons and everything in between Be inspired by honest conversations with artistic + creative mothers, who are passionate about continuting their work, no matter what. About Me ... and the show Hi there I'm Alison, its so great to have you here! I'm a mum of 2 boys and a singer/ songwriter, so I know first hand how challenging it can be to balance your role as a mother with the intense need to create. I started this podcast to reach out to other creative mums, in a time of my own crisis to see how they were handling things, but since then it has turned into so much more. The aim now being - to encourage mothers to see the value in their creating and to try to support them to know that they are not alone - challenge cultural norms and break down a few patriarchal stereotypes along the way. Since July 2021, I have released an episode each week, and built a thriving community of likeminded and supportive women online . What we are doing is shining a light on the stories of mothers, giving them a voice and reminding society that they have great value outside of their mothering roles. xx The podcast is on hold at the moment due to my overwhelming work commitments. “This feels like the podcast version of Rachel Power’s book The Divided Heart and I think it’s what we need.” Katherine Collette - author and podcaster "We have International Women's Day where everyone posts on their social media how good it is to support women. But Alison is example of someone actually actively doing that. And I have a lot of respect for that and very grateful for the opportunity to join in with the fantastic work she's doing." Fleur Harris - illustrator and designer "Alison has a charming and disarming interview style. This makes for a podcast that proves to be a great companion, throughout its entended library of interviews." Steve Davis - podcaster, critic, comedian and educa tor.

Links Read about Alison's other music projects here EM + AL Are you looking for a dynamic duo to perform at your next event? My sister Emma and myself are experienced performers with many Christmas shows, corporate functions and birthdays under our belt. We are fun, flexible and professional performers! Find out more Amy Agnew Portraits Amy is a vibrant and bubbly soul who creates amazing headshots. She is great to work with and produces stunning images. Find out more RTImages i have worked with Rob at RT Images many times and he always delivers a top quality product. He is a talented videographer and a great person to work with too. See the videos has made for me here Find out more Katie Fox Makeup Artist I have had Katie work her magic on me for both personal and professional events, for photo shoots and gigs. Not only is she AMAZING, but such a beautiful soul too. Find out more Lifeboat SE Alison is proud to be an Ambassador for LifeboatSE . It is a group that provide a great place to discuss and help yourself through a tough period in your life. We are local mates that have experienced high levels of stress, anxiety and depression, as well as family members that have worked through these tough periods with loved ones who have. Find out more Kinship Productions Astyn creates incredible images, from stills to video. I have enjoyed working with Astyn to record significant gigs in my career, and make my first ever music video. Find out more Marcus Jones Photography + Video Marcus is a talented videographer and photographer, and I have been very impressed with the work he has done for me, including my album launch night. Find out more Beauty by Zoe Zoina Zoe is my go to for tans, and she does amazing makeup too - for photo shoots, gigs and for video work too. Such a great gal ! Find out more Link to PPCA Direct Licensing Agreement

Wolf new album EP by Alison Newman Alison Newman, hailing from Mount Gambier, South Australia, is a singer and songwriter creating deeply personal music. Her journey in music has been a dynamic one, marked by a diverse range of opportunities, from small vocal ensembles to large choirs and duos, all of which have contributed to her growth and the evolution of her unique musicality. Alison's musical journey has been punctuated by significant milestones. In 2019, 2020, and 2021, she was nominated for the South Australian Music Awards Folk Artist Peoples Choice Award. She clinched the South Australian State Final of Listen Up Music's 'The Songwriting Prize' in 2021 with her original song 'Pieces of My Pain', which was performed live in Sydney in January 2022 for the national prize. Alison's musical journey began in childhood when she started singing and continued to do so throughout her life. She attributes her eclectic music taste to exposure to various music genres from her family. Her earliest formal singing lessons focused on correct diaphragmatic breathing techniques, and she often performed for her family with her sister Emma during her childhood. Noteworthy is her debut album, "Heart Songs," which was released in late July 2019. Following that, she has released three standalone singles; "Sunshine Sundays" in November 2019, "It's Not Christmas Without You" in December 2019, and "For the Rest of My Life" on Valentine's Day 2020. During the COVID-19 lockdown of 2020, Alison shared her love of creating covers in her project "Circa Aurora," where she covered well-known songs in her unique style. Looking ahead, Alison is currently immersed in creating her next album, an EP titled 'Wolf '. This project, set to be released in June 2024, delves into her personal experience with postnatal depression, promising a deeply introspective and emotive musical journey. “The Wolf plays the role of the PND, and I am akin to Little Red Riding Hood.” Three tracks from "Wolf" have been critically acclaimed; Things Are About To Get Dark won the Australian Songwriters Association. 2021 Exceptional Merit Award in the Rock/Indie Category. Pieces of My Pain won the 2021 South Australian State Final of the Listen Up Music Songwriters Prize and recently Free Me was featured in the Top 100 Listen Up Music Songwriters Prize 2024. Alison is also a podcaster, producing The Art of Being A Mum, a weekly podcast where Alison enjoys honest and lively chats with artists + creators about the joys + issues they've encountered while trying to be a mum + continue to create. Themes like the mental juggle, identity, how their work is influenced by motherhood, "mum guilt", cultural norms, how they give themselves time to create within the role of mothering + the value that society gives the artistic mother. You can find out more here Things Are About To Get Dark Re told from the moment I experience my first PND symptoms, it is a forboding moment of realisation, it is going to happen all over again. This track won the Australian Songwriters Association 2021 Exceptional Merit Award in the Rock/Indie Category "What a song! It stops you in your tracks!" Nigel Loveday Radio Eastern Melbourne THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET DARK 00:00 / 03:33 Free Me My cry, in vain, to the Wolf to let me go, to free me, to free my soul and leave me. And I am left to wonder just how did this happen again, and realising that no one is in full control of themselves. FREE ME 00:00 / 03:08 Pieces of My Pain I am feeling cautiously ready to get my life back together, I am starting to feel well and I am literally picking up the pieces and beginning the steps recovering my life. Winner of the 2021 South Australian State Final of the Listen Up Music Songwriters Prize PIECES OF MY PAIN 00:00 / 03:30 Ready for Up I am ready to celebrate the coming out of the fog, I am feeling more like myself, adjusting to life as a new mum. "This music has helped people." Bronte Ellard - 5gtrFm READY FOR UP 00:00 / 02:58 Feel into You The final track, a song to celebrate the people that helped me through Top 100 in the 2024 Listen Up Music Songwriters Prize FEEL INTO YOU 00:00 / 04:01 "I feel like Alison is one of those artists that give pieces of herself in each song that she releases." RAG MAG radio interviews 18 June ABC Sth East 00:00 / 30:15 30 June 5gtr FM 00:00 / 15:08 1 July 88.3 Southern FM 00:00 / 10:32 9 July Bayside FM 00:00 / 25:46 10 September 5gtr FM 00:00 / 12:13 8 October 5gtr FM 00:00 / 16:52 29 October 5gtr FM 00:00 / 16:10 media The Border Watch - 28/6/24 Limestone Coast Community News - 31/7/24 The Border Watch - 2/8/24 The Alternative Gig Guide - 14/8/24 Media Net - 30/8/24 RAG MAG - 27/10/24 podcasts The Adelaide Show podcast - ep 395 - 23/6/24 The Adelaide Show podcast - ep 405 - 8/11/24 Enquiries to Elena Di Fiore - Maestro Media PR/Publicist contactus@maestromedia.com.au +61 420 221 773 Photos by Renae Lowe Photography Cover designs by Alison

We try to make sure this list is accurate and up to date. We can’t guarantee that it will always apply to you. You should seek your own medical advice from your doctor or health professional. This is by no means an exhaustive list and The Art of Being a Mum does not endorse or recommend these services in particular. GLOBAL LINKS checkpointorg.com Find A Helpline Befrienders Domestic Violence Help AUSTRALIA headspace (for people aged 12 to 25 and their families) — or call 1800 650 890 Beyond Blue (anyone feeling depressed or anxious) — or call 1300 22 4636 Black Dog Institute (anyone affected by mood disorders) — online help SANE Australia (people living with a mental illness) — or call 1800 18 7263 This Way Up (anyone with stress, anxiety and depression) — online courses MindSpot (people with anxiety and depression) — call 1800 61 44 34 or complete an online screening assessment. Emergency Services : 000 AUSTRALIAN POST NATAL DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY SUPPORT panda.org.au gidgetfoundation UNITED STATES Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org . Mental Health America You can also reach Crisis Text Line by texting MHA to 741741. 1-800-273-TALK (8255) HopeLine Cherry Hill - The Recovery Village Addiction Support Emergency Services: 911 USA POST PARTUM DEPRESSION SUPPORT postpartum.net Help with addictions - Texas CANADA Canadian Government Services Crisis Services Canada 1-833-456-4566 toll free (In QC: 1-866-277-3553) Mental Health Mobile Crisis Telephone Line 902-429-8167 Talk Suicide - Canadian Associaition for Suicide Prevention Association Candienne Pour la Prevention Du Suicide 819-339-3356 Canadian Mental Health Association CANADA POST PARTUM DEPRESSION SUPPORT camh.ca UK mind.org.uk nhs.uk UK Samaritans or phone 116 123 HopeLine UK 0800 068 4141 Prevention of Young Suicide HelpLines Partnership Mentalhealth.org.uk UK POST NATAL DEPRESSION SUPPORT pandasfoundation.org.uk/ REPUBLIC OF IRELAND Samaritans or call 116 123 Lifeline or call 0808 808 8000 Emergency Services: 999 ROI POST NATAL DEPRESSION SUPPORT www.pnd.ie/ NEW ZEALAND Emergency Number 09 5222 999 (Auckland) 0800 543 354 (Rest of NZ) Lifeline New Zealand mentalhealth.org.nz/ Emergency Services: 111 NEW ZEALAND POST NATAL DEPRESSION SUPPORT www.healthnavigator.org.nz EUROPE European Emergency Number: 112 https://eufami.org/ FRANCE (English Speaking) 0033 145 39 4000 Suicide Ecoute 01 46 21 46 46 SOS Help GERMANY Telefonseelsorge Deutschland (National) German speaking: 0800 -111 0 222 English speaking: 030-44 01 06 07 Crisis support line 6pm to 12am daily Feel free to reach out to me here if you have a service or organisation recommendation. Please be aware I do not share links of lawyers or other commercial entities.

Singer, songwriter and mum of 2 Alison Newman chats to artists, musicians, writers and other creatives about what it is like being a mother - and being an artist. Juggling the day to day, retaining your identity, how their work is influenced by motherhood, "mum guilt", the pros, the cons and everything in between Be inspired by artistic + creative mothers who are passionate about continuting their work, no matter what. Latest Article READ HERE About Me ... and the changes Hi there I'm Alison, its so great to have you here! I'm a mum of 2 boys and a singer/ songwriter, so I know first hand how challenging it can be to balance your role as a mother with the intense need to create. I started this podcast to reach out to other creative mums, in a time of my own crisis, to see how they were handling things, but since then it has turned into so much more. The aim now being - to encourage mothers to see the value in their creating and to try to support them to know that they are not alone - challenge cultural norms and break down a few patriarchal stereotypes along the way. Recently, in May 2023 I my work hours changed, and I knew I wouldn't have the time or the capacity to continue the podcast each week as I have since July 2021, Instead of giving up my labour of love, I looked at how else I could do things, and I started a written interview series in June 2023. From time to time you will still see podcasts pop up, Id o have time to do a couple every month, but you'll enjoy reading about the amazing creative mothers we have in our societies, all around the world. Never miss an episode - SUBSCRIBE to my newsletter Email First Name Last Name Join Our Mailing List Thanks for subscribing! Would you like to be a guest? Email Your name Tell me a bit about yourself and what you create, ages of children, etc ... Send Thanks for submitting! I will be in touch soon x Get a taste of Alison's new album WOLF which she is currently working on. Branding + logo design by “This feels like the podcast version of Rachel Power’s book The Divided Heart and I think it’s what we need.” Katherine Collette - author and podcaster "We have International Women's Day where everyone posts on their social media how good it is to support women. But Alison is example of someone actually actively doing that. And I have a lot of respect for that and very grateful for the opportunity to join in with the fantastic work she's doing." Fleur Harris - illustrator and designer "Alison has a charming and disarming interview style. This makes for a podcast that proves to be a great companion, throughout its entended library of interviews." Steve Davis - podcaster, critic, comedian and educa tor.

(Subscribe on iTunes, Spotify , Amazon , Audible , Google podcasts ) Jedda Glynn is a designer and small business owner from Burrungule, South Australia and a mother of 3. Jedda Grew up in a small country town, surrounded by a creative family. She’s been a dancer her whole life, running the Kongorong Calisthenics Club for many years, and recently starting her own small business, The Springs Creative, where Jedda arranges rustic dried flowers, with the help of her young children. We chat about how being creative kept her sane during a difficult time in her life, the joy of sharing the creative side of the business with her children and the importance of having a supportive family around her, and the perks of living in the country and raising children on a farm. **This episode contains discussions around domestic violence and an abusive relationship** Connect with Jedda on Instagram Find out about Squib Group Find out more about the Kongorong Calisthenics Club Connect with the podcast here Music used with permission in this episode is from Alison Newman and Alemjo When chatting to my guests I greatly appreciate their openness and honestly in sharing their stories. If at any stage their information is found to be incorrect, the podcast bears no responsibility for my guests' inaccuracies. Thank you! Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of The Art of Being A Mum Podcast. I’m beyond honoured that you’re here and would be grateful if you could take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star review in iTunes or wherever you are listening. It really helps! This way together we can inspire, connect and bring in to the light even more stories from creative mums. Want to connect? Take a screenshot of this episode and share it on Instagram tagging me in with @art_of_being_a_mum_podcast – can’t wait to connect. And remember if you or somebody you know would like to be a guest on the podcast, get in touch ! I love meeting and chatting to mammas from all creative backgrounds, from all around the world! Ch eck out more episodes .....